I just finished reading a book by Elaine Pagels called “Adam, Eve, and the Serpent.” It's a highly engaging historical analysis of how the early Christians developed their views on sexuality, the creation story, the fall of man, and original sin.
Although I found the entire book to be enlightening about the fact that there has never been one “true” Christianity, a few points especially intrigued me.
For example, Augustine was the one to introduce, ie create, the idea of original sin. It had not been present in the Christian vocabulary before then. Augustine interpreted the fall of Adam as the fall of humanity. He saw death as unnatural, a punishment for Adam and Eve's sin. All of humanity is tainted by this moral decay in that sickness, hardship, and misery exist. No one is born innocent, for as Augustine asks, how could God allow the suffering of innocent infants? Augustine wielded incredible power as a theologian in his century, and his point of view neatly coincided with the acceptance of Christianity by the Roman Empire. Contrary to previous Christian views of complete moral freedom and the ability to self-govern, Augustine declared that government, ie Rome, was necessary in the light of man's corrupt nature.
Julian and Pelagius are the two theologians who were most vocal in defending the “traditional” Christian view of moral freedom. Julian read the fall of Adam as exactly that, the fall of Adam, not of humanity. He read it as a true parable about the “spiritual death” of people when they freely choose to sin and disobey God. When God said that Adam would die when he ate the fruit, it was not a physical death, for Adam did not immediately die as promised, but it was a spiritual death, for then Adam and Eve were ashamed of themselves and began a process of decay.
Julian, not a scientist but nonetheless possessing insight, saw death as natural. For when God declared that man should return to dust, it was because “you are earth” not because they sinned. Sickness and natural disasters are not a result of man's sin, for man has never held such power, but are part of nature. As such, they are not evil. Suffering is natural, but misery, which is how man deals with suffering, is a voluntary condition.
Isn't this so interesting??!! Or am I just being a complete booknerd right now? Lol Anywho, how did Augustine manage to so convince the majority of Christians to adopt the idea of original sin? The book does not presume to answer such a big question, but it proposes that Augustine's theory filled a void that existed. People of all cultures tend to experience blame and guilt for suffering, whether caused by “sin” or not, because this supports the idea of a universe governed by moral cause and effect. It gives control to humans and declares that their actions have significance in the world, whether for good or evil. Is guilt a good trade-off for this sense of control? Perhaps, since most humans are, according to Spong, affected by the trauma of self-consciousness.
Anyways, the book also addressed the debate in the early Christian world of whether virginity or marriage is better. It's rather interesting to see how our current Christian praise of virgins has developed. Whew! Ok, I'll give your brains a rest now. Lol
I just started my job at Borders on Tuesday, and I absolutely love it!! I adore shelving and pulling books, helping people find particular authors, giving recommendations, ringing up sales, etc. This is like my dream job basically! Haha Anyways, other than that, not much else has been going on that I will detail. Some relationship drama, but that's about all. Hope you all are getting ready to enjoy this last month of summer!
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Monday, July 26, 2010
Myrica Monday
hey girls...
gah, i can't believe I've gone so long without posting! I'm really really sorry about that. I want to say though, that I have been reading all of your posts, and I really appreciate hearing your thoughts and how you're all doing every time I get online (which tends to be every 3 or 4 days).
So what's up with me, you may be wondering? Well, honestly, half the time I'm not sure. Over the past couple weeks I've become really negligent about reading my bible, to tell you the truth, and that's had a lot to do with why I've been avoiding posting. But just because I haven't been regularly reading the Word doesn't mean I've stopped working on my relationship with God, I don't think. I feel like at least once everyday (and oftentimes more than once a day) I see something here, in nature, whether I'm out in the field with a class or just wandering around on my own, that just puts me in complete awe of His creation. I mean, really. I've known for a while that this connection I feel between God and the natural world is a very large part of why I'm in the major I'm in, but I'm reminded of it more than ever, the longer I spend at the biostation. I think these moments of awe are gentle reminders from God, because there have definitely been times this summer when I mentally kick myself for taking classes (who wants to be in school when you could be at the beach with friends?) or for choosing the classes that I did, because I think they're pretty hard. So, me enjoying the beauty of God's creation is His way of reminding me why I'm supposed to be studying this - to help conserve and protect God's creation.
Oh, also, I just finished reading a book for my lit class called "Refuge" by Terry Tempest Williams. I'm not going to lie, it was a terribly book. It's the true story of TTW's mom dying of cancer, being Mormon, and TTW's connection to nature. I cried during a lot of it, but it was fantastic. I think that part of the reason I connected with it so much was that it was a really exaggerated explanation of how I feel toward nature. Yeah, if you're interested in that kind of thing, you should check it out. :)
Okay, well I have to go finish writing a paper for tomorrow (ah! too much schoolwork!), so I'm gonna go do that...I hope you're all doing well! I love and miss all of you, and I really will try to post again next week, so that I'm back on a regular schedule.
