Sav on Saturday

I think if I were a bit less stubborn, I could stop posting here without guilt! lol Anyways, I think this will be pretty short tonight because I'm tired.

I'm reading through this biblically-based book by Henry Cloud and John Townsend called "Boundaries." One thing I've been learning is that we are responsible TO others and FOR ourselves. Boundaries define what is and is not me, giving me freedom to fully be myself. I cannot feel or act for others, I can only think and behave for myself.

2 Corinthians 9:7 bids us to not give to others "reluctantly or under compulsion." If you passively comply with a "should," you will resent it and not be of the right heart. I personally despise the word "should" as it implies limits set by others that we are expected to take for ourselves. We are given by God freedom to make our own boundaries and create our own lives. No matter how we feel, we have control over our choices.

A problem arises when we do not respect the boundaries of others or ourselves. We can become compliant by melting into the demands and needs of other people. We lose the ability to guard our hearts. On the other hand, aggressive controllers look for others to carry their burdens for them - they are often verbal or abusive. Manipulative controllers have the same goal in mind, but they tend to use guilt and cohersion. However, we cannot terrorize or make others feel guilty AND be loved by them at the same time. It's important to remember that while we are not responsible for others' emotions, we are responsible for how we treat them.

In summary, we are to love one another, not BE one another. I cannot feel, think, or behave for you. Setting limits and boundaries in life helps me to define who I am. Part of setting boundaries is taking responsbility for knowing what is and is not my job.

I hope some of that made sense. It's very hard to put into practice as I tend to be a combination of a compliant manipulator, but I'm working at it. Sometimes I think boundaries are important, but sometimes the rebel in me says that boundaries are meant to be pushed and stretched. But is that very respectful of others? How can I love truly if I do not love myself first by respecting myself?

Anyways, not much new is going on in my life. Still working at Borders. Sold my second Kobo e-Reader a few days ago. :) A little confused about some boundaries in my life, but nothing unmanageable. Hope you all are enjoying the last few weeks of freedom. :)