I think if I were a bit less stubborn, I could stop posting here without guilt! lol Anyways, I think this will be pretty short tonight because I'm tired.
I'm reading through this biblically-based book by Henry Cloud and John Townsend called "Boundaries." One thing I've been learning is that we are responsible TO others and FOR ourselves. Boundaries define what is and is not me, giving me freedom to fully be myself. I cannot feel or act for others, I can only think and behave for myself.
2 Corinthians 9:7 bids us to not give to others "reluctantly or under compulsion." If you passively comply with a "should," you will resent it and not be of the right heart. I personally despise the word "should" as it implies limits set by others that we are expected to take for ourselves. We are given by God freedom to make our own boundaries and create our own lives. No matter how we feel, we have control over our choices.
A problem arises when we do not respect the boundaries of others or ourselves. We can become compliant by melting into the demands and needs of other people. We lose the ability to guard our hearts. On the other hand, aggressive controllers look for others to carry their burdens for them - they are often verbal or abusive. Manipulative controllers have the same goal in mind, but they tend to use guilt and cohersion. However, we cannot terrorize or make others feel guilty AND be loved by them at the same time. It's important to remember that while we are not responsible for others' emotions, we are responsible for how we treat them.
In summary, we are to love one another, not BE one another. I cannot feel, think, or behave for you. Setting limits and boundaries in life helps me to define who I am. Part of setting boundaries is taking responsbility for knowing what is and is not my job.
I hope some of that made sense. It's very hard to put into practice as I tend to be a combination of a compliant manipulator, but I'm working at it. Sometimes I think boundaries are important, but sometimes the rebel in me says that boundaries are meant to be pushed and stretched. But is that very respectful of others? How can I love truly if I do not love myself first by respecting myself?
Anyways, not much new is going on in my life. Still working at Borders. Sold my second Kobo e-Reader a few days ago. :) A little confused about some boundaries in my life, but nothing unmanageable. Hope you all are enjoying the last few weeks of freedom. :)
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Sav on Saturday
I'm going to try to explain a little more about the book “A History of God” this week. Last week was just crazy because I was in Wisconsin and had poor internet service and no time! But now I'm back in Michigan. In fact, my cousins from Tennessee have been visiting this week. They are going back home on Sunday. Then, my mom and I are going to a little bed and breakfast (probably in Toledo) Monday and Tuesday night to have some mother-daughter time. :) Work is going well. I love it! I'm going to miss working when school starts. I'm a little crazy in that regard! Oh, - and I just sold my first Kobo e-Reader today!!!!! (which are way better than Kindles or Nooks, just ask me why :P )
Anyways, so I'm half way through my huge book, and it's going rather slowly just because each sentence has so much information packed into it. I found the chapter on the Christian trinity to be especially fascinating. To make things short, the idea of the trinity was not original to the Christian movement. Two different camps were in conflict on whether Jesus was God by nature or divine by selection. The first went with the idea of original sin that humans need divine intervention to be saved. The second went with the more optimistic view that humans can attain divinity and perfection through obedience to God.
The Greek church solved this tension with a rather brilliant theological proposal. They made a distinction between God's essence and God's manifestations. We see God as three in one, but God's eternal essence is in unity. There is one divine self-consciousness, but when God lets humans glimpse him, he has three different faces.
In contrast with Eastern Christianity (Greek), the West has tended to take the Trinity very literally. The original purpose of the trinity was to understand how Jesus could be divine and how to describe the Holy Spirit. It was not meant to be a literal description of God, rather it was meant to help us retain a sense of the mystery and incomprehensibility surrounding God. The idea of the trinity was hard to understand on purpose! The Greek Christians believed strongly that one cannot describe God or theology, and any attempts to do so are purely symbolic and meant to instill awe in the worshippers.
In fact, throughout Christian history, people have viewed God in different lights. Some viewed God as personal, some as impersonal. Some saw God as highly involved in human life, others saw God as too high above to notice humans. Some saw God as the ground of all being, some saw God as a supernatural being himself. Some believe God can be described, many believe that to try to describe God will only cause us to create a God in our own image. Anthropomorphism is a very real threat. I love finding out that there have been many diverse views held by Christians. It is comforting to know that what one group defines as heresy, another defines as truth. There has never been a unified Christianity, nor will there ever be one.
Additionally, some (religious philosophers) believed that God could be understood and proven to exist rationally through logic exercises. Others, the mystics, believed that while logic was important, the religious experience was more central to the person's development. They saw God as quite beyond our knowledge, and thus only a transcendental kind of experience can connect us with the divine. I think a balance of both viewpoints is important. We should be able to ask questions and think logically, but we should also realize that few answers exist and that God is beyond our comprehension. I think understanding this creates a healthy tension.
Anyways, so I'm half way through my huge book, and it's going rather slowly just because each sentence has so much information packed into it. I found the chapter on the Christian trinity to be especially fascinating. To make things short, the idea of the trinity was not original to the Christian movement. Two different camps were in conflict on whether Jesus was God by nature or divine by selection. The first went with the idea of original sin that humans need divine intervention to be saved. The second went with the more optimistic view that humans can attain divinity and perfection through obedience to God.
The Greek church solved this tension with a rather brilliant theological proposal. They made a distinction between God's essence and God's manifestations. We see God as three in one, but God's eternal essence is in unity. There is one divine self-consciousness, but when God lets humans glimpse him, he has three different faces.
In contrast with Eastern Christianity (Greek), the West has tended to take the Trinity very literally. The original purpose of the trinity was to understand how Jesus could be divine and how to describe the Holy Spirit. It was not meant to be a literal description of God, rather it was meant to help us retain a sense of the mystery and incomprehensibility surrounding God. The idea of the trinity was hard to understand on purpose! The Greek Christians believed strongly that one cannot describe God or theology, and any attempts to do so are purely symbolic and meant to instill awe in the worshippers.
In fact, throughout Christian history, people have viewed God in different lights. Some viewed God as personal, some as impersonal. Some saw God as highly involved in human life, others saw God as too high above to notice humans. Some saw God as the ground of all being, some saw God as a supernatural being himself. Some believe God can be described, many believe that to try to describe God will only cause us to create a God in our own image. Anthropomorphism is a very real threat. I love finding out that there have been many diverse views held by Christians. It is comforting to know that what one group defines as heresy, another defines as truth. There has never been a unified Christianity, nor will there ever be one.
Additionally, some (religious philosophers) believed that God could be understood and proven to exist rationally through logic exercises. Others, the mystics, believed that while logic was important, the religious experience was more central to the person's development. They saw God as quite beyond our knowledge, and thus only a transcendental kind of experience can connect us with the divine. I think a balance of both viewpoints is important. We should be able to ask questions and think logically, but we should also realize that few answers exist and that God is beyond our comprehension. I think understanding this creates a healthy tension.
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Sav on Saturday
This is going to be much shorter than normal because I feel silly exerting myself when no one seems to read it anyways! lol
So, I've been reading this book by Karen Armstrong called "A History of God." It follows the development of the three major monotheistic religions: Judaism, Christianity, Islam.
The historical insights provided by this book are priceless. I never read the Old Testament with such attention to the different backgrounds of the names of God and Jewish practices. I did not know that many of the Jewish practices and myths had their foundations in the pagan religions of that era. For example, it is unlikely that Abraham believed in only one God. He might have only worshipped one particular god, El Shaddai, (El of the Mountain, one of the common names for the Canaanite god) but that is not the same thing as monotheism, which is believing in only one god.
Abraham had faith in one god, which was a very pragmatic faith, a faith that brought him success, not a faith based on theological suppositions about only one God existing. This God has his beginnings as a tribal deity that murders other peoples and is brutally partial towards the Jews. Only later does he develop a compassionate front towards others.
I really could go on and on about this book, but it's almost overwhelming how much information is packed into its pages! Plus, I'm rather tired and growing somewhat delirious right now. ;)
I hope you all are doing well and enjoying this last month of summer! (I'm in Wisconsin right now, visiting my great-grandmother since I had a few days off work. Next week my cousins are coming up from Tennessee, so that should be fun.)
So, I've been reading this book by Karen Armstrong called "A History of God." It follows the development of the three major monotheistic religions: Judaism, Christianity, Islam.
The historical insights provided by this book are priceless. I never read the Old Testament with such attention to the different backgrounds of the names of God and Jewish practices. I did not know that many of the Jewish practices and myths had their foundations in the pagan religions of that era. For example, it is unlikely that Abraham believed in only one God. He might have only worshipped one particular god, El Shaddai, (El of the Mountain, one of the common names for the Canaanite god) but that is not the same thing as monotheism, which is believing in only one god.
Abraham had faith in one god, which was a very pragmatic faith, a faith that brought him success, not a faith based on theological suppositions about only one God existing. This God has his beginnings as a tribal deity that murders other peoples and is brutally partial towards the Jews. Only later does he develop a compassionate front towards others.
I really could go on and on about this book, but it's almost overwhelming how much information is packed into its pages! Plus, I'm rather tired and growing somewhat delirious right now. ;)
I hope you all are doing well and enjoying this last month of summer! (I'm in Wisconsin right now, visiting my great-grandmother since I had a few days off work. Next week my cousins are coming up from Tennessee, so that should be fun.)
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Sav on Saturday
I just finished reading a book by Elaine Pagels called “Adam, Eve, and the Serpent.” It's a highly engaging historical analysis of how the early Christians developed their views on sexuality, the creation story, the fall of man, and original sin.
Although I found the entire book to be enlightening about the fact that there has never been one “true” Christianity, a few points especially intrigued me.
For example, Augustine was the one to introduce, ie create, the idea of original sin. It had not been present in the Christian vocabulary before then. Augustine interpreted the fall of Adam as the fall of humanity. He saw death as unnatural, a punishment for Adam and Eve's sin. All of humanity is tainted by this moral decay in that sickness, hardship, and misery exist. No one is born innocent, for as Augustine asks, how could God allow the suffering of innocent infants? Augustine wielded incredible power as a theologian in his century, and his point of view neatly coincided with the acceptance of Christianity by the Roman Empire. Contrary to previous Christian views of complete moral freedom and the ability to self-govern, Augustine declared that government, ie Rome, was necessary in the light of man's corrupt nature.
Julian and Pelagius are the two theologians who were most vocal in defending the “traditional” Christian view of moral freedom. Julian read the fall of Adam as exactly that, the fall of Adam, not of humanity. He read it as a true parable about the “spiritual death” of people when they freely choose to sin and disobey God. When God said that Adam would die when he ate the fruit, it was not a physical death, for Adam did not immediately die as promised, but it was a spiritual death, for then Adam and Eve were ashamed of themselves and began a process of decay.
Julian, not a scientist but nonetheless possessing insight, saw death as natural. For when God declared that man should return to dust, it was because “you are earth” not because they sinned. Sickness and natural disasters are not a result of man's sin, for man has never held such power, but are part of nature. As such, they are not evil. Suffering is natural, but misery, which is how man deals with suffering, is a voluntary condition.
Isn't this so interesting??!! Or am I just being a complete booknerd right now? Lol Anywho, how did Augustine manage to so convince the majority of Christians to adopt the idea of original sin? The book does not presume to answer such a big question, but it proposes that Augustine's theory filled a void that existed. People of all cultures tend to experience blame and guilt for suffering, whether caused by “sin” or not, because this supports the idea of a universe governed by moral cause and effect. It gives control to humans and declares that their actions have significance in the world, whether for good or evil. Is guilt a good trade-off for this sense of control? Perhaps, since most humans are, according to Spong, affected by the trauma of self-consciousness.
Anyways, the book also addressed the debate in the early Christian world of whether virginity or marriage is better. It's rather interesting to see how our current Christian praise of virgins has developed. Whew! Ok, I'll give your brains a rest now. Lol
I just started my job at Borders on Tuesday, and I absolutely love it!! I adore shelving and pulling books, helping people find particular authors, giving recommendations, ringing up sales, etc. This is like my dream job basically! Haha Anyways, other than that, not much else has been going on that I will detail. Some relationship drama, but that's about all. Hope you all are getting ready to enjoy this last month of summer!
Although I found the entire book to be enlightening about the fact that there has never been one “true” Christianity, a few points especially intrigued me.
For example, Augustine was the one to introduce, ie create, the idea of original sin. It had not been present in the Christian vocabulary before then. Augustine interpreted the fall of Adam as the fall of humanity. He saw death as unnatural, a punishment for Adam and Eve's sin. All of humanity is tainted by this moral decay in that sickness, hardship, and misery exist. No one is born innocent, for as Augustine asks, how could God allow the suffering of innocent infants? Augustine wielded incredible power as a theologian in his century, and his point of view neatly coincided with the acceptance of Christianity by the Roman Empire. Contrary to previous Christian views of complete moral freedom and the ability to self-govern, Augustine declared that government, ie Rome, was necessary in the light of man's corrupt nature.
Julian and Pelagius are the two theologians who were most vocal in defending the “traditional” Christian view of moral freedom. Julian read the fall of Adam as exactly that, the fall of Adam, not of humanity. He read it as a true parable about the “spiritual death” of people when they freely choose to sin and disobey God. When God said that Adam would die when he ate the fruit, it was not a physical death, for Adam did not immediately die as promised, but it was a spiritual death, for then Adam and Eve were ashamed of themselves and began a process of decay.
Julian, not a scientist but nonetheless possessing insight, saw death as natural. For when God declared that man should return to dust, it was because “you are earth” not because they sinned. Sickness and natural disasters are not a result of man's sin, for man has never held such power, but are part of nature. As such, they are not evil. Suffering is natural, but misery, which is how man deals with suffering, is a voluntary condition.
Isn't this so interesting??!! Or am I just being a complete booknerd right now? Lol Anywho, how did Augustine manage to so convince the majority of Christians to adopt the idea of original sin? The book does not presume to answer such a big question, but it proposes that Augustine's theory filled a void that existed. People of all cultures tend to experience blame and guilt for suffering, whether caused by “sin” or not, because this supports the idea of a universe governed by moral cause and effect. It gives control to humans and declares that their actions have significance in the world, whether for good or evil. Is guilt a good trade-off for this sense of control? Perhaps, since most humans are, according to Spong, affected by the trauma of self-consciousness.
Anyways, the book also addressed the debate in the early Christian world of whether virginity or marriage is better. It's rather interesting to see how our current Christian praise of virgins has developed. Whew! Ok, I'll give your brains a rest now. Lol
I just started my job at Borders on Tuesday, and I absolutely love it!! I adore shelving and pulling books, helping people find particular authors, giving recommendations, ringing up sales, etc. This is like my dream job basically! Haha Anyways, other than that, not much else has been going on that I will detail. Some relationship drama, but that's about all. Hope you all are getting ready to enjoy this last month of summer!
Monday, July 26, 2010
Myrica Monday
hey girls...
gah, i can't believe I've gone so long without posting! I'm really really sorry about that. I want to say though, that I have been reading all of your posts, and I really appreciate hearing your thoughts and how you're all doing every time I get online (which tends to be every 3 or 4 days).
So what's up with me, you may be wondering? Well, honestly, half the time I'm not sure. Over the past couple weeks I've become really negligent about reading my bible, to tell you the truth, and that's had a lot to do with why I've been avoiding posting. But just because I haven't been regularly reading the Word doesn't mean I've stopped working on my relationship with God, I don't think. I feel like at least once everyday (and oftentimes more than once a day) I see something here, in nature, whether I'm out in the field with a class or just wandering around on my own, that just puts me in complete awe of His creation. I mean, really. I've known for a while that this connection I feel between God and the natural world is a very large part of why I'm in the major I'm in, but I'm reminded of it more than ever, the longer I spend at the biostation. I think these moments of awe are gentle reminders from God, because there have definitely been times this summer when I mentally kick myself for taking classes (who wants to be in school when you could be at the beach with friends?) or for choosing the classes that I did, because I think they're pretty hard. So, me enjoying the beauty of God's creation is His way of reminding me why I'm supposed to be studying this - to help conserve and protect God's creation.