Ok, bye!!! <3 <3 <3
gah, i can't believe I've gone so long without posting! I'm really really sorry about that. I want to say though, that I have been reading all of your posts, and I really appreciate hearing your thoughts and how you're all doing every time I get online (which tends to be every 3 or 4 days).
So what's up with me, you may be wondering? Well, honestly, half the time I'm not sure. Over the past couple weeks I've become really negligent about reading my bible, to tell you the truth, and that's had a lot to do with why I've been avoiding posting. But just because I haven't been regularly reading the Word doesn't mean I've stopped working on my relationship with God, I don't think. I feel like at least once everyday (and oftentimes more than once a day) I see something here, in nature, whether I'm out in the field with a class or just wandering around on my own, that just puts me in complete awe of His creation. I mean, really. I've known for a while that this connection I feel between God and the natural world is a very large part of why I'm in the major I'm in, but I'm reminded of it more than ever, the longer I spend at the biostation. I think these moments of awe are gentle reminders from God, because there have definitely been times this summer when I mentally kick myself for taking classes (who wants to be in school when you could be at the beach with friends?) or for choosing the classes that I did, because I think they're pretty hard. So, me enjoying the beauty of God's creation is His way of reminding me why I'm supposed to be studying this - to help conserve and protect God's creation.
Oh, also, I just finished reading a book for my lit class called "Refuge" by Terry Tempest Williams. I'm not going to lie, it was a terribly book. It's the true story of TTW's mom dying of cancer, being Mormon, and TTW's connection to nature. I cried during a lot of it, but it was fantastic. I think that part of the reason I connected with it so much was that it was a really exaggerated explanation of how I feel toward nature. Yeah, if you're interested in that kind of thing, you should check it out. :)
Okay, well I have to go finish writing a paper for tomorrow (ah! too much schoolwork!), so I'm gonna go do that...I hope you're all doing well! I love and miss all of you, and I really will try to post again next week, so that I'm back on a regular schedule.
Ok, bye!!! <3 <3 <3
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Sav on Saturday
Alright, when I say that this post will be short, I actually mean it this time! lol
I don't have a lot new to add to my discussion from last week (I covered a lot between the post and my comment on it). Suffice to say that I'm questioning the value of reading the Bible literally. I do not believe the Gospels were necessarily meant to convey historical truths as much as they were meant to convey the mysteries of the God-experience the early Christians found in Jesus. (Read "Jesus for the Non-Religious" by John Shelby Spong for information about how the Gospels follow liturgical patterns).
Additionally, the earliest texts on the resurrection were from Paul, and they never specifically identify the resurrection as a physical, earthly one. In fact, they leave out many details about the crucifixion and "betrayal" that the Gospels, written many years later, gradually add. The resurrection, some scholars believe, was originally a spiritual one to explain how the Christ-experience didn't die with Christ. Mark, the first Gospel written, does not have any witnesses to the resurrection. The last few verses in that Gospel that identify the resurrection story are only included in later texts. As well, the Gospels do not agree on the details about the resurrection. There are many contradictions. Why is it so necessary for us to believe that Christ had a physical resurrection? I don't think it is. Early Christians were trying to avoid the sticky question of how the Christ could die. But if you see the crucifixion as a symbol of God's love, then a spiritual resurrection is perfectly adequate.
Am I making any sense at all? I feel like I'm babbling with my thoughts randomly spitting out. That's how I think sometimes. Oh - another thing. A lot of scholars believe that the "miracles" of the New Testament were actually how the early Jews tried to explain how they experienced God through Jesus. Most of the miracles and other prophesy-fulfilling details are not historically accurate, necessarily, but are the Jewish Christians' way of attributing to Jesus the signs of the Christ Messiah. They were symbolic liturgies developed, as some scholars postulate, to help the early Christians process the life and experience of Jesus.
Anywho, as for me, I start my Borders job on Tuesday. I signed a contract with the Truth Co-op (on Washtenaw) this Thursday, so I will be living on campus next year. Other than that, I've just been reading and cultivating relationships. :)
I don't have a lot new to add to my discussion from last week (I covered a lot between the post and my comment on it). Suffice to say that I'm questioning the value of reading the Bible literally. I do not believe the Gospels were necessarily meant to convey historical truths as much as they were meant to convey the mysteries of the God-experience the early Christians found in Jesus. (Read "Jesus for the Non-Religious" by John Shelby Spong for information about how the Gospels follow liturgical patterns).