Oh, also, I just finished reading a book for my lit class called "Refuge" by Terry Tempest Williams. I'm not going to lie, it was a terribly book. It's the true story of TTW's mom dying of cancer, being Mormon, and TTW's connection to nature. I cried during a lot of it, but it was fantastic. I think that part of the reason I connected with it so much was that it was a really exaggerated explanation of how I feel toward nature. Yeah, if you're interested in that kind of thing, you should check it out. :)
Okay, well I have to go finish writing a paper for tomorrow (ah! too much schoolwork!), so I'm gonna go do that...I hope you're all doing well! I love and miss all of you, and I really will try to post again next week, so that I'm back on a regular schedule.
Ok, bye!!! <3 <3 <3
gah, i can't believe I've gone so long without posting! I'm really really sorry about that. I want to say though, that I have been reading all of your posts, and I really appreciate hearing your thoughts and how you're all doing every time I get online (which tends to be every 3 or 4 days).
So what's up with me, you may be wondering? Well, honestly, half the time I'm not sure. Over the past couple weeks I've become really negligent about reading my bible, to tell you the truth, and that's had a lot to do with why I've been avoiding posting. But just because I haven't been regularly reading the Word doesn't mean I've stopped working on my relationship with God, I don't think. I feel like at least once everyday (and oftentimes more than once a day) I see something here, in nature, whether I'm out in the field with a class or just wandering around on my own, that just puts me in complete awe of His creation. I mean, really. I've known for a while that this connection I feel between God and the natural world is a very large part of why I'm in the major I'm in, but I'm reminded of it more than ever, the longer I spend at the biostation. I think these moments of awe are gentle reminders from God, because there have definitely been times this summer when I mentally kick myself for taking classes (who wants to be in school when you could be at the beach with friends?) or for choosing the classes that I did, because I think they're pretty hard. So, me enjoying the beauty of God's creation is His way of reminding me why I'm supposed to be studying this - to help conserve and protect God's creation.
Oh, also, I just finished reading a book for my lit class called "Refuge" by Terry Tempest Williams. I'm not going to lie, it was a terribly book. It's the true story of TTW's mom dying of cancer, being Mormon, and TTW's connection to nature. I cried during a lot of it, but it was fantastic. I think that part of the reason I connected with it so much was that it was a really exaggerated explanation of how I feel toward nature. Yeah, if you're interested in that kind of thing, you should check it out. :)
Okay, well I have to go finish writing a paper for tomorrow (ah! too much schoolwork!), so I'm gonna go do that...I hope you're all doing well! I love and miss all of you, and I really will try to post again next week, so that I'm back on a regular schedule.
Ok, bye!!! <3 <3 <3
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Sav on Saturday
Alright, when I say that this post will be short, I actually mean it this time! lol
I don't have a lot new to add to my discussion from last week (I covered a lot between the post and my comment on it). Suffice to say that I'm questioning the value of reading the Bible literally. I do not believe the Gospels were necessarily meant to convey historical truths as much as they were meant to convey the mysteries of the God-experience the early Christians found in Jesus. (Read "Jesus for the Non-Religious" by John Shelby Spong for information about how the Gospels follow liturgical patterns).
Additionally, the earliest texts on the resurrection were from Paul, and they never specifically identify the resurrection as a physical, earthly one. In fact, they leave out many details about the crucifixion and "betrayal" that the Gospels, written many years later, gradually add. The resurrection, some scholars believe, was originally a spiritual one to explain how the Christ-experience didn't die with Christ. Mark, the first Gospel written, does not have any witnesses to the resurrection. The last few verses in that Gospel that identify the resurrection story are only included in later texts. As well, the Gospels do not agree on the details about the resurrection. There are many contradictions. Why is it so necessary for us to believe that Christ had a physical resurrection? I don't think it is. Early Christians were trying to avoid the sticky question of how the Christ could die. But if you see the crucifixion as a symbol of God's love, then a spiritual resurrection is perfectly adequate.
Am I making any sense at all? I feel like I'm babbling with my thoughts randomly spitting out. That's how I think sometimes. Oh - another thing. A lot of scholars believe that the "miracles" of the New Testament were actually how the early Jews tried to explain how they experienced God through Jesus. Most of the miracles and other prophesy-fulfilling details are not historically accurate, necessarily, but are the Jewish Christians' way of attributing to Jesus the signs of the Christ Messiah. They were symbolic liturgies developed, as some scholars postulate, to help the early Christians process the life and experience of Jesus.
Anywho, as for me, I start my Borders job on Tuesday. I signed a contract with the Truth Co-op (on Washtenaw) this Thursday, so I will be living on campus next year. Other than that, I've just been reading and cultivating relationships. :)
I don't have a lot new to add to my discussion from last week (I covered a lot between the post and my comment on it). Suffice to say that I'm questioning the value of reading the Bible literally. I do not believe the Gospels were necessarily meant to convey historical truths as much as they were meant to convey the mysteries of the God-experience the early Christians found in Jesus. (Read "Jesus for the Non-Religious" by John Shelby Spong for information about how the Gospels follow liturgical patterns).
Additionally, the earliest texts on the resurrection were from Paul, and they never specifically identify the resurrection as a physical, earthly one. In fact, they leave out many details about the crucifixion and "betrayal" that the Gospels, written many years later, gradually add. The resurrection, some scholars believe, was originally a spiritual one to explain how the Christ-experience didn't die with Christ. Mark, the first Gospel written, does not have any witnesses to the resurrection. The last few verses in that Gospel that identify the resurrection story are only included in later texts. As well, the Gospels do not agree on the details about the resurrection. There are many contradictions. Why is it so necessary for us to believe that Christ had a physical resurrection? I don't think it is. Early Christians were trying to avoid the sticky question of how the Christ could die. But if you see the crucifixion as a symbol of God's love, then a spiritual resurrection is perfectly adequate.
Am I making any sense at all? I feel like I'm babbling with my thoughts randomly spitting out. That's how I think sometimes. Oh - another thing. A lot of scholars believe that the "miracles" of the New Testament were actually how the early Jews tried to explain how they experienced God through Jesus. Most of the miracles and other prophesy-fulfilling details are not historically accurate, necessarily, but are the Jewish Christians' way of attributing to Jesus the signs of the Christ Messiah. They were symbolic liturgies developed, as some scholars postulate, to help the early Christians process the life and experience of Jesus.
Anywho, as for me, I start my Borders job on Tuesday. I signed a contract with the Truth Co-op (on Washtenaw) this Thursday, so I will be living on campus next year. Other than that, I've just been reading and cultivating relationships. :)
Friday, July 23, 2010
:)
hi everyone.....so i've obviously been neglecting this...but since i've posted last i visited dalbert and i loved it. it was sooo good to see him. speedway has been there..hahaha but i will miss some of this people i work with..ok tops three people haha. But in terms spiritually, i haven't really been reading my bible but i still continue to go to my home church. but God has been SO good lately. he has really calmed my spirit as i learn to trust him more..haha took me long enough....he has calmed me about my future and finances with school. I was really worried because I didn't get this scholarship again because my mom doesn't live in kent county anymore so i was really upset. But he has really come through and i think i may have to pay less this year than i had to last year. I also heard this really good sermon at church on sunday. At first I didn't want to go to church because I thought it would be super boring and i would fall asleep. But it was about never giving up on God, the miracles you have been praying for could be right around the corner but you have given up. Like the prayers will never come true if YOU give up. I hope im explaining this well because i really liked it. I have been praying for a long time for family members to be saved and it gave me more motivation. i have been reading 1 Corinthians and trying to find so answers to many questions i have about living in christ...like about relationships with people, etc. but i definitely need to pray on it because some things i just dont understand...hahaha
Monday, July 19, 2010
erica's post :)
today, i read through Mark 1 and Jeremiah 14 and 15 (because i missed a couple days' worth of devotions >< )
since we've been reading through the book of mark in life group, it wasn't that long ago that i read through this book but it was still nice for me to revisit it and remember what i learned from it when we read it together at the beginning of summer, and also trying to learn new things from it.
- one thing i noticed was that the gospel of Mark specifically states that the story of Jesus begins with a prophesy about John the Baptist. it really shows that John the Baptist "prepared the way" for Jesus, and that the story of Jesus starts with prophesies made about him in the old testament; his story can't be understood entirely without them. part of Jesus' legitimacy as the Son of God comes from the fact that he fulfilled all those prophesies, after all.
- another thing i noticed was that, right after John the Baptist says "after me will come one more powerful than i, the thongs of whose sandals i am not worthy to stoop down and untie." Jesus shows up and asks him to baptize him, hahah. it reminds me that although Jesus doesn't need to, he regularly chooses to use those who have the humility and wisdom to understand their positions relative to God. i pray that we will both be able to have that kind of an understanding, to know how unworthy we are to worship or commune with God, to remember always that we are merely jars of clay (2 corinthians 4:7).
- i remember one of the huddle groups sharing that they had observed how mission-minded Jesus is. he's singularly focused on what he was sent to do. if i were him, i probably would have just stayed in Capernaum - his ministry was so successful, hahah. everybody loved him and wanted to hear him preach (it says in verse 33 that the whole town gathered outside Simon's mother-in-law's house to hear him preach and heal people). but Jesus says, "let us go somewhere else - to the nearby villages- so i can preach there also. that is why i have come" (v. 38)
- i love how Mark records down the fact that Jesus slipped out really early in the morning and prayed, and it took his disciples so long to find him and tell him that everybody was looking for him. it reminds me of something i'm really fighting to remember all the time. my life is about my relationship with God. ministry and spending time with people is great and everything, but my relationship with God needs to come first. i think i shared this with you already, but nayoung really challenged me to deepen and treasure and cultivate my relationship with God this coming year. she said to me, "yeah, next year's not going to be easy, it sounds like you're going to be really busy. but so long as your relationship with God is ok, everything will work out." this past week, i hit a lot of snags and arguments with people, and i often feel so unmotivated and lazy, hahah. i barely spent time with God, and as a result everything i did felt really... empty. nothing felt right. i need to fight my heart to spend time with God. a friend said to me the other day that she feels like she really has to fight herself to spend time with God. she knows it's good, but she just can't make herself do it. and she told me that one time as she was about to board the plane, she said to herself, ok i HAVE TO READ THE BIBLE. so she packed nothing but her bible for the plane ride so that she would read it hahahahahahha. that's how i need to be fighting to spend time with God.
i think last week i felt really discouraged because i wanted to do all these other things instead of spending time with God, and because the desire to do other things was so strong, i felt discouraged by the fact that i wanted to read God's word so little, so i just decided not to do it altogether. but when i finally sat down one day and made myself do my devotions, i felt God saying to me, the problem isn't that you are tempted. of course there will be days when you don't want to read my word. you're still living in your sinful flesh so obviously you're going to want to do other things all the time. the problem is that you didn't turn away from these temptations, and realize that obedience to me is so much better. you just gave up.
God, i pray for the strength to be like Jesus, and do whatever it takes to guard my quiet time with you every single day. and i pray the same for my sisters as well :)
since we've been reading through the book of mark in life group, it wasn't that long ago that i read through this book but it was still nice for me to revisit it and remember what i learned from it when we read it together at the beginning of summer, and also trying to learn new things from it.
- one thing i noticed was that the gospel of Mark specifically states that the story of Jesus begins with a prophesy about John the Baptist. it really shows that John the Baptist "prepared the way" for Jesus, and that the story of Jesus starts with prophesies made about him in the old testament; his story can't be understood entirely without them. part of Jesus' legitimacy as the Son of God comes from the fact that he fulfilled all those prophesies, after all.
- another thing i noticed was that, right after John the Baptist says "after me will come one more powerful than i, the thongs of whose sandals i am not worthy to stoop down and untie." Jesus shows up and asks him to baptize him, hahah. it reminds me that although Jesus doesn't need to, he regularly chooses to use those who have the humility and wisdom to understand their positions relative to God. i pray that we will both be able to have that kind of an understanding, to know how unworthy we are to worship or commune with God, to remember always that we are merely jars of clay (2 corinthians 4:7).
- i remember one of the huddle groups sharing that they had observed how mission-minded Jesus is. he's singularly focused on what he was sent to do. if i were him, i probably would have just stayed in Capernaum - his ministry was so successful, hahah. everybody loved him and wanted to hear him preach (it says in verse 33 that the whole town gathered outside Simon's mother-in-law's house to hear him preach and heal people). but Jesus says, "let us go somewhere else - to the nearby villages- so i can preach there also. that is why i have come" (v. 38)
- i love how Mark records down the fact that Jesus slipped out really early in the morning and prayed, and it took his disciples so long to find him and tell him that everybody was looking for him. it reminds me of something i'm really fighting to remember all the time. my life is about my relationship with God. ministry and spending time with people is great and everything, but my relationship with God needs to come first. i think i shared this with you already, but nayoung really challenged me to deepen and treasure and cultivate my relationship with God this coming year. she said to me, "yeah, next year's not going to be easy, it sounds like you're going to be really busy. but so long as your relationship with God is ok, everything will work out." this past week, i hit a lot of snags and arguments with people, and i often feel so unmotivated and lazy, hahah. i barely spent time with God, and as a result everything i did felt really... empty. nothing felt right. i need to fight my heart to spend time with God. a friend said to me the other day that she feels like she really has to fight herself to spend time with God. she knows it's good, but she just can't make herself do it. and she told me that one time as she was about to board the plane, she said to herself, ok i HAVE TO READ THE BIBLE. so she packed nothing but her bible for the plane ride so that she would read it hahahahahahha. that's how i need to be fighting to spend time with God.
i think last week i felt really discouraged because i wanted to do all these other things instead of spending time with God, and because the desire to do other things was so strong, i felt discouraged by the fact that i wanted to read God's word so little, so i just decided not to do it altogether. but when i finally sat down one day and made myself do my devotions, i felt God saying to me, the problem isn't that you are tempted. of course there will be days when you don't want to read my word. you're still living in your sinful flesh so obviously you're going to want to do other things all the time. the problem is that you didn't turn away from these temptations, and realize that obedience to me is so much better. you just gave up.
God, i pray for the strength to be like Jesus, and do whatever it takes to guard my quiet time with you every single day. and i pray the same for my sisters as well :)
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Sav on Saturday
This is going to be short because .... ok, so I don't have a good reason for it being short, but it will be. lol
Anywho, I've been thinking a lot about Christ's death and resurrection. Just trying to comprehend it, I guess. Like, I'm not sure I believe in Original Sin. It does not make sense to me that God would punish all mankind for the sins of Adam and Eve, who are mythological figures anyways. What really was so bad about the tree in the center of the garden? Why would God create an arbitrary rule about not eating its fruit and then command us to obey Him blindly, trusting that He has a good reason? Sounds more like ancient people trying to make sense of why evil exists.
And why would God demand blood in exchange for the supposed "sins" of mankind? Isn't that a bit primitive and heartlessly demanding? It hearkens back to the way biblical people saw sacrifices as necessary to atone for their conscious and unconscious offenses against the tribal God who provided for them. If the death of Christ truly is a physical and spiritual atonement for the evils of mankind, why would God create a world in which death was a punishment for falling short of perfection?
If the death of Christ is more of a symbol of God's infinite love for people, it makes more sense. Then the acts of Christ culminate logically in this ultimate show of how we should love and live for others. His resurrection, then, is less of a divine miracle and more of a symbol for the idea that life does not end after death - God is the God of the living, not the dead. That should ease our minds about eternity.
I know this is going to sound heretical, but I'm not even sure I believe in hell. When Jesus spoke about Hell, he spoke about it with reference to self-righteous pharisees and leaders who mislead others. It seems more of a lesson that actions have consequences and that such behavior is not tolerable, than a lesson on the literal existence of a hell. No loving God wants His people to be eternally punished just because they did not believe a certain doctrine in their short life. Yes, people have free will, but everyone is making the best decisions they can with the information they have in that moment. No one deserves eternal death. If you believe in original sin, you believe that everyone deserves death, but if you believe that man is made in God's image, then you see man as striving nobly to live as best as he can, deserving of mercy and grace.
I guess my "problem", if you call it that, is that I don't necessarily believe in the inerrancy of the Bible. I think the Bible tells us about how ancient peoples understood and related to their God. We can learn from such stories and lessons, as the Bible says all scripture is useful for teaching. That doesn't mean it is all completely true. It is how fallible humans perceive the world. A God that we can understand and box within a certain doctrine is not God.
Please don't misunderstand me, I believe Jesus is divine and brought to humans a revolutionary understanding of how to live in love, a concept that transcended the tribal boundaries of the world existing then. We should follow His model of how to act and think, but we are in danger of becoming like the doctrinally-focused pharisees and saduccees of that age. They believed that humans had to act in a certain way and believe a certain thing about God to be saved. Modern Christians walk that line in requiring people to be "born again" and accept unconditionally the fundamentals of the faith. Jesus never preached a doctrine, he preached a way of life, a way of bringing the kingdom of heaven, of God, to earth. He encouraged thinking through the use of parables, he encouraged questions by asking them.
Anywho, so much for a short post! I know I've been sort of thinking out loud and that I've certainly disturbed a few of you with the directions of my thoughts, but this is where I am. I don't want to lie about what I am thinking or project the image of a blindly following Christian. That's not who I am. I will continue to think and question because God gave me a brain and expects me to use it. I'll probably come back next Saturday with completely different ideas, but that is the beauty of the evolution of thought! We can change and move forward, a natural process!
So, about me...I start my job at Borders soon. I'm thinking about trying to find a room to rent on campus or trying to join a co-op just so I don't have to commute all year. My parents aren't happy about the idea though, so I'm not sure if it will go anywhere. We got back from Tennessee on Wednesday, so I've mostly been reading since then. I'm currently reading "A New Christianity for a New World" by Bishop John Shelby Spong. It has some faulty thought processes and questionable "facts" but the foundational ideas of the book are intriguing nonetheless. Anywho, I also got accepted into UROP for next year, so I've been rearranging my schedule. Fun stuff. lol I hope you all are doing well! I miss you all and hope to visit Ann Arbor soon!
Anywho, I've been thinking a lot about Christ's death and resurrection. Just trying to comprehend it, I guess. Like, I'm not sure I believe in Original Sin. It does not make sense to me that God would punish all mankind for the sins of Adam and Eve, who are mythological figures anyways. What really was so bad about the tree in the center of the garden? Why would God create an arbitrary rule about not eating its fruit and then command us to obey Him blindly, trusting that He has a good reason? Sounds more like ancient people trying to make sense of why evil exists.
And why would God demand blood in exchange for the supposed "sins" of mankind? Isn't that a bit primitive and heartlessly demanding? It hearkens back to the way biblical people saw sacrifices as necessary to atone for their conscious and unconscious offenses against the tribal God who provided for them. If the death of Christ truly is a physical and spiritual atonement for the evils of mankind, why would God create a world in which death was a punishment for falling short of perfection?
If the death of Christ is more of a symbol of God's infinite love for people, it makes more sense. Then the acts of Christ culminate logically in this ultimate show of how we should love and live for others. His resurrection, then, is less of a divine miracle and more of a symbol for the idea that life does not end after death - God is the God of the living, not the dead. That should ease our minds about eternity.
I know this is going to sound heretical, but I'm not even sure I believe in hell. When Jesus spoke about Hell, he spoke about it with reference to self-righteous pharisees and leaders who mislead others. It seems more of a lesson that actions have consequences and that such behavior is not tolerable, than a lesson on the literal existence of a hell. No loving God wants His people to be eternally punished just because they did not believe a certain doctrine in their short life. Yes, people have free will, but everyone is making the best decisions they can with the information they have in that moment. No one deserves eternal death. If you believe in original sin, you believe that everyone deserves death, but if you believe that man is made in God's image, then you see man as striving nobly to live as best as he can, deserving of mercy and grace.
I guess my "problem", if you call it that, is that I don't necessarily believe in the inerrancy of the Bible. I think the Bible tells us about how ancient peoples understood and related to their God. We can learn from such stories and lessons, as the Bible says all scripture is useful for teaching. That doesn't mean it is all completely true. It is how fallible humans perceive the world. A God that we can understand and box within a certain doctrine is not God.
Please don't misunderstand me, I believe Jesus is divine and brought to humans a revolutionary understanding of how to live in love, a concept that transcended the tribal boundaries of the world existing then. We should follow His model of how to act and think, but we are in danger of becoming like the doctrinally-focused pharisees and saduccees of that age. They believed that humans had to act in a certain way and believe a certain thing about God to be saved. Modern Christians walk that line in requiring people to be "born again" and accept unconditionally the fundamentals of the faith. Jesus never preached a doctrine, he preached a way of life, a way of bringing the kingdom of heaven, of God, to earth. He encouraged thinking through the use of parables, he encouraged questions by asking them.
Anywho, so much for a short post! I know I've been sort of thinking out loud and that I've certainly disturbed a few of you with the directions of my thoughts, but this is where I am. I don't want to lie about what I am thinking or project the image of a blindly following Christian. That's not who I am. I will continue to think and question because God gave me a brain and expects me to use it. I'll probably come back next Saturday with completely different ideas, but that is the beauty of the evolution of thought! We can change and move forward, a natural process!
So, about me...I start my job at Borders soon. I'm thinking about trying to find a room to rent on campus or trying to join a co-op just so I don't have to commute all year. My parents aren't happy about the idea though, so I'm not sure if it will go anywhere. We got back from Tennessee on Wednesday, so I've mostly been reading since then. I'm currently reading "A New Christianity for a New World" by Bishop John Shelby Spong. It has some faulty thought processes and questionable "facts" but the foundational ideas of the book are intriguing nonetheless. Anywho, I also got accepted into UROP for next year, so I've been rearranging my schedule. Fun stuff. lol I hope you all are doing well! I miss you all and hope to visit Ann Arbor soon!
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Wednesday
Hellooooooo!!
I'm not sure I'm actually writing this to anyone since our blog has been pretty sparse lately (I know my posts have been sporadic too) but I decided to post anyway!
I'm reading through Isaiah and Revelation right now. I'm still pretty behind on the BRP, but I guess what really matters is not where I am but whether or not I'm able to dig in deep and understand God more through what I read.
I really like Isaiah 31. In my Bible the passage is titled "Alliance with Egypt is Futile."
Here's a small part:
"Alas for those who go down to Egypt for help
and who rely on horses,
who trust in chariots because there are many
and in horseman because they are very strong,
but do not look to the Holy One of Israel
or consult the LORD!
The Egyptians are human, and not God;
their horses are flesh, and not spirit.
When the LORD stretches out his hand,
the helper will stumble, and the one helped will fall,
and they will all perish together."
-Isaiah 31:1, 3
Here, Isaiah addresses the Israelites, who in battle turn to the Egyptians, their former oppressors, rather than to God who has repeatedly delivered them. How many times have I similarly chosen support based on wrong impressions? How many times have I chosen my own plans or the people I thought best able to provide advice rather than following God and also allowing Him to place people in my life able to speak wisdom into a situation I was going through, regardless of external "qualifications"? I see God's provision again and again, yet I turn back to my self-sufficiency. I know God is eternal and all other support temporary and yet I fail again and again to make decisions in light of that truth.
After reading this passage, I kept reflecting on the idea of being a vessel--broken, cracked, yet God slowly heals me and mends the cracks. Then, as His grace and love flow freely, they fill the vessel to the brim, then overflowing. At this, I take the vessel back into my control--treating God more as a repairman than a father and master, as my creator. I tend to think that though He created me and "fixed" the cracks made by my own and others' sin, I can do the maintenance alone. But I can't. Every time I turn back to my own self-sufficiency, the cracks reform and I can no longer hold God's grace. He continues to pour it in, but it leaks out. He continues to reach out to mend me, but its hard to fix something always on the move...and so, eventually, I return again to God, entirely crumbled again, often unable to move...and He patiently mends me again.
Instead of repeating this cycle of self-sufficiency and resultant brokenness, I hope to really learn an attitude of constant dependence, and an ability to wait quietly in God's presence. Of course, God is constantly redeeming me, but to ever go further, deeper, I need to remain in His presence and rely on Him consistently!
"I know your works, your toil and your patient endurance. I know that you cannot tolerate evildoers; you have tested those who claim to be apostles, but are not, and have found them to be false. I also know that you are enduring patiently and bearing up for the sake of my name, and that you have not grown weary. But I have this against you, that you have abandoned the love you had at first. Remember then from what you have fallen; repent, and do the works you did at first." --Revelation 2:2-5a
Things have been getting a little bit busier around here. Excel (the kids ESL classes that HMCC does) started up last week and I'm working in Rainbow class two mornings a week--kids going into the 3rd grade. It's a lot of fun and I really like the praise songs like the hippo one and undignified. If you don't know them, I'll teach them to you when you're back in Ann Arbor. They're hilarious!! Also, my ESL class just started our field work teaching migrant farm workers down in Manchester. Our first day was utterly chaotic but a lot of fun, and I'm looking forward to going back tomorrow night. Other than those two things, working, and meeting up with people, summer has still been pretty chill. I've recently been really addicted to The Office and I made it through the first two seasons in the last week. haha
Hope you are all doing well too!! :)
I'm not sure I'm actually writing this to anyone since our blog has been pretty sparse lately (I know my posts have been sporadic too) but I decided to post anyway!
I'm reading through Isaiah and Revelation right now. I'm still pretty behind on the BRP, but I guess what really matters is not where I am but whether or not I'm able to dig in deep and understand God more through what I read.
I really like Isaiah 31. In my Bible the passage is titled "Alliance with Egypt is Futile."
Here's a small part:
"Alas for those who go down to Egypt for help
and who rely on horses,
who trust in chariots because there are many
and in horseman because they are very strong,
but do not look to the Holy One of Israel
or consult the LORD!
The Egyptians are human, and not God;
their horses are flesh, and not spirit.
When the LORD stretches out his hand,
the helper will stumble, and the one helped will fall,
and they will all perish together."
-Isaiah 31:1, 3
Here, Isaiah addresses the Israelites, who in battle turn to the Egyptians, their former oppressors, rather than to God who has repeatedly delivered them. How many times have I similarly chosen support based on wrong impressions? How many times have I chosen my own plans or the people I thought best able to provide advice rather than following God and also allowing Him to place people in my life able to speak wisdom into a situation I was going through, regardless of external "qualifications"? I see God's provision again and again, yet I turn back to my self-sufficiency. I know God is eternal and all other support temporary and yet I fail again and again to make decisions in light of that truth.
After reading this passage, I kept reflecting on the idea of being a vessel--broken, cracked, yet God slowly heals me and mends the cracks. Then, as His grace and love flow freely, they fill the vessel to the brim, then overflowing. At this, I take the vessel back into my control--treating God more as a repairman than a father and master, as my creator. I tend to think that though He created me and "fixed" the cracks made by my own and others' sin, I can do the maintenance alone. But I can't. Every time I turn back to my own self-sufficiency, the cracks reform and I can no longer hold God's grace. He continues to pour it in, but it leaks out. He continues to reach out to mend me, but its hard to fix something always on the move...and so, eventually, I return again to God, entirely crumbled again, often unable to move...and He patiently mends me again.
Instead of repeating this cycle of self-sufficiency and resultant brokenness, I hope to really learn an attitude of constant dependence, and an ability to wait quietly in God's presence. Of course, God is constantly redeeming me, but to ever go further, deeper, I need to remain in His presence and rely on Him consistently!
"I know your works, your toil and your patient endurance. I know that you cannot tolerate evildoers; you have tested those who claim to be apostles, but are not, and have found them to be false. I also know that you are enduring patiently and bearing up for the sake of my name, and that you have not grown weary. But I have this against you, that you have abandoned the love you had at first. Remember then from what you have fallen; repent, and do the works you did at first." --Revelation 2:2-5a
Things have been getting a little bit busier around here. Excel (the kids ESL classes that HMCC does) started up last week and I'm working in Rainbow class two mornings a week--kids going into the 3rd grade. It's a lot of fun and I really like the praise songs like the hippo one and undignified. If you don't know them, I'll teach them to you when you're back in Ann Arbor. They're hilarious!! Also, my ESL class just started our field work teaching migrant farm workers down in Manchester. Our first day was utterly chaotic but a lot of fun, and I'm looking forward to going back tomorrow night. Other than those two things, working, and meeting up with people, summer has still been pretty chill. I've recently been really addicted to The Office and I made it through the first two seasons in the last week. haha
Hope you are all doing well too!! :)
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Sav on Saturday
I am currently reading a very thought-provoking book called “Stealing Jesus: How Fundamentalism Betrays Christianity” by Bruce Bawer. It challenges a lot of our tightly held convictions by pointing to scripture, experience, and historical context. I highly recommend reading it, especially if you like to think and question.
One thing that really hit me was a passage from 1 Corinthians 13. We've all read and heard this chapter a million times. It is probably one of the most famous New Testament passages. But look at that last verse one more time: “There are three things that last forever: faith, hope, and love; and the greatest of the three is love”. Did you catch that? Love is greater than faith. Love transcends doubt. Love is the most everlasting “thing”.
Think about it, when asked what is the greatest commandment, Jesus says that it is to love God, and the second is to love your neighbor. Jesus did not preach a doctrine or a theology, he preached parables and did miracles. He walked in love and taught in love. His death on the cross and his resurrection are powerful symbols of God's love for his people – everyone.
Jesus ministered to and walked with outcasts while he was on this earth. He declared taxpayers and prostitutes to be closer to the kingdom of God than the righteous pharisees. And the kingdom of God was not just something in the afterlife, it was a powerful experience of living in God's love on earth.
I'm not even halfway through with this book, but it is simply amazing. Not because it preaches something new and different, but because it tells me what I already know in my heart to be true. Too often, we dismiss the power of the Holy Spirit and declare that we cannot trust our emotions or our logic. Nothing could be further from the truth. How else does the Holy Spirit live and work in us today? The Bible says that all men will be held accountable for their beliefs and actions because they know in their heart there is a God – God is present in nature and in our lives. What does specific doctrine and theology matter if a man or woman has the love of God in their hearts? Is not that person, that “social outcast” (outcast for not perhaps being a Christian in name) closer to the kingdom of God than those of us who are self-righteous?
Anywho, I've gone on long enough. Just wanted to give you some things to think about.
I'm still in Tennessee visiting family until Wednesday. Nothing too exciting has happened. I've mostly been doing a lot of reading, phone talking, and thinking about my fall plans. I'll try to give a more detailed update in the future.... Hope you all are well and enjoying the freedom of thought!
One thing that really hit me was a passage from 1 Corinthians 13. We've all read and heard this chapter a million times. It is probably one of the most famous New Testament passages. But look at that last verse one more time: “There are three things that last forever: faith, hope, and love; and the greatest of the three is love”. Did you catch that? Love is greater than faith. Love transcends doubt. Love is the most everlasting “thing”.
Think about it, when asked what is the greatest commandment, Jesus says that it is to love God, and the second is to love your neighbor. Jesus did not preach a doctrine or a theology, he preached parables and did miracles. He walked in love and taught in love. His death on the cross and his resurrection are powerful symbols of God's love for his people – everyone.