Additionally, the earliest texts on the resurrection were from Paul, and they never specifically identify the resurrection as a physical, earthly one. In fact, they leave out many details about the crucifixion and "betrayal" that the Gospels, written many years later, gradually add. The resurrection, some scholars believe, was originally a spiritual one to explain how the Christ-experience didn't die with Christ. Mark, the first Gospel written, does not have any witnesses to the resurrection. The last few verses in that Gospel that identify the resurrection story are only included in later texts. As well, the Gospels do not agree on the details about the resurrection. There are many contradictions. Why is it so necessary for us to believe that Christ had a physical resurrection? I don't think it is. Early Christians were trying to avoid the sticky question of how the Christ could die. But if you see the crucifixion as a symbol of God's love, then a spiritual resurrection is perfectly adequate.
Am I making any sense at all? I feel like I'm babbling with my thoughts randomly spitting out. That's how I think sometimes. Oh - another thing. A lot of scholars believe that the "miracles" of the New Testament were actually how the early Jews tried to explain how they experienced God through Jesus. Most of the miracles and other prophesy-fulfilling details are not historically accurate, necessarily, but are the Jewish Christians' way of attributing to Jesus the signs of the Christ Messiah. They were symbolic liturgies developed, as some scholars postulate, to help the early Christians process the life and experience of Jesus.
Anywho, as for me, I start my Borders job on Tuesday. I signed a contract with the Truth Co-op (on Washtenaw) this Thursday, so I will be living on campus next year. Other than that, I've just been reading and cultivating relationships. :)
Friday, July 23, 2010
:)
hi everyone.....so i've obviously been neglecting this...but since i've posted last i visited dalbert and i loved it. it was sooo good to see him. speedway has been there..hahaha but i will miss some of this people i work with..ok tops three people haha. But in terms spiritually, i haven't really been reading my bible but i still continue to go to my home church. but God has been SO good lately. he has really calmed my spirit as i learn to trust him more..haha took me long enough....he has calmed me about my future and finances with school. I was really worried because I didn't get this scholarship again because my mom doesn't live in kent county anymore so i was really upset. But he has really come through and i think i may have to pay less this year than i had to last year. I also heard this really good sermon at church on sunday. At first I didn't want to go to church because I thought it would be super boring and i would fall asleep. But it was about never giving up on God, the miracles you have been praying for could be right around the corner but you have given up. Like the prayers will never come true if YOU give up. I hope im explaining this well because i really liked it. I have been praying for a long time for family members to be saved and it gave me more motivation. i have been reading 1 Corinthians and trying to find so answers to many questions i have about living in christ...like about relationships with people, etc. but i definitely need to pray on it because some things i just dont understand...hahaha
Monday, July 19, 2010
erica's post :)
today, i read through Mark 1 and Jeremiah 14 and 15 (because i missed a couple days' worth of devotions >< )
since we've been reading through the book of mark in life group, it wasn't that long ago that i read through this book but it was still nice for me to revisit it and remember what i learned from it when we read it together at the beginning of summer, and also trying to learn new things from it.
- one thing i noticed was that the gospel of Mark specifically states that the story of Jesus begins with a prophesy about John the Baptist. it really shows that John the Baptist "prepared the way" for Jesus, and that the story of Jesus starts with prophesies made about him in the old testament; his story can't be understood entirely without them. part of Jesus' legitimacy as the Son of God comes from the fact that he fulfilled all those prophesies, after all.
- another thing i noticed was that, right after John the Baptist says "after me will come one more powerful than i, the thongs of whose sandals i am not worthy to stoop down and untie." Jesus shows up and asks him to baptize him, hahah. it reminds me that although Jesus doesn't need to, he regularly chooses to use those who have the humility and wisdom to understand their positions relative to God. i pray that we will both be able to have that kind of an understanding, to know how unworthy we are to worship or commune with God, to remember always that we are merely jars of clay (2 corinthians 4:7).
- i remember one of the huddle groups sharing that they had observed how mission-minded Jesus is. he's singularly focused on what he was sent to do. if i were him, i probably would have just stayed in Capernaum - his ministry was so successful, hahah. everybody loved him and wanted to hear him preach (it says in verse 33 that the whole town gathered outside Simon's mother-in-law's house to hear him preach and heal people). but Jesus says, "let us go somewhere else - to the nearby villages- so i can preach there also. that is why i have come" (v. 38)
- i love how Mark records down the fact that Jesus slipped out really early in the morning and prayed, and it took his disciples so long to find him and tell him that everybody was looking for him. it reminds me of something i'm really fighting to remember all the time. my life is about my relationship with God. ministry and spending time with people is great and everything, but my relationship with God needs to come first. i think i shared this with you already, but nayoung really challenged me to deepen and treasure and cultivate my relationship with God this coming year. she said to me, "yeah, next year's not going to be easy, it sounds like you're going to be really busy. but so long as your relationship with God is ok, everything will work out." this past week, i hit a lot of snags and arguments with people, and i often feel so unmotivated and lazy, hahah. i barely spent time with God, and as a result everything i did felt really... empty. nothing felt right. i need to fight my heart to spend time with God. a friend said to me the other day that she feels like she really has to fight herself to spend time with God. she knows it's good, but she just can't make herself do it. and she told me that one time as she was about to board the plane, she said to herself, ok i HAVE TO READ THE BIBLE. so she packed nothing but her bible for the plane ride so that she would read it hahahahahahha. that's how i need to be fighting to spend time with God.