Jesus ministered to and walked with outcasts while he was on this earth. He declared taxpayers and prostitutes to be closer to the kingdom of God than the righteous pharisees. And the kingdom of God was not just something in the afterlife, it was a powerful experience of living in God's love on earth.
I'm not even halfway through with this book, but it is simply amazing. Not because it preaches something new and different, but because it tells me what I already know in my heart to be true. Too often, we dismiss the power of the Holy Spirit and declare that we cannot trust our emotions or our logic. Nothing could be further from the truth. How else does the Holy Spirit live and work in us today? The Bible says that all men will be held accountable for their beliefs and actions because they know in their heart there is a God – God is present in nature and in our lives. What does specific doctrine and theology matter if a man or woman has the love of God in their hearts? Is not that person, that “social outcast” (outcast for not perhaps being a Christian in name) closer to the kingdom of God than those of us who are self-righteous?
Anywho, I've gone on long enough. Just wanted to give you some things to think about.
I'm still in Tennessee visiting family until Wednesday. Nothing too exciting has happened. I've mostly been doing a lot of reading, phone talking, and thinking about my fall plans. I'll try to give a more detailed update in the future.... Hope you all are well and enjoying the freedom of thought!
Thursday, July 8, 2010
very very late... :(
well actually in the states i'm not that late hahah. but here in hk it's already thursday night, so i'm two nights late :(
anyway, today hasn't been very good :( i didn't do my quiet time today even though i definitely had enough time. i fasted from my laptop today so that i would spend more time with my family, and ended up spending time with my sister playing guitar with her, so that was nice :) but i ended up napping and then just wasting time instead of doing my quiet time. i really need to fight for that singular passion for God. i've been realizing lately, especially now that i'm home and a lot of my weaknesses and faults are becoming more obvious, that i live under a lot of idols. i don't have a singular passion for God; instead i make life about a lot of other different things and i worry and chase after worldly things. i don't trust in God, i don't rest in him the way i should.
anyway, i wanted to share with you my quiet time from yesterday because God really spoke to me through jeremiah 2-3.
jeremiah 2 talked a lot about how life without God is completely miserable:
v. 5: They followed worthless idols
and became worthless themselves.
i was talking to a pre-Christian friend the other day, and she asked me, "what makes you so sure that obeying God/living for him is the best way for you to live?" and as i was trying to answer her, i realized that what really makes me so sure is that God has convinced me utterly that life with him, a life of obedience, living within the lines he's drawn out for me through his laws, is truly life in abundance. he's convinced me utterly of his existence and his love for me, and this is my response to him. jeremiah 2 was a really good reminder for that.
in jeremiah 3, i really liked verse 22:
22 "Return, faithless people;
I will cure you of backsliding."
"Yes, we will come to you,
for you are the LORD our God."
i feel like this is such a beautiful dialogue between God and the Israelites. God says to them, i know you've been faithless, but all you have to do is come back to me, and i'll take your weaknesses and show my strength through them; i'll cure you of your backsliding. and then the Israelites answer: "Yes, we'll come back. we know you and you alone love us this much, and you are the best thing for us in this entire world."
in matthew, i've also been learning a lot about the importance of faith. Jesus tells almost every person he heals, "your faith heals you." or something along those lines. it's not like Jesus could possibly be limited by the amount of faith someone has, but i think Jesus' saying this every time demonstrates how much importance God places on faith in a person's life. i know the Bible defines faith as being confident of what we cannot see, and i think that once you acknowledge God's existence and his right over you as lord of your life and creator of everything in this world, you give him the permission to do his work in your life.
i've also been praying through the psalms (rather inconsistently... :( ) and yesterday, i prayed through psalm 4.
6 Many are asking, "Who can show us any good?"
Let the light of your face shine upon us, O LORD.
7 You have filled my heart with greater joy
than when their grain and new wine abound.
8 I will lie down and sleep in peace,
for you alone, O LORD,
make me dwell in safety.
Lord, i ask that you would take my life, and take the lives of all my sisters as well, and truly let the light of your face shine upon us. thoroughly convince us of how utterly you deserve to be first in our lives, how utterly obedience unto you is truly the way to live, how your joy and your providence is all we need in this life. God, as we live this out, as we offer ourselves to you as living sacrifices, i pray that you will utterly convince us that your will is good, perfect and pleasing. and then may those around us who are seeking for something more to this life, may those of us who ask "who can show us any good?" see the extraordinariness of our lives, and be captured by that glimpse of you they see in us, and be drawn into a life of abundance with you as well.
ok. must sleep. ><
loveee you girls!!! one more month until i'm back. so much and so little time, all at the same instant hahah
anyway, today hasn't been very good :( i didn't do my quiet time today even though i definitely had enough time. i fasted from my laptop today so that i would spend more time with my family, and ended up spending time with my sister playing guitar with her, so that was nice :) but i ended up napping and then just wasting time instead of doing my quiet time. i really need to fight for that singular passion for God. i've been realizing lately, especially now that i'm home and a lot of my weaknesses and faults are becoming more obvious, that i live under a lot of idols. i don't have a singular passion for God; instead i make life about a lot of other different things and i worry and chase after worldly things. i don't trust in God, i don't rest in him the way i should.
anyway, i wanted to share with you my quiet time from yesterday because God really spoke to me through jeremiah 2-3.
jeremiah 2 talked a lot about how life without God is completely miserable:
v. 5: They followed worthless idols
and became worthless themselves.
i was talking to a pre-Christian friend the other day, and she asked me, "what makes you so sure that obeying God/living for him is the best way for you to live?" and as i was trying to answer her, i realized that what really makes me so sure is that God has convinced me utterly that life with him, a life of obedience, living within the lines he's drawn out for me through his laws, is truly life in abundance. he's convinced me utterly of his existence and his love for me, and this is my response to him. jeremiah 2 was a really good reminder for that.
in jeremiah 3, i really liked verse 22:
22 "Return, faithless people;
I will cure you of backsliding."
"Yes, we will come to you,
for you are the LORD our God."
i feel like this is such a beautiful dialogue between God and the Israelites. God says to them, i know you've been faithless, but all you have to do is come back to me, and i'll take your weaknesses and show my strength through them; i'll cure you of your backsliding. and then the Israelites answer: "Yes, we'll come back. we know you and you alone love us this much, and you are the best thing for us in this entire world."
in matthew, i've also been learning a lot about the importance of faith. Jesus tells almost every person he heals, "your faith heals you." or something along those lines. it's not like Jesus could possibly be limited by the amount of faith someone has, but i think Jesus' saying this every time demonstrates how much importance God places on faith in a person's life. i know the Bible defines faith as being confident of what we cannot see, and i think that once you acknowledge God's existence and his right over you as lord of your life and creator of everything in this world, you give him the permission to do his work in your life.
i've also been praying through the psalms (rather inconsistently... :( ) and yesterday, i prayed through psalm 4.
6 Many are asking, "Who can show us any good?"
Let the light of your face shine upon us, O LORD.
7 You have filled my heart with greater joy
than when their grain and new wine abound.
8 I will lie down and sleep in peace,
for you alone, O LORD,
make me dwell in safety.
Lord, i ask that you would take my life, and take the lives of all my sisters as well, and truly let the light of your face shine upon us. thoroughly convince us of how utterly you deserve to be first in our lives, how utterly obedience unto you is truly the way to live, how your joy and your providence is all we need in this life. God, as we live this out, as we offer ourselves to you as living sacrifices, i pray that you will utterly convince us that your will is good, perfect and pleasing. and then may those around us who are seeking for something more to this life, may those of us who ask "who can show us any good?" see the extraordinariness of our lives, and be captured by that glimpse of you they see in us, and be drawn into a life of abundance with you as well.
ok. must sleep. ><
loveee you girls!!! one more month until i'm back. so much and so little time, all at the same instant hahah
Saturday, July 3, 2010
Sav on Saturday
This will unfortunately be short as I am very tired and have an important phone call to make before it gets too late.
I've been reading this book called "Becoming a Vessel God Can Use" by Donna Partow. I actually went with her on a mission trip to Peru several years ago, and I found her to be a very prophetic, spirit-filled woman. The first week of devotions in the book dealt with "understanding how and why God uses imperfect vessels."
I really liked the week's focus verse from Isaiah 55:8-9. At one point, I had that chapter memorized. "'For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,' declares the Lord. 'As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.'"
I tend to forget just how much higher God's plans and thoughts are than mine! I think that mine are the real deal, the final word. But they're not, thank goodness! God has a plan to use an imperfect vessel like me because that will bring Him glory. Rather than pointing at me and praising me, others will realize that in my weakness, only God could have used such faults to bring good to the world.
What a relief it is to realize that I do not have to be perfect! I do not even have to be confident. God used Gideon, an insecure, insignificant man/boy to save Israel from the Midianites. Gideon was criticized for his insistence on what God told him, but God does not depend on the support of others to accomplish His plan. Another relief!
So anyways, sorry I have nothing profound to share this week! I traveled with my family to Tennessee to visit relatives on Thursday. We'll be down here until the 14th, and after that, I start my job at Borders (yay!). It's been a bit of a crazy week for several reasons, the main one being a few friendships and relationships I am juggling and trying to figure out. I'll probably elaborate more at another point. Really, I haven't done much besides hang out with family!
I hope ya'll are doing well! Love and miss you.
I've been reading this book called "Becoming a Vessel God Can Use" by Donna Partow. I actually went with her on a mission trip to Peru several years ago, and I found her to be a very prophetic, spirit-filled woman. The first week of devotions in the book dealt with "understanding how and why God uses imperfect vessels."
I really liked the week's focus verse from Isaiah 55:8-9. At one point, I had that chapter memorized. "'For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,' declares the Lord. 'As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.'"
I tend to forget just how much higher God's plans and thoughts are than mine! I think that mine are the real deal, the final word. But they're not, thank goodness! God has a plan to use an imperfect vessel like me because that will bring Him glory. Rather than pointing at me and praising me, others will realize that in my weakness, only God could have used such faults to bring good to the world.
What a relief it is to realize that I do not have to be perfect! I do not even have to be confident. God used Gideon, an insecure, insignificant man/boy to save Israel from the Midianites. Gideon was criticized for his insistence on what God told him, but God does not depend on the support of others to accomplish His plan. Another relief!
So anyways, sorry I have nothing profound to share this week! I traveled with my family to Tennessee to visit relatives on Thursday. We'll be down here until the 14th, and after that, I start my job at Borders (yay!). It's been a bit of a crazy week for several reasons, the main one being a few friendships and relationships I am juggling and trying to figure out. I'll probably elaborate more at another point. Really, I haven't done much besides hang out with family!
I hope ya'll are doing well! Love and miss you.
Thursday, July 1, 2010
oopsie...late again!
I've gotta say, though, it's really cool that we've been able to keep this blog up all the way into July!
I've been reflecting a lot on my pride lately, especially spiritual pride and how it impedes a proper attitude of service within the church. I really liked this passage in Isaiah--I'm still about a month behind in the BRP. The language is pretty strong and definitely rebuked me.
"O LORD, you will ordain peace for us,
for indeed, all that we have done,
you have done for us...
Like a woman with child,
who writhes and cries out in her pangs
when she is near her time,
so were we because of you, O LORD;
we were with child, we writhed,
but we gave birth only to wind.
We have no victories on earth,
and no one is born to inhabit the world."
-Isaiah 26: 12, 16-18
Similarly to what Shelby said, I too often follow God half-heartedly, keeping my plans as a back-up in case what He has for me "doesn't work out"...or more often, keeping God's plans as a back-up because I think I know what's best for me. I'm just realizing again lately how me-centered I am and my life is. Even self-consciousness or attempted modesty are really disguised pride because they're still very centered on myself and not on what God can do.
So I think a few things really struck me about this passage:
1. That everything "I" have done, has really been God, so I should stop trying to take credit for it.
2. That, like a woman in labor, I have struggled and tried to hard to do things on my own, but in the end it all results in nothing ("gave birth only to wind") if God didn't ordain those plans.
3. God will "ordain peace for us" if we follow His plans.
I know this stuff, but I think I still struggle to believe it and place my life on it. I feel like there have been a lot of those sorts of things this summer. I pray that as I have a lot of free time on my hands over these next months, I will really use it to discover more of God's character, and really dig beyond the surface level of what I know to find out what I really believe.
The update is pretty brief here. I spent the weekend at home which was really nice. I spent a lot of quality time with family and the family at my home church. Then Monday and Tuesday my mom and I took a trip up to Grayling and stayed at the cabin of one of the members of our church. It was very relaxing and we had a lot of good convos.
Today, I met with my LCG in the Arb and then decided to stay for a bit of a personal retreat...except I fell asleep for like 2 hours after reflecting for a bit. Oh well. It was relaxing and I got to enjoy the beautiful weather!
holllllllllllllla
ok this week has gone by SO SLOW oh my gosh i can't even wrap my mind around it hahahaa. anyway ummmm i leave tuesday for my trip and im getting excited and i basically am just working until then, both my parents are out of town so its kind of boring/lonely but oh well....my life is really boring since all i do is work so sorry there is nothing new except me complaining about work. Well actually yesterday arlene came and visited me..we went on a 13 mile bike ride downtown and it was really nice seeing her again :)
i have been really trying to trust God more lately and just keep in mind that his plans are greater than my own and that he wants me to suceed and as i continue reading my bible, there is one verse that reminded me of what i need to work on and that is 1 Corinthians 1:8 it says he will keep you strong to the end, so that you will be blameless on the day of our Lord Jesus Christ. Now i dont think that is what they are talking about but I felt a sense of relief when i read he will keep you strong until the end. So i'm guessing that means something :)
i have been really trying to trust God more lately and just keep in mind that his plans are greater than my own and that he wants me to suceed and as i continue reading my bible, there is one verse that reminded me of what i need to work on and that is 1 Corinthians 1:8 it says he will keep you strong to the end, so that you will be blameless on the day of our Lord Jesus Christ. Now i dont think that is what they are talking about but I felt a sense of relief when i read he will keep you strong until the end. So i'm guessing that means something :)
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Messy Monday ... x2 .. on Wednesday? FAIL.
Hey girls,
Oy vey, it’s been so long since I posted on here! I really am so sorry about that. I have a very long list detailing why I didn’t post last week (or on time this week), but really they’re all just stupid excuses. The truth is that I didn’t feel like posting, and I just couldn’t make myself do it.
I have, however, been getting better about reading my Bible and spending time in reflection everyday, so that’s happy. So a passage that really stuck out to me recently was 1 Peter 1:8-9: “…And though not seeing Him now, you believe in Him and rejoice with inexpressible joy, because you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls.” So, I usually find it pretty hard to have blind faith. I like to think that I have constant faith, but truthfully, I really like to keep my own self-produced, self-sufficient plan as a back-up, just in case. This is not the way faith works. I should be praising and trusting in God, not contemplating what-ifs.
So what’ve I been up to these past two weeks, you may ask? Well, I’ve been quite busy actually. When I last updated you guys (via email, not even actually on the blog), I was in Southern California, headed to San Francisco. Since then: I went to San Fran, on a day it was actually sunny and completely beautiful; watched one of my favorite uncles get married in Long Beach, CA; went swimming; got a tan/sunburn; visited my cousin in Laguna Beach; flew back to Michigan; spent a day and a half overcoming the jet lag; visited high school friends; packed my life into the back of the car to come to the biostation; came to the biostation; met some awesome people; went to my first class yesterday; went to Mackinaw today to learn about forests; and am continuing to hang out with said awesome people. Yup, things are going pretty well up here at camp. Except, even though I’m only an hour from home, I’m a little bit homesick. I know it’s probably just because I’m in a new place, but I feel like I’m going to be tempted to go home any time I have a day off (which is three days a week). I mean, this isn’t necessarily a bad thing, because I want to spend time with my family and friends in Charlevoix, but I want to become a part of the community here, too. Sighhhhh. I’m sure I’ll be fine in a few days. It’s just kind of weird right now because classes haven’t really picked up yet, so I feel much more like I’m at summer camp than at college.
Anyway, that’s enough about me. I hope you all are doing well. I love and miss you all and continue to keep you in my prayers!
<3 Shelby
p.s. Sorry this isn't all that long, but I really don't like trying to find internet here at the biostation, so yeah. See y'all next week. :)
Oy vey, it’s been so long since I posted on here! I really am so sorry about that. I have a very long list detailing why I didn’t post last week (or on time this week), but really they’re all just stupid excuses. The truth is that I didn’t feel like posting, and I just couldn’t make myself do it.
I have, however, been getting better about reading my Bible and spending time in reflection everyday, so that’s happy. So a passage that really stuck out to me recently was 1 Peter 1:8-9: “…And though not seeing Him now, you believe in Him and rejoice with inexpressible joy, because you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls.” So, I usually find it pretty hard to have blind faith. I like to think that I have constant faith, but truthfully, I really like to keep my own self-produced, self-sufficient plan as a back-up, just in case. This is not the way faith works. I should be praising and trusting in God, not contemplating what-ifs.
So what’ve I been up to these past two weeks, you may ask? Well, I’ve been quite busy actually. When I last updated you guys (via email, not even actually on the blog), I was in Southern California, headed to San Francisco. Since then: I went to San Fran, on a day it was actually sunny and completely beautiful; watched one of my favorite uncles get married in Long Beach, CA; went swimming; got a tan/sunburn; visited my cousin in Laguna Beach; flew back to Michigan; spent a day and a half overcoming the jet lag; visited high school friends; packed my life into the back of the car to come to the biostation; came to the biostation; met some awesome people; went to my first class yesterday; went to Mackinaw today to learn about forests; and am continuing to hang out with said awesome people. Yup, things are going pretty well up here at camp. Except, even though I’m only an hour from home, I’m a little bit homesick. I know it’s probably just because I’m in a new place, but I feel like I’m going to be tempted to go home any time I have a day off (which is three days a week). I mean, this isn’t necessarily a bad thing, because I want to spend time with my family and friends in Charlevoix, but I want to become a part of the community here, too. Sighhhhh. I’m sure I’ll be fine in a few days. It’s just kind of weird right now because classes haven’t really picked up yet, so I feel much more like I’m at summer camp than at college.
Anyway, that’s enough about me. I hope you all are doing well. I love and miss you all and continue to keep you in my prayers!
<3 Shelby
p.s. Sorry this isn't all that long, but I really don't like trying to find internet here at the biostation, so yeah. See y'all next week. :)
alas! again i am late :(
hey girls! :) sorry i'm typing up this post so late. i was going to update this earlier today but i had to head out so this is the first chance i got to really sit down, read the Bible and gather my thoughts together and blog.
today's BRP matthew 10 really spoke to me about going out and preaching God's word to the nations.
7As you go, preach this message: 'The kingdom of heaven is near.' 8Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse those who have leprosy,[b]drive out demons. Freely you have received, freely give.
26"So do not be afraid of them. There is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known. 27What I tell you in the dark, speak in the daylight; what is whispered in your ear, proclaim from the roofs.
these two verses remind me of what we talked about when we were reading through the passage about the sower (mark 4), when Jesus talked about how a lamp should be put on a stand instead of just in a bowl, and about how what was hidden will now be brought to the light. and it really reminds me that my testimony, what God has been teaching me, even the Gospel, are all things that are meant to be shared. i pray for opportunities and the boldness to share my testimony here, at home.
28Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell. 29Are not two sparrows sold for a penny[d]? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. 30And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. 31So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.
this passage always is a good reminder to me, hahaha. i was reading the beginning of this book my friend recommended to me (it's called out of the saltshaker and into the world or something like that, i think; i'll let you know when i'm done with it whether it's good or not hahah), and the author was talking about how she was really afraid to share the gospel with people at first, but then she came to realize that this was because she feared man. the person she really should be fearing is God, and once she realized that, she could share the gospel more freely and boldly.
ok, this post is getting kind of long hahaha. i'll conclude with one last thing :) today i think God kind of rebuked me. i was cooking lunch for myself, and i realized midway through cooking for myself that i should probably cook for my sister as well. i knew that she could do basic things like heat up water and make instant noodles, and i also knew that my brother would never cook for her. but i was really lazy, so i fixed something really quick for myself, and then i sat down and started eating. then midway through eating, i realized that hey, if my sister were instead a newcomer to our life group, or even someone i was trying to get to know from the dorms or some other place, i would NEVER, EVER have let her cook for herself like that. i would have jumped at the chance to serve her, to show her God's love through my actions. and that was when i realized, this is my problem. i don't have a ministry mindset here at home. this will make me sound so spoiled, but honestly what i needed, my mom gave me, when i was back home. i rarely thought about serving other people, much less my siblings. but how much of a hypocrite am i, if i won't even do something so small for my siblings?
i've been complaining about how i don't know how to reach out to my brother and sister, i don't know how to get them to play with me instead of staring at their own computer screens. i've been complaining about how i don't know how to engage my parents. if this were ann arbor, and this were my life group/my hall for the coming year, i know that i would be trying to figure out what they would like to do, and trying to serve them and engage them, and i would be praying for them a lot, and i would be pouring myself out to them. i haven't been doing that here at all. and today God was really, really strongly convicting me of that, hahaha. ok. tomorrow i'm fasting from my laptop. and my parents are also not going to work! hahaha. because it's Independence Day here in HK. pray for me girls :) pray that i will be able to spend really, really good time with my family. that i will try really hard to get to know them. to reach out to them.
today's BRP matthew 10 really spoke to me about going out and preaching God's word to the nations.
7As you go, preach this message: 'The kingdom of heaven is near.' 8Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse those who have leprosy,[b]drive out demons. Freely you have received, freely give.
26"So do not be afraid of them. There is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known. 27What I tell you in the dark, speak in the daylight; what is whispered in your ear, proclaim from the roofs.
these two verses remind me of what we talked about when we were reading through the passage about the sower (mark 4), when Jesus talked about how a lamp should be put on a stand instead of just in a bowl, and about how what was hidden will now be brought to the light. and it really reminds me that my testimony, what God has been teaching me, even the Gospel, are all things that are meant to be shared. i pray for opportunities and the boldness to share my testimony here, at home.
28Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell. 29Are not two sparrows sold for a penny[d]? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. 30And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. 31So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.
this passage always is a good reminder to me, hahaha. i was reading the beginning of this book my friend recommended to me (it's called out of the saltshaker and into the world or something like that, i think; i'll let you know when i'm done with it whether it's good or not hahah), and the author was talking about how she was really afraid to share the gospel with people at first, but then she came to realize that this was because she feared man. the person she really should be fearing is God, and once she realized that, she could share the gospel more freely and boldly.
ok, this post is getting kind of long hahaha. i'll conclude with one last thing :) today i think God kind of rebuked me. i was cooking lunch for myself, and i realized midway through cooking for myself that i should probably cook for my sister as well. i knew that she could do basic things like heat up water and make instant noodles, and i also knew that my brother would never cook for her. but i was really lazy, so i fixed something really quick for myself, and then i sat down and started eating. then midway through eating, i realized that hey, if my sister were instead a newcomer to our life group, or even someone i was trying to get to know from the dorms or some other place, i would NEVER, EVER have let her cook for herself like that. i would have jumped at the chance to serve her, to show her God's love through my actions. and that was when i realized, this is my problem. i don't have a ministry mindset here at home. this will make me sound so spoiled, but honestly what i needed, my mom gave me, when i was back home. i rarely thought about serving other people, much less my siblings. but how much of a hypocrite am i, if i won't even do something so small for my siblings?
i've been complaining about how i don't know how to reach out to my brother and sister, i don't know how to get them to play with me instead of staring at their own computer screens. i've been complaining about how i don't know how to engage my parents. if this were ann arbor, and this were my life group/my hall for the coming year, i know that i would be trying to figure out what they would like to do, and trying to serve them and engage them, and i would be praying for them a lot, and i would be pouring myself out to them. i haven't been doing that here at all. and today God was really, really strongly convicting me of that, hahaha. ok. tomorrow i'm fasting from my laptop. and my parents are also not going to work! hahaha. because it's Independence Day here in HK. pray for me girls :) pray that i will be able to spend really, really good time with my family. that i will try really hard to get to know them. to reach out to them.
Monday, June 28, 2010
tacky....
hi...i know i missed last week and im bordering on missing this week but im posting! ahhh so tacky i know i know
anywhoo, its been busier lately preparing for summer missinos (we had our first day in detroit today!) and also i had a visit from my BFF last weekend which was a lot of fun, but threw me off in terms of posting on the bloggie.
this past week was pretty hard for me. its kind of funny because i say that pretty much every week, but honestly u guys...I think God has really broken me all spring term long. the hits just kept coming. this past week, i realized how selfish i am in regards to how i treat older sisters in my life... i tend to take advantage of them and expect them to be there for me all the time whenever i want. i got into a few arguments with a few of them recently, and through it all, i just realize how ugly i am. this is good though! because without udnerstanding the depth of my sin, i would not really appreciate or understand how much i need a savior aka JESUS to cleanse my sins!!!
here is a great passage that kept popping up to me this past week... both in personal times and also during the sermon on sunday!
16 “This is the new covenant I will make
with my people on that day,[c] says the Lord:
I will put my laws in their hearts,
and I will write them on their minds.”[d]
17 Then he says,
“I will never again remember
their sins and lawless deeds.”[e]
18 And when sins have been forgiven, there is no need to offer any more sacrifices.
people used to donate like lambs or animals as sacrifice for their sins but it wasn't enough and so jesus dies as the ultimate sacrifice. and this is a NEW covenant. God totally forgives us for our sins and all he asks us is that we continue not to sin anymore. I think if we are able to understand the magnitude of Jesus sacrifice then we wont sin any longer...
ok i have to go now i love u all! <3
anywhoo, its been busier lately preparing for summer missinos (we had our first day in detroit today!) and also i had a visit from my BFF last weekend which was a lot of fun, but threw me off in terms of posting on the bloggie.
this past week was pretty hard for me. its kind of funny because i say that pretty much every week, but honestly u guys...I think God has really broken me all spring term long. the hits just kept coming. this past week, i realized how selfish i am in regards to how i treat older sisters in my life... i tend to take advantage of them and expect them to be there for me all the time whenever i want. i got into a few arguments with a few of them recently, and through it all, i just realize how ugly i am. this is good though! because without udnerstanding the depth of my sin, i would not really appreciate or understand how much i need a savior aka JESUS to cleanse my sins!!!
here is a great passage that kept popping up to me this past week... both in personal times and also during the sermon on sunday!
16 “This is the new covenant I will make
with my people on that day,[c] says the Lord:
I will put my laws in their hearts,
and I will write them on their minds.”[d]
17 Then he says,
“I will never again remember
their sins and lawless deeds.”[e]
18 And when sins have been forgiven, there is no need to offer any more sacrifices.
people used to donate like lambs or animals as sacrifice for their sins but it wasn't enough and so jesus dies as the ultimate sacrifice. and this is a NEW covenant. God totally forgives us for our sins and all he asks us is that we continue not to sin anymore. I think if we are able to understand the magnitude of Jesus sacrifice then we wont sin any longer...
ok i have to go now i love u all! <3
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Sav on Saturday
I'm working through both Proverbs and Matthew right now. I just finished the Psalms, so I haven't read very much of Proverbs yet.
One of my favorite Psalms is 139.
"Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out,
you formed me in my mother's womb.
I thank you, High God - you're breathtaking!
Body and soul, I am marvelously made!
I worship in adoration - what a creation!
You know me inside and out,
you know every bone in my body;
You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit,
how I was sculpted from nothing into something.
Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth;
all the stages of my life were spread out before you,
The days of my life all prepared
before I'd even lived one day." (Psalm 139:13-16)
Isn't that just beautiful? I was reading it, and I realized just how much God loves and adores me. I have not been treating myself like a precious child of God. I have been treating myself with hatred and cruelty. Carol helped me realize that treating myself like that is putting a barrier between me and God. It is very hard to fully love God when I cannot love His creation. Thus I made a vow on Monday to not hurt myself anymore, and to forgive myself if I fail and let God pick me up again. It's going to be hard, I'm not naive, but I trust in God to help me and give me the strength that I need.
This week has been far better than the past few weeks. I finally got a job at Borders!!! I'm starting July 15th after my family gets back from a vacation in Tennessee. It should last during the school year as well. My friend and I went out for ice cream to celebrate, so that definitely made me happy. :) Please keep both my sister and I in prayer. We're both adjusting to new medication and experiencing withdrawl from the old ones, so our house is pretty tense lately. Other than that, it has been rather well!
I hope ya'll are having wonderful weeks too!
One of my favorite Psalms is 139.
"Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out,
you formed me in my mother's womb.
I thank you, High God - you're breathtaking!
Body and soul, I am marvelously made!
I worship in adoration - what a creation!
You know me inside and out,
you know every bone in my body;
You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit,
how I was sculpted from nothing into something.
Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth;
all the stages of my life were spread out before you,
The days of my life all prepared
before I'd even lived one day." (Psalm 139:13-16)
Isn't that just beautiful? I was reading it, and I realized just how much God loves and adores me. I have not been treating myself like a precious child of God. I have been treating myself with hatred and cruelty. Carol helped me realize that treating myself like that is putting a barrier between me and God. It is very hard to fully love God when I cannot love His creation. Thus I made a vow on Monday to not hurt myself anymore, and to forgive myself if I fail and let God pick me up again. It's going to be hard, I'm not naive, but I trust in God to help me and give me the strength that I need.
This week has been far better than the past few weeks. I finally got a job at Borders!!! I'm starting July 15th after my family gets back from a vacation in Tennessee. It should last during the school year as well. My friend and I went out for ice cream to celebrate, so that definitely made me happy. :) Please keep both my sister and I in prayer. We're both adjusting to new medication and experiencing withdrawl from the old ones, so our house is pretty tense lately. Other than that, it has been rather well!
I hope ya'll are having wonderful weeks too!
Thursday, June 24, 2010
about that....
yea guys sorry i didn't post last week....so to update everyone, i feel like God has been really blessing my family lately, my mom had an interview for a new job and she said it went great. normally she gets really nervous and timid but after praying for herself (and i did too!) she said that she didnt even know where half her answers came from. also, i feel like reaching out to God lately about my future has really been helping, i feel like im making progress which is exciting. speedway is getting better, the time goes by faster now.....AMEN! hahah anyway, ummm i'm also going to boston soon to visit dalbert and im really excited about that too.
i'm continuing with romans 14 the whole passage is about equality when it comes to christianity...not equality as in everyone is at the same level but as in how christians treat other christians. since we are all serving the greater good, it is important to not belittle others' faith and to respect them because this is pleasing to God. There really wasnt a specific verse or anything that stuck out to me but really the whole passage. Alot of times i justify my actions based on the fact that people have "lower" faith than i do. I often rationalize to myself "well if they can do (something) out of their "lower, less involved" faith and God still loves them then i can because I have a "better" relationship with Christ. That sounds soo mean and I'm not sure if it really made sense...but that's how i think...so yeah
i'm continuing with romans 14 the whole passage is about equality when it comes to christianity...not equality as in everyone is at the same level but as in how christians treat other christians. since we are all serving the greater good, it is important to not belittle others' faith and to respect them because this is pleasing to God. There really wasnt a specific verse or anything that stuck out to me but really the whole passage. Alot of times i justify my actions based on the fact that people have "lower" faith than i do. I often rationalize to myself "well if they can do (something) out of their "lower, less involved" faith and God still loves them then i can because I have a "better" relationship with Christ. That sounds soo mean and I'm not sure if it really made sense...but that's how i think...so yeah
"Wednesday"
I guess I'm using my "192-hour grace" since I should've last posted--God's grace is limitless, right?
Sorry for my extreme tackiness in regards to this blog. I've honestly just been struggling a lot lately, I think especially just doubts in regards to how much I agree with HMCC's vision have made me question whether or not to stay at the church which to some extent brings a sense of compromise either way...but for now, I've decided to stay, and continue to try to challenge my beliefs as they stand and see if they hold strong. I know this is all kind of vague. I intended to address it a little in the post from two weeks ago that I only half-finished, but I think there's still some further reflection I need to go through first.
But, in this post, I want to focus not on doubts but on how to maintain a consistent and intimate relationship with God despite that.
So, I've hinted at this a little in my past few posts, but the one thing that has kept me totally in awe of God and thus safe from complete struggle lately has been this amazing wonder at his sovereignty and perfect timing. I know this all sounds so cliche, but I feel like just as I had completely written out having a father figure in my life, just as I had put that relationship completely in the past and established a compromised identity of only child from a single-parent family, God sovereignly placed my father back in my life. And slowly too, because He knew I would struggle. But he used these past two years to challenge me to let my father back into my life and to learn to love him and accept his role in my life (even in shaping my past). And even though I struggled against it so much and never really believed it was completely possible for me to do either, God continued to challenge me. As I shared a few weeks ago, I met my father for the first time in 10 years. This past weekend, I met with him and his fiancee again as well as my youngest half-sister for the first time.
While these relationships are still flawed and I can't say I have the same pure love for my dad that I have for my sister, I have just been so amazed at God. I feel like I've always strayed away from Hollywood endings for my family. Though throughout my life I've always consciously or unconsciously wanted a father or siblings, I figured I would never have them, and so I desensitized myself to that desire, and was left only with a vague sort of envy at those who took for granted turning to their father's for advice, meeting up with them over a meal, etc. and meeting up with their sisters all in one place. I think I still feel like I'm leading this double life because even in it's stark reality, this and the things to come are so far from what I ever imagined. My other sister, Audrey, also just moved back to Michigan (to Bay City, very close to Saginaw) this summer after living in Minnesota, and that too is just another link in God's timing.
Sorry to ramble on, but I guess I just really wanted to share that testimony of God's goodness in my life. Despite my serious lack of faithfulness these past few weeks, and I guess over a life time, God has been infinitely faithful.
I'll try to be brief on this last part, but I want to share a piece of our bible study at life group last night that is related to the idea of wonder. The Message paraphrase of Galatians 3:2-6 is this:
"Let me put this question to you: How did your new life begin? Was it by working your heads off to please God? Or was it by responding to God's Message to you? Are you going to continue this craziness? For only crazy people would think they could complete by their own efforts what was begun by God. If you weren't smart enough or strong enough to begin it, how do you suppose you could perfect it? Did you go through this whole painful learning process for nothing? It is not yet a total loss, but it certainly will be if you keep this up!
Answer this question: Does the God who lavishly provides you with his own presence, his Holy Spirit, working things in your lives you could never do for yourselves, does he do these things because of your strenuous moral striving or because you trust him to do them in you? Don't these things happen among you just as they happened with Abraham? He believed God, and that act of belief was turned into a life that was right with God."
I feel like Paul is speaking as much to me as the Galatians here. Even though I began my Christian walk in wonder of God and even times like now, I come back to that wonder, I so quickly trade it for my own self-sufficiency and independence again. Honestly, it's as if I'm saying, "God you've been good, but not good enough." In relation to this passage, we talked a lot last night about the relationship between wonder and fear. Fear is definitely the conditioned form of wonder. Both deal with the unknown, but where wonder promotes a sense of curiosity at what's unknown and a sense of trust that whatever comes will be good, fear brings with it worry and anxiety which are ultimately attempts to try to control what comes next, not believing that it could be purely good. Similarly, in our walks with God, sometimes we are in a state of wonder of what comes next for us, but more often we fear the unknown and try to control it by our own means rather than just trusting Him and we pay the price for it in feeling far from Him.
Ultimately, I think it really comes down to what Pastor Pete wrote in the weekly email that was sent out today: "We are at this moment as close to God as we really choose to be. True, there are times when we would like to know a deeper intimacy, but when it comes to the point, we are not prepared to pay the price involved." - J. Oswald Sander I think we try to gain intimacy with God by our own efforts--praying, reading the Bible, etc.--and we think that if we do these things and still don't connect with God, we're failing. But we are so emotionally conditioned. We think always in terms of "feeling close to God" even though He is always close to us. I think sometimes what we really need in order to restore our faith is not action--though I don't discount that you can find God again through continuing routine--but wonder and an ability to just sit still with God, in thankfulness of His work in your life, reflecting on how He has moved you in the past, remembering the truths of his character...
Heavenly Father, I lift up Shelby, Erica, Elizabeth, Amanda, Carol, Savannah, Abel, and Martha to you. Even from many of their posts and conversations with them, I sense that as a community we are struggling to see you Lord, struggling to find your clear presence and even direction in our lives. We question why you have brought us by certain paths, why we've had to feel so much hurt, why no matter what we do, we can't seem to get as close to you as we desire. I pray that this week, this summer, we would be able to come back to a child-like sense of wonder, Lord, that we may be able to see our lives not as our own, but in your hands. Your hands that have never released us from your embrace. May we be able to thank you, Lord, for your sovereignty and guidance. We try so hard to reach up far enough to connect with you, but you've had your arms stretched out to us all along.
I pray too that this community would grow in intimacy too. Not that we are each independently struggling or growing, but that we would be able to testify to each other of your work in our lives as well as our questions and doubts and support each other in everything. Guide our footsteps, our every action. We love you. We trust you. We praise you. Amen :)
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
again utilizing the 24-hour grace period...
hey girls :)
today i read isaiah 54-55 in conjunction, and i really encourage you to read through these two chapters on your own, they are really beautiful.
1 "Sing, O barren woman,
you who never bore a child;
burst into song, shout for joy,
you who were never in labor;
because more are the children of the desolate woman
than of her who has a husband,"
says the LORD.
isaiah 54 starts out with this promise, and in romans paul explains that this verse is talking about how sarah (abraham's wife), the "barren woman", bore more children than hagar, the slave woman, because all of us who believe in Jesus by faith and who have been saved are also sarah's children.
the rest of the chapter goes on to talk about how God is going to call israel back to home the way a husband would call back "deserted and distressed in spirit", a widow. it seems as though God has abandoned Israel, but he will come back.
8 In a surge of anger
I hid my face from you for a moment,
but with everlasting kindness
I will have compassion on you,"
says the LORD your Redeemer.
9 "To me this is like the days of Noah,
when I swore that the waters of Noah would never again cover the earth.
So now I have sworn not to be angry with you,
never to rebuke you again.
10 Though the mountains be shaken
and the hills be removed,
yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken
nor my covenant of peace be removed,"
says the LORD, who has compassion on you.
i don't know if this is necessarily the right way for me to read this chapter, but i read it as a dual promise, both for the Jews after they come back from exile, and for those Gentiles who will be brought into the family through their faith in Christ. and i just read through matthew henry (really famous Christian who wrote a really famous commentary on the Bible hahah)'s commentary on Isaiah, and he agrees with me so i guess that is how this chapter should be read hahah.
11 "O afflicted city, lashed by storms and not comforted,
I will build you with stones of turquoise, [a]
your foundations with sapphires. [b]
12 I will make your battlements of rubies,
your gates of sparkling jewels,
and all your walls of precious stones.
i feel like this part is almost talking about heaven, because that's how the New Jerusalem is described in Revelation, with 12 foundations laid by 12 different types of precious stones, and 12 pearl gates (that's where the Pearly Gates of Heaven come from i guess hahaha), and streets of gold.
most of all, i absolutely love the last part of ch. 54
14 In righteousness you will be established:
Tyranny will be far from you;
you will have nothing to fear.
Terror will be far removed;
it will not come near you.
15 If anyone does attack you, it will not be my doing;
whoever attacks you will surrender to you.
16 "See, it is I who created the blacksmith
who fans the coals into flame
and forges a weapon fit for its work.
And it is I who have created the destroyer to work havoc;
17 no weapon forged against you will prevail,
and you will refute every tongue that accuses you.
This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD,
and this is their vindication from me,"
declares the LORD.
i think this promise is absolutely beautiful. God is saying, you know what, i created satan. i created the materials used to make weapons against you. therefore, i am more powerful, and so you don't need to be afraid. nothing forged against you will ever prevail. that is such a beautiful promise, hahaha.
since this post is getting really long i won't comment too much on ch. 55, except to say that it is basically an invitation to anyone who is thirsty or hungry to come to God and have their hunger be satisfied.
10 As the rain and the snow
come down from heaven,
and do not return to it
without watering the earth
and making it bud and flourish,
so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,
11 so is my word that goes out from my mouth:
It will not return to me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire
and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.
12 You will go out in joy
and be led forth in peace;
the mountains and hills
will burst into song before you,
and all the trees of the field
will clap their hands.
Lord, i want to pray for carol, lizz, shelby, martha, savanna, amanda, elizabeth. i pray that as we seek you through your word this summer, your word will accomplish its purpose in our lives, and allow us to understand you better and to love you more. may we have an insatiable hunger to want to understand and know you better, and may you encourage, rebuke, build up, exhort, teach, or do whatever you please as we spend time with you daily. :)
today i read isaiah 54-55 in conjunction, and i really encourage you to read through these two chapters on your own, they are really beautiful.
1 "Sing, O barren woman,
you who never bore a child;
burst into song, shout for joy,
you who were never in labor;
because more are the children of the desolate woman
than of her who has a husband,"
says the LORD.
isaiah 54 starts out with this promise, and in romans paul explains that this verse is talking about how sarah (abraham's wife), the "barren woman", bore more children than hagar, the slave woman, because all of us who believe in Jesus by faith and who have been saved are also sarah's children.
the rest of the chapter goes on to talk about how God is going to call israel back to home the way a husband would call back "deserted and distressed in spirit", a widow. it seems as though God has abandoned Israel, but he will come back.
8 In a surge of anger
I hid my face from you for a moment,
but with everlasting kindness
I will have compassion on you,"
says the LORD your Redeemer.
9 "To me this is like the days of Noah,
when I swore that the waters of Noah would never again cover the earth.
So now I have sworn not to be angry with you,
never to rebuke you again.
10 Though the mountains be shaken
and the hills be removed,
yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken
nor my covenant of peace be removed,"
says the LORD, who has compassion on you.
i don't know if this is necessarily the right way for me to read this chapter, but i read it as a dual promise, both for the Jews after they come back from exile, and for those Gentiles who will be brought into the family through their faith in Christ. and i just read through matthew henry (really famous Christian who wrote a really famous commentary on the Bible hahah)'s commentary on Isaiah, and he agrees with me so i guess that is how this chapter should be read hahah.
11 "O afflicted city, lashed by storms and not comforted,
I will build you with stones of turquoise, [a]
your foundations with sapphires. [b]
12 I will make your battlements of rubies,
your gates of sparkling jewels,
and all your walls of precious stones.
i feel like this part is almost talking about heaven, because that's how the New Jerusalem is described in Revelation, with 12 foundations laid by 12 different types of precious stones, and 12 pearl gates (that's where the Pearly Gates of Heaven come from i guess hahaha), and streets of gold.
most of all, i absolutely love the last part of ch. 54
14 In righteousness you will be established:
Tyranny will be far from you;
you will have nothing to fear.
Terror will be far removed;
it will not come near you.
15 If anyone does attack you, it will not be my doing;
whoever attacks you will surrender to you.
16 "See, it is I who created the blacksmith
who fans the coals into flame
and forges a weapon fit for its work.
And it is I who have created the destroyer to work havoc;
17 no weapon forged against you will prevail,
and you will refute every tongue that accuses you.
This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD,
and this is their vindication from me,"
declares the LORD.
i think this promise is absolutely beautiful. God is saying, you know what, i created satan. i created the materials used to make weapons against you. therefore, i am more powerful, and so you don't need to be afraid. nothing forged against you will ever prevail. that is such a beautiful promise, hahaha.
since this post is getting really long i won't comment too much on ch. 55, except to say that it is basically an invitation to anyone who is thirsty or hungry to come to God and have their hunger be satisfied.
10 As the rain and the snow
come down from heaven,
and do not return to it
without watering the earth
and making it bud and flourish,
so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,
11 so is my word that goes out from my mouth:
It will not return to me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire
and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.
12 You will go out in joy
and be led forth in peace;
the mountains and hills
will burst into song before you,
and all the trees of the field
will clap their hands.
Lord, i want to pray for carol, lizz, shelby, martha, savanna, amanda, elizabeth. i pray that as we seek you through your word this summer, your word will accomplish its purpose in our lives, and allow us to understand you better and to love you more. may we have an insatiable hunger to want to understand and know you better, and may you encourage, rebuke, build up, exhort, teach, or do whatever you please as we spend time with you daily. :)
Monday, June 21, 2010
Sunday on Monday
Greetings!!
Continuing on with Proverbs,
"Anxiety in a man's heart depresses it, but a kindly word makes it glad."
A good reminder to me that when I sense that somebody is feeling sad or anxious, I can really help them feel better by just a "kindly word". Cheesy, but yeah, still true.
"Wealth quickly gotten dwindles away, but amassed little by little, it grows."
One of those common sensical concepts that I have never really thought about in a direct way. I guess its, slow but steady wins the race. That's always a comforting idea. Good to have God's stamp of approval. haha
"He who spares his rod hates his son, but he who loves him takes care to chastise him."
This seems to be about justice again. Love actually does translate into justice, because justice reinforces an understanding of what is right and wrong, good and bad. The father wants his son to have this understanding because he loves him!! Don't think I plan on using the rod on my kids though.
"Even in laughter the heart may be sad, and the end of joy may be sorrow."
Seems that Solomon is just stating a fact of life here. He may be implying that our emotions do not tell us what is right and wrong, we have to search in our hearts. Wow I am sorry for this cheesiness.
"He who oppresses the poor blasphemes his Maker, but he who is kind to the needy glorifies him."
I had never thought of it this way before: Helping the disadvantaged and needy glorifies God, because it affirms that EVERYTHING God created is deserving of our love. To be disgusted by an individual (a person, not an action) is to sort of offend God.
__________________
So yesterday, I went to Catholic Mass with a fellow Catholic intern, and I came to a realization that the biggest thing I could not stand about Catholic mass back in the day was the AWFUL music. It seems that there is like a canon of Catholic hymns that are accepted and that they sing in Catholic churches around the country on a sort of cyclical basis. They are mostly written by these three people: Dan Schute, Mary Haugen, and David Haas. Anyway, the main point is that this music is not conducive to prayer. I would be trying to pray during mass and then all of a sudden the flute and piano would start up in some jingly hymn that did not fit the mood at all. It is actually pretty sad.. Even silence would be better.
The sermon was pretty good though, it was about the part in the Gospels when Jesus asks his Apostles, "and you, who do you say that I am?" or something like that, and they respond, "You are the Christ, our savior, the son of God" or something like that, and he "rebukes" them. The priest pointed out that Jesus was not rebuking them because they were incorrect, but because he did not want himself to be put up on a pedestal - he wanted to be seen as our humble servant, a lamb, not as like an almighty, sort of prince-like figure.
<3
Continuing on with Proverbs,
"Anxiety in a man's heart depresses it, but a kindly word makes it glad."
A good reminder to me that when I sense that somebody is feeling sad or anxious, I can really help them feel better by just a "kindly word". Cheesy, but yeah, still true.
"Wealth quickly gotten dwindles away, but amassed little by little, it grows."
One of those common sensical concepts that I have never really thought about in a direct way. I guess its, slow but steady wins the race. That's always a comforting idea. Good to have God's stamp of approval. haha
"He who spares his rod hates his son, but he who loves him takes care to chastise him."
This seems to be about justice again. Love actually does translate into justice, because justice reinforces an understanding of what is right and wrong, good and bad. The father wants his son to have this understanding because he loves him!! Don't think I plan on using the rod on my kids though.
"Even in laughter the heart may be sad, and the end of joy may be sorrow."
Seems that Solomon is just stating a fact of life here. He may be implying that our emotions do not tell us what is right and wrong, we have to search in our hearts. Wow I am sorry for this cheesiness.
"He who oppresses the poor blasphemes his Maker, but he who is kind to the needy glorifies him."
I had never thought of it this way before: Helping the disadvantaged and needy glorifies God, because it affirms that EVERYTHING God created is deserving of our love. To be disgusted by an individual (a person, not an action) is to sort of offend God.
__________________
So yesterday, I went to Catholic Mass with a fellow Catholic intern, and I came to a realization that the biggest thing I could not stand about Catholic mass back in the day was the AWFUL music. It seems that there is like a canon of Catholic hymns that are accepted and that they sing in Catholic churches around the country on a sort of cyclical basis. They are mostly written by these three people: Dan Schute, Mary Haugen, and David Haas. Anyway, the main point is that this music is not conducive to prayer. I would be trying to pray during mass and then all of a sudden the flute and piano would start up in some jingly hymn that did not fit the mood at all. It is actually pretty sad.. Even silence would be better.
The sermon was pretty good though, it was about the part in the Gospels when Jesus asks his Apostles, "and you, who do you say that I am?" or something like that, and they respond, "You are the Christ, our savior, the son of God" or something like that, and he "rebukes" them. The priest pointed out that Jesus was not rebuking them because they were incorrect, but because he did not want himself to be put up on a pedestal - he wanted to be seen as our humble servant, a lamb, not as like an almighty, sort of prince-like figure.
<3
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Sav on Saturday
So I've read this passage in Matthew, like, a million times before, but it really hit me this week.
Matthew 11: 28-30
"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me - watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly."
Isn't that amazing?! How I wish I were better at keeping Jesus' company. I tend to get so caught up with myself and my troubles that I forget that a better life is available to me. Jesus came to bring freedom, true freedom, yet I seem to have developed a fondness for slavery. It sickens me on some level, my twisted nature, but I can't seem to want a better life, a life that God can give me.
It's like, I'm addicted to frustration, anger, depression, anxiety, and a hopeless life. What sort of person finds comfort in such misery rather than in the arms of her Savior? Yet on some level, don't we all do that? Don't we shun the "unforced rhythms of grace" in favor of the familiarity of life without God? So anyways, that's what I've been thinking about.
This week has been a mix. I went to the college small group at my parents' church. Although I scratched beforehand because I was super nervous, it turned out to be a good experience. The theme was community and sharing, so we all told our testimonies. I enjoyed it. Other than that, and a few highlights of friends visiting me, it was another rough week. Whatever. Next week's a new beginning.
Miss and love you all!
Matthew 11: 28-30
"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me - watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly."
Isn't that amazing?! How I wish I were better at keeping Jesus' company. I tend to get so caught up with myself and my troubles that I forget that a better life is available to me. Jesus came to bring freedom, true freedom, yet I seem to have developed a fondness for slavery. It sickens me on some level, my twisted nature, but I can't seem to want a better life, a life that God can give me.
It's like, I'm addicted to frustration, anger, depression, anxiety, and a hopeless life. What sort of person finds comfort in such misery rather than in the arms of her Savior? Yet on some level, don't we all do that? Don't we shun the "unforced rhythms of grace" in favor of the familiarity of life without God? So anyways, that's what I've been thinking about.
This week has been a mix. I went to the college small group at my parents' church. Although I scratched beforehand because I was super nervous, it turned out to be a good experience. The theme was community and sharing, so we all told our testimonies. I enjoyed it. Other than that, and a few highlights of friends visiting me, it was another rough week. Whatever. Next week's a new beginning.
Miss and love you all!
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
utilizing the 24-hour grace period :)
sorry girls >< i'm really bad at posting on tuesday...
anyway,i just wanted to share with you all today about how reading through isaiah has really been giving me a a really strong picture of who God is. through all the past couple passages in which God issued challenge after challenge to the idols, i have been seeing how God is so glorious and zealous for his name. i get this mental image of God pleading with all these blind and deaf people heedlessly worshipping idols made of wood or precious metal, saying “why on earth are you bowing down to these things that are made out of the exact same material as what you make a fire out of!? i’m the one who created those things! come to me, please, i’m the only one who can protect you, i’m the only one with any power in this world, come to me, please. i love you.”
from my quiet time today:
- i had to catch up on yesterday's BRP too, and as i was reading through isaiah 47 and revelation 17 i thought it was really cool seeing how the two prophesies about the end of Babylon, and how God is going to destroy them, parallel each other. i wonder if Babylon is literally the city of Bablyon (because that's what it seems like in isaiah) or symbolically stands for something very evil (which is what it seems like in revelation)?
- i love the last part of isaiah 48
12 "Listen to me, O Jacob,
Israel, whom I have called:
I am he;
I am the first and I am the last.
13 My own hand laid the foundations of the earth,
and my right hand spread out the heavens;
when I summon them,
they all stand up together.
14 "Come together, all of you, and listen:
Which of the idols has foretold these things?
The LORD's chosen ally
will carry out his purpose against Babylon;
his arm will be against the Babylonians. [a]
15 I, even I, have spoken;
yes, I have called him.
I will bring him,
and he will succeed in his mission.
16 "Come near me and listen to this:
"From the first announcement I have not spoken in secret;
at the time it happens, I am there."
And now the Sovereign LORD has sent me,
with his Spirit.
17 This is what the LORD says—
your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel:
"I am the LORD your God,
who teaches you what is best for you,
who directs you in the way you should go.
18 If only you had paid attention to my commands,
your peace would have been like a river,
your righteousness like the waves of the sea.
19 Your descendants would have been like the sand,
your children like its numberless grains;
their name would never be cut off
nor destroyed from before me."
20 Leave Babylon,
flee from the Babylonians!
Announce this with shouts of joy
and proclaim it.
Send it out to the ends of the earth;
say, "The LORD has redeemed his servant Jacob."
21 They did not thirst when he led them through the deserts;
he made water flow for them from the rock;
he split the rock
and water gushed out.
22 "There is no peace," says the LORD, "for the wicked."
that's all from me for now! :) pray for my stats 350 exam tomorrow! hahah. hope you all are having a blessed week.
erica
anyway,i just wanted to share with you all today about how reading through isaiah has really been giving me a a really strong picture of who God is. through all the past couple passages in which God issued challenge after challenge to the idols, i have been seeing how God is so glorious and zealous for his name. i get this mental image of God pleading with all these blind and deaf people heedlessly worshipping idols made of wood or precious metal, saying “why on earth are you bowing down to these things that are made out of the exact same material as what you make a fire out of!? i’m the one who created those things! come to me, please, i’m the only one who can protect you, i’m the only one with any power in this world, come to me, please. i love you.”
from my quiet time today:
- i had to catch up on yesterday's BRP too, and as i was reading through isaiah 47 and revelation 17 i thought it was really cool seeing how the two prophesies about the end of Babylon, and how God is going to destroy them, parallel each other. i wonder if Babylon is literally the city of Bablyon (because that's what it seems like in isaiah) or symbolically stands for something very evil (which is what it seems like in revelation)?
- i love the last part of isaiah 48
12 "Listen to me, O Jacob,
Israel, whom I have called:
I am he;
I am the first and I am the last.
13 My own hand laid the foundations of the earth,
and my right hand spread out the heavens;
when I summon them,
they all stand up together.
14 "Come together, all of you, and listen:
Which of the idols has foretold these things?
The LORD's chosen ally
will carry out his purpose against Babylon;
his arm will be against the Babylonians. [a]
15 I, even I, have spoken;
yes, I have called him.
I will bring him,
and he will succeed in his mission.
16 "Come near me and listen to this:
"From the first announcement I have not spoken in secret;
at the time it happens, I am there."
And now the Sovereign LORD has sent me,
with his Spirit.
17 This is what the LORD says—
your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel:
"I am the LORD your God,
who teaches you what is best for you,
who directs you in the way you should go.
18 If only you had paid attention to my commands,
your peace would have been like a river,
your righteousness like the waves of the sea.
19 Your descendants would have been like the sand,
your children like its numberless grains;
their name would never be cut off
nor destroyed from before me."
20 Leave Babylon,
flee from the Babylonians!
Announce this with shouts of joy
and proclaim it.
Send it out to the ends of the earth;
say, "The LORD has redeemed his servant Jacob."
21 They did not thirst when he led them through the deserts;
he made water flow for them from the rock;
he split the rock
and water gushed out.
22 "There is no peace," says the LORD, "for the wicked."
that's all from me for now! :) pray for my stats 350 exam tomorrow! hahah. hope you all are having a blessed week.
erica
Sunday, June 13, 2010
It is actually Sunday!!
So I am still in the Proverbs, and now the Collection of the Proverbs of Solomon has begun. These chapters seem to be filled with several different ways of saying "good is good, evil is evil", but here are some of the more interesting ones:
"It is the Lord's blessing that brings wealth, and no effort can substitute for it."
"The hope of the just brings them joy, but the expectation of the wicked comes to naught."
"When pride comes, disgrace comes; but with the humble is wisdom."
"For lack of guidance a people falls; security lies in many counselors."
"A kindly man benefits himself, but a merciless man harms himself."
The first one of course is a good reminder that all good things come from God, from his love for us and nothing else. Why do I ever convince myself that I accomplished something by myself? God is always right there with me, like Footprints in the Sand :)
The second one goes back to the falsity of that mindset: that sin is debt and good works earn us grace. My hope for God's grace is a humble hope because I know that all the power is His. If I slip into thinking, expecting, that God owes me anything, then I have lost sight of the bigger picture.
The next two sort of remind me of something I have been feeling for a while, but haven't done anything about. I feel like I don't ask for enough advice from people in my life. I have so much pride that I want to figure out everything by myself and I don't trust anyone else's conclusions. Either that, or I am just plain scared to ask for advice.. I think I need practice.
Okay, and finally, the last one was a pleasant surprise. It sort of affirms that Oprah wisdom that I believe in - that until I love myself, I cannot truly love other people. And that if I cannot forgive myself, I cannot forgive others. Forgiveness is so important and such a huge headline virtue when I think of the nature of God. And yet I give up on it so easily.
Also, that last one reminded me of something I read recently - the three stages of female moral maturity according to someone called Gilligan:
1. Good = what feels good, getting things for yourself.
2. Good = Giving to others, self-sacrifice. The greater the personal sacrifice the better the deed.
3. Good = Treating all humanity with compassion and respect. Recognizing that "I" am a human being deserving of the same respect due to others.
Somethin' to think about..
I have been goood. Made more banana bread today, did laundry, other homey-ish things. I am ALMOST done with The Seven Storey Mountain by Thomas Merton. Maybe I will write about that at some point.
At my job, several new interns have arrived. Most are cool, but a couple of them are *painfully* arrogant, and believe it or not they are seriously challenging my compassion. We will see how it goes.
"It is the Lord's blessing that brings wealth, and no effort can substitute for it."
"The hope of the just brings them joy, but the expectation of the wicked comes to naught."
"When pride comes, disgrace comes; but with the humble is wisdom."
"For lack of guidance a people falls; security lies in many counselors."
"A kindly man benefits himself, but a merciless man harms himself."
The first one of course is a good reminder that all good things come from God, from his love for us and nothing else. Why do I ever convince myself that I accomplished something by myself? God is always right there with me, like Footprints in the Sand :)
The second one goes back to the falsity of that mindset: that sin is debt and good works earn us grace. My hope for God's grace is a humble hope because I know that all the power is His. If I slip into thinking, expecting, that God owes me anything, then I have lost sight of the bigger picture.
The next two sort of remind me of something I have been feeling for a while, but haven't done anything about. I feel like I don't ask for enough advice from people in my life. I have so much pride that I want to figure out everything by myself and I don't trust anyone else's conclusions. Either that, or I am just plain scared to ask for advice.. I think I need practice.
Okay, and finally, the last one was a pleasant surprise. It sort of affirms that Oprah wisdom that I believe in - that until I love myself, I cannot truly love other people. And that if I cannot forgive myself, I cannot forgive others. Forgiveness is so important and such a huge headline virtue when I think of the nature of God. And yet I give up on it so easily.
Also, that last one reminded me of something I read recently - the three stages of female moral maturity according to someone called Gilligan:
1. Good = what feels good, getting things for yourself.
2. Good = Giving to others, self-sacrifice. The greater the personal sacrifice the better the deed.
3. Good = Treating all humanity with compassion and respect. Recognizing that "I" am a human being deserving of the same respect due to others.
Somethin' to think about..
I have been goood. Made more banana bread today, did laundry, other homey-ish things. I am ALMOST done with The Seven Storey Mountain by Thomas Merton. Maybe I will write about that at some point.
At my job, several new interns have arrived. Most are cool, but a couple of them are *painfully* arrogant, and believe it or not they are seriously challenging my compassion. We will see how it goes.
Saturday, June 12, 2010
nom nom
ok, i will be probably posting on saturdays from now on lol
things were starting to look up this past week for me... i have had a few revelations about myself, about God and life in general.
about me:i have known for a while that i find a lot of my significance i find in my relationships with people...especially older sisters. i think i depend on them too much to "help" me grow in my relationship with God. i also noticed myself getting so disappoined and unloved when they dont give me all the time or attention i want. i realized how this distracts me from fully seeking God with all my heart. so this week I decided to try and be less needy towards them and more needy towards God. i think its working! w00t w00t. ill see how it carries out this week and stuff too but i like it so far.
anyways, tryign to learn more about the gospel. learned a new method of studyign the bible...asking 3 questions. what did u learn about 1.God 2. yourslef 3. the gospel. I will do this with john 8.
background info--> a woman who was committing adultery was suppoesd to get stoned for punishment. Jesus said that whoever has not sinned has the right to punish that woman. so the crowd left but jesus went up to the woman and did not stone her:
10 Then Jesus stood up again and said to the woman, “Where are your accusers? Didn’t even one of them condemn you?”
11 “No, Lord,” she said.
And Jesus said, “Neither do I. Go and sin no more.”
12 Jesus spoke to the people once more and said, “I am the light of the world. If you follow me, you won’t have to walk in darkness, because you will have the light that leads to life.”
we have no right to judge other people because we are all sinners. i've been seeing more of my uglyness lately just in terms of being annooyed with people over petty things or sometimes i even majorly sin out of selfishness. regardless, i know i am bad. lol but the cool thing i got from the first chunk of scripture 10-12 is that even though Jesus has every right to punish us because He is sin-free, he chooses not to. All he asks of us is that we sin no more. such a simple request, yet we always break it dont we? Instead of punishing us for OUR sins, he takes the sin for himself and dies on the cross for us.
in regards to verse 12, sin leads to death, a relationship with jesus leads to life. i feel like we all know these things, but at the end of the day, im wondering if it penetrates our hearts enough. i know it doesn't mean enough to me. but i am realizing that instead of chasing all these alternatives to make myself temporarily happy and ultimately sinning, that maybe if I was chasing a relationshpi with God then perhaps I would experience a more fruitful and abundant life?
34 Jesus replied, “I tell you the truth, everyone who sins is a slave of sin. 35 A slave is not a permanent member of the family, but a son is part of the family forever. 36 So if the Son sets you free, you are truly free.
We are all slaves of sin since we all sin. But the beauty of the gospel message can be seen in light of our sins! We have a choice to believe in Jesus and his power to set us free from our sin!
nom nom
things were starting to look up this past week for me... i have had a few revelations about myself, about God and life in general.
about me:i have known for a while that i find a lot of my significance i find in my relationships with people...especially older sisters. i think i depend on them too much to "help" me grow in my relationship with God. i also noticed myself getting so disappoined and unloved when they dont give me all the time or attention i want. i realized how this distracts me from fully seeking God with all my heart. so this week I decided to try and be less needy towards them and more needy towards God. i think its working! w00t w00t. ill see how it carries out this week and stuff too but i like it so far.
anyways, tryign to learn more about the gospel. learned a new method of studyign the bible...asking 3 questions. what did u learn about 1.God 2. yourslef 3. the gospel. I will do this with john 8.
background info--> a woman who was committing adultery was suppoesd to get stoned for punishment. Jesus said that whoever has not sinned has the right to punish that woman. so the crowd left but jesus went up to the woman and did not stone her:
10 Then Jesus stood up again and said to the woman, “Where are your accusers? Didn’t even one of them condemn you?”
11 “No, Lord,” she said.
And Jesus said, “Neither do I. Go and sin no more.”
12 Jesus spoke to the people once more and said, “I am the light of the world. If you follow me, you won’t have to walk in darkness, because you will have the light that leads to life.”
we have no right to judge other people because we are all sinners. i've been seeing more of my uglyness lately just in terms of being annooyed with people over petty things or sometimes i even majorly sin out of selfishness. regardless, i know i am bad. lol but the cool thing i got from the first chunk of scripture 10-12 is that even though Jesus has every right to punish us because He is sin-free, he chooses not to. All he asks of us is that we sin no more. such a simple request, yet we always break it dont we? Instead of punishing us for OUR sins, he takes the sin for himself and dies on the cross for us.
in regards to verse 12, sin leads to death, a relationship with jesus leads to life. i feel like we all know these things, but at the end of the day, im wondering if it penetrates our hearts enough. i know it doesn't mean enough to me. but i am realizing that instead of chasing all these alternatives to make myself temporarily happy and ultimately sinning, that maybe if I was chasing a relationshpi with God then perhaps I would experience a more fruitful and abundant life?
34 Jesus replied, “I tell you the truth, everyone who sins is a slave of sin. 35 A slave is not a permanent member of the family, but a son is part of the family forever. 36 So if the Son sets you free, you are truly free.
We are all slaves of sin since we all sin. But the beauty of the gospel message can be seen in light of our sins! We have a choice to believe in Jesus and his power to set us free from our sin!
nom nom
Sav on Saturday
I wish I had something profound to share with you all this week. The truth is, I have really been struggling these past few days, and I have not done very much Bible reading. I've done a lot of praying, but not much listening. Nonetheless, God continues to reach out to me because His grace is given based on who He is, not based on what I do to earn it.
I did find comfort in this passage:
"Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life" (Philippians 4:6-7).
If I may be honest, worry has been the center of my life this past week. I worry about finding a job. I worry about fitting in at NorthRidge Church in Plymouth. I worry about my past failures. I worry about my present failures. I worry about never getting better. I worry about disappointing my parents. I worry about what people would think of me if they knew I have depression and anxiety. I worry about what people would do if they caught me scratching my arms. I worry about God giving up on me. I even worry about worrying!
I've been spiraling down, and it is absolutely frightening. The one hope I cling to is that God has not forgotten me. I am not invisible to the King of this world. Like the psalms proclaim again and again, God hears my cry for help.
With that said, I haven't done much this week besides worry. I'm working on a new quilt, but I haven't gotten much done at this point. I haven't even read much! I'm just hoping for a fresh start tomorrow.
I miss you all and love you so very much!
I did find comfort in this passage:
"Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life" (Philippians 4:6-7).
If I may be honest, worry has been the center of my life this past week. I worry about finding a job. I worry about fitting in at NorthRidge Church in Plymouth. I worry about my past failures. I worry about my present failures. I worry about never getting better. I worry about disappointing my parents. I worry about what people would think of me if they knew I have depression and anxiety. I worry about what people would do if they caught me scratching my arms. I worry about God giving up on me. I even worry about worrying!
I've been spiraling down, and it is absolutely frightening. The one hope I cling to is that God has not forgotten me. I am not invisible to the King of this world. Like the psalms proclaim again and again, God hears my cry for help.
With that said, I haven't done much this week besides worry. I'm working on a new quilt, but I haven't gotten much done at this point. I haven't even read much! I'm just hoping for a fresh start tomorrow.
I miss you all and love you so very much!
Thursday, June 10, 2010
happy thursday :D
Ok so hi ya'll, well i just ate a bunch of potato chips and now i feel sick haha. So it is official I will be making my way down to ann arbor on sunday and my mom is coming too, you peeps in aa could meet her. i'm really excited to be back, i miss ann arbor, its such a pretty town. my dad said he saw aa featured on a pure michigan comericial, which by that way those commericals give me goose bumps every time, haha even though i have not seen the aa one. anyway im rambling, work is starting to go by faster, and my trip to boston is coming up in less than a month. we are going to go to six flags and go sea kayaking OH MY GOSH IM SO EXCITEDDD and i guess dale's cool too :). anyway so im continuing with romans 13. There is a particular verse that stuck out to me since it was basically the message of one of the sermons at my home church. Verse 11 "And do this, understanding the present time. The hour has come for you to wake up from your slumber, because salvation is nearer now than when we first believed."
The sermon was basically about how alot of christians try to get closer and closer to some sort of line that divides indulging in sins and being a faithful christian. i can say at least for myself that is something i often do, i push my limits and i think sometimes that exploits grace to be honest. my pastor talked about how you can't put christian things off and live in the now while being a christian because you don't know when Jesus is coming back, and it might be too late. I was just really blessed by that sermon and i thought i would share it with all of you since that verse reminded me of it. See you guys in a few days :)
The sermon was basically about how alot of christians try to get closer and closer to some sort of line that divides indulging in sins and being a faithful christian. i can say at least for myself that is something i often do, i push my limits and i think sometimes that exploits grace to be honest. my pastor talked about how you can't put christian things off and live in the now while being a christian because you don't know when Jesus is coming back, and it might be too late. I was just really blessed by that sermon and i thought i would share it with all of you since that verse reminded me of it. See you guys in a few days :)
24-hour fail...
Lol, missed my blog post by a little, but I guess I'll exercise the 24-hour grace period Carol came up with...
I've been so exhausted in the evenings lately and literally don't want to do ANYTHING when I get home! Today's no exception, especially because today's just been really long and kind of emotionally draining.
But I just want to start off with two really big praises. First, I got up early this morning to work on a paper and I checked my email and...there was a financial aid notice. Basically, for this coming fall/winter, the university is offering me enough scholarship and grant money to cover tuition, rent, and some of my food expenses as well! I almost fell over when I read it. And then I emailed my mom with a billion exclamation points. And then I just stopped and sort of traded off between praying and just randomly like squealing for joy to myself. But seriously, this is such an amazing blessing, and it's really an opportunity just to turn to God in praise for his faithfulness in my life.
Second praise, my dad and I met Sunday for the first time in about 10 years! I was nervous and thought it would be awkward or sad and all these other things, but it was actually really really good.
I've been so exhausted in the evenings lately and literally don't want to do ANYTHING when I get home! Today's no exception, especially because today's just been really long and kind of emotionally draining.
But I just want to start off with two really big praises. First, I got up early this morning to work on a paper and I checked my email and...there was a financial aid notice. Basically, for this coming fall/winter, the university is offering me enough scholarship and grant money to cover tuition, rent, and some of my food expenses as well! I almost fell over when I read it. And then I emailed my mom with a billion exclamation points. And then I just stopped and sort of traded off between praying and just randomly like squealing for joy to myself. But seriously, this is such an amazing blessing, and it's really an opportunity just to turn to God in praise for his faithfulness in my life.
Second praise, my dad and I met Sunday for the first time in about 10 years! I was nervous and thought it would be awkward or sad and all these other things, but it was actually really really good.
So, I think that usually I choose to talk about a bible passage that I pretty much have figured out--not to undermine that I might still find more the next time I go back, but I don't usually choose a passage that I'm still really stuck on. But I've come back to this passage a few times this week and am still wrestling through it.
I'm getting really sleepy as I'm writing this, so I'll share it today, and I'll come back to this tomorrow and share some of my thoughts on it!
"Let me sing for my beloved
my love-song concerning his
vineyard:
My beloved had a vineyard
on a very fertile hill.
He dug it and cleared it of
stones,
and planted it with choice
vines;
he built a watchtower in the
midst of it,
and hewed out a wine vat in it;
he expected it to yield grapes,
but it yielded wild grapes.
And now, inhabitants of Jerusalem
and people of Judah,
judge between me
and my vineyard.
What more was there to do for
my vineyard that I have not done in it?
When I expected it to yield grapes,
why did it yield wild grapes?
"Let me sing for my beloved
my love-song concerning his
vineyard:
My beloved had a vineyard
on a very fertile hill.
He dug it and cleared it of
stones,
and planted it with choice
vines;
he built a watchtower in the
midst of it,
and hewed out a wine vat in it;
he expected it to yield grapes,
but it yielded wild grapes.
And now, inhabitants of Jerusalem
and people of Judah,
judge between me
and my vineyard.
What more was there to do for
my vineyard that I have not done in it?
When I expected it to yield grapes,
why did it yield wild grapes?
And now I will tell you
what I will do to my vineyard.
I will remove its hedge,
and it shall be devoured;
I will break down its wall,
and it shall be trampled down.
I will make it a waste;
it shall not be pruned or hoed,
and it shall be overgrown with
briers and thorns;
I will also command the clouds
that the rain no rain upon it."
-Isaiah 5:1-6
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
erica's turn! :)
i was reading through revelation 9, and the last verse of the passage really struck me:
20The rest of mankind that were not killed by these plagues still did not repent of the work of their hands; they did not stop worshiping demons, and idols of gold, silver, bronze, stone and wood—idols that cannot see or hear or walk. 21Nor did they repent of their murders, their magic arts, their sexual immorality or their thefts.
the whole chapter describes God's judgment on the earth, all the different plagues that he brings upon the inhabitants of earth, and still they will not repent. it reminds me of all the different chapters i've also been reading in Isaiah (for instance isaiah 30:17-18), where God allows all these things to happen to Judah so that it will finally repent and come back to him. i really pray that my heart will never be hardened, especially not to that extent - so that even though God is screaming for my attention, i completely ignore him.
this chapter also reminds me of romans 1:18-28, where it says that
18The wrath of God is being revealed from heaven against all the godlessness and wickedness of men who suppress the truth by their wickedness, 19since what may be known about God is plain to them, because God has made it plain to them. 20For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse.
again, no matter how hard God tries to get their attention, they ignore him.
another thing from this passage that really struck me was God's sovereignty over everything - even as all these horrible disasters happen, God dictates when people can be killed, and when they can only be tortured (4They were told not to harm the grass of the earth or any plant or tree, but only those people who did not have the seal of God on their foreheads. 5They were not given power to kill them, but only to torture them for five months. And the agony they suffered was like that of the sting of a scorpion when it strikes a man. 6During those days men will seek death, but will not find it; they will long to die, but death will elude them.). all these horrible things are happening, but God is still completely in control of what is happening. it reminds me of the times when horrible things happen in my own life, and i doubt whether or not God is still sovereign.
one last observation, hahah. i realize this post is getting long.
4They were told not to harm the grass of the earth or any plant or tree, but only those people who did not have the seal of God on their foreheads.
this promise, that those who God marked out as his own cannot be harmed, is so powerful and so poignant. i love how in ch. 7 God explicitly orders that nothing can be harmed until he has gone through the earth and marked out who belongs to him. it reminds me of another passage in Isaiah (sorry, been reading too much of isaiah lately, i guess, hahah):
8 And a highway will be there;
it will be called the Way of Holiness.
The unclean will not journey on it;
it will be for those who walk in that Way;
wicked fools will not go about on it. [a]
9 No lion will be there,
nor will any ferocious beast get up on it;
they will not be found there.
But only the redeemed will walk there,
10 and the ransomed of the LORD will return.
They will enter Zion with singing;
everlasting joy will crown their heads.
Gladness and joy will overtake them,
and sorrow and sighing will flee away.
ok. that is all for me. i just got back from morning prayer not so long ago, and i've been feeling really refreshed, because for the past couple days i've been spending some really good quality time praying to God. i encourage you guys to do it too! prayer really is how i invite God and give him permission to come and do whatever he wants in my life, and i always end up feeing really refreshed after a good time of prayer :) hope everybody's summer's been awesome!
love,
erica
p.s. sorry i haven't been keeping up on people's posts >< i promise i will try to read them once i get the chance.
20The rest of mankind that were not killed by these plagues still did not repent of the work of their hands; they did not stop worshiping demons, and idols of gold, silver, bronze, stone and wood—idols that cannot see or hear or walk. 21Nor did they repent of their murders, their magic arts, their sexual immorality or their thefts.
the whole chapter describes God's judgment on the earth, all the different plagues that he brings upon the inhabitants of earth, and still they will not repent. it reminds me of all the different chapters i've also been reading in Isaiah (for instance isaiah 30:17-18), where God allows all these things to happen to Judah so that it will finally repent and come back to him. i really pray that my heart will never be hardened, especially not to that extent - so that even though God is screaming for my attention, i completely ignore him.
this chapter also reminds me of romans 1:18-28, where it says that
18The wrath of God is being revealed from heaven against all the godlessness and wickedness of men who suppress the truth by their wickedness, 19since what may be known about God is plain to them, because God has made it plain to them. 20For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse.
again, no matter how hard God tries to get their attention, they ignore him.
another thing from this passage that really struck me was God's sovereignty over everything - even as all these horrible disasters happen, God dictates when people can be killed, and when they can only be tortured (4They were told not to harm the grass of the earth or any plant or tree, but only those people who did not have the seal of God on their foreheads. 5They were not given power to kill them, but only to torture them for five months. And the agony they suffered was like that of the sting of a scorpion when it strikes a man. 6During those days men will seek death, but will not find it; they will long to die, but death will elude them.). all these horrible things are happening, but God is still completely in control of what is happening. it reminds me of the times when horrible things happen in my own life, and i doubt whether or not God is still sovereign.
one last observation, hahah. i realize this post is getting long.
4They were told not to harm the grass of the earth or any plant or tree, but only those people who did not have the seal of God on their foreheads.
this promise, that those who God marked out as his own cannot be harmed, is so powerful and so poignant. i love how in ch. 7 God explicitly orders that nothing can be harmed until he has gone through the earth and marked out who belongs to him. it reminds me of another passage in Isaiah (sorry, been reading too much of isaiah lately, i guess, hahah):
8 And a highway will be there;
it will be called the Way of Holiness.
The unclean will not journey on it;
it will be for those who walk in that Way;
wicked fools will not go about on it. [a]
9 No lion will be there,
nor will any ferocious beast get up on it;
they will not be found there.
But only the redeemed will walk there,
10 and the ransomed of the LORD will return.
They will enter Zion with singing;
everlasting joy will crown their heads.
Gladness and joy will overtake them,
and sorrow and sighing will flee away.
ok. that is all for me. i just got back from morning prayer not so long ago, and i've been feeling really refreshed, because for the past couple days i've been spending some really good quality time praying to God. i encourage you guys to do it too! prayer really is how i invite God and give him permission to come and do whatever he wants in my life, and i always end up feeing really refreshed after a good time of prayer :) hope everybody's summer's been awesome!
love,
erica
p.s. sorry i haven't been keeping up on people's posts >< i promise i will try to read them once i get the chance.
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