i think last week i felt really discouraged because i wanted to do all these other things instead of spending time with God, and because the desire to do other things was so strong, i felt discouraged by the fact that i wanted to read God's word so little, so i just decided not to do it altogether. but when i finally sat down one day and made myself do my devotions, i felt God saying to me, the problem isn't that you are tempted. of course there will be days when you don't want to read my word. you're still living in your sinful flesh so obviously you're going to want to do other things all the time. the problem is that you didn't turn away from these temptations, and realize that obedience to me is so much better. you just gave up.
God, i pray for the strength to be like Jesus, and do whatever it takes to guard my quiet time with you every single day. and i pray the same for my sisters as well :)
since we've been reading through the book of mark in life group, it wasn't that long ago that i read through this book but it was still nice for me to revisit it and remember what i learned from it when we read it together at the beginning of summer, and also trying to learn new things from it.
- one thing i noticed was that the gospel of Mark specifically states that the story of Jesus begins with a prophesy about John the Baptist. it really shows that John the Baptist "prepared the way" for Jesus, and that the story of Jesus starts with prophesies made about him in the old testament; his story can't be understood entirely without them. part of Jesus' legitimacy as the Son of God comes from the fact that he fulfilled all those prophesies, after all.
- another thing i noticed was that, right after John the Baptist says "after me will come one more powerful than i, the thongs of whose sandals i am not worthy to stoop down and untie." Jesus shows up and asks him to baptize him, hahah. it reminds me that although Jesus doesn't need to, he regularly chooses to use those who have the humility and wisdom to understand their positions relative to God. i pray that we will both be able to have that kind of an understanding, to know how unworthy we are to worship or commune with God, to remember always that we are merely jars of clay (2 corinthians 4:7).
- i remember one of the huddle groups sharing that they had observed how mission-minded Jesus is. he's singularly focused on what he was sent to do. if i were him, i probably would have just stayed in Capernaum - his ministry was so successful, hahah. everybody loved him and wanted to hear him preach (it says in verse 33 that the whole town gathered outside Simon's mother-in-law's house to hear him preach and heal people). but Jesus says, "let us go somewhere else - to the nearby villages- so i can preach there also. that is why i have come" (v. 38)
- i love how Mark records down the fact that Jesus slipped out really early in the morning and prayed, and it took his disciples so long to find him and tell him that everybody was looking for him. it reminds me of something i'm really fighting to remember all the time. my life is about my relationship with God. ministry and spending time with people is great and everything, but my relationship with God needs to come first. i think i shared this with you already, but nayoung really challenged me to deepen and treasure and cultivate my relationship with God this coming year. she said to me, "yeah, next year's not going to be easy, it sounds like you're going to be really busy. but so long as your relationship with God is ok, everything will work out." this past week, i hit a lot of snags and arguments with people, and i often feel so unmotivated and lazy, hahah. i barely spent time with God, and as a result everything i did felt really... empty. nothing felt right. i need to fight my heart to spend time with God. a friend said to me the other day that she feels like she really has to fight herself to spend time with God. she knows it's good, but she just can't make herself do it. and she told me that one time as she was about to board the plane, she said to herself, ok i HAVE TO READ THE BIBLE. so she packed nothing but her bible for the plane ride so that she would read it hahahahahahha. that's how i need to be fighting to spend time with God.
i think last week i felt really discouraged because i wanted to do all these other things instead of spending time with God, and because the desire to do other things was so strong, i felt discouraged by the fact that i wanted to read God's word so little, so i just decided not to do it altogether. but when i finally sat down one day and made myself do my devotions, i felt God saying to me, the problem isn't that you are tempted. of course there will be days when you don't want to read my word. you're still living in your sinful flesh so obviously you're going to want to do other things all the time. the problem is that you didn't turn away from these temptations, and realize that obedience to me is so much better. you just gave up.
God, i pray for the strength to be like Jesus, and do whatever it takes to guard my quiet time with you every single day. and i pray the same for my sisters as well :)
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Sav on Saturday
This is going to be short because .... ok, so I don't have a good reason for it being short, but it will be. lol
Anywho, I've been thinking a lot about Christ's death and resurrection. Just trying to comprehend it, I guess. Like, I'm not sure I believe in Original Sin. It does not make sense to me that God would punish all mankind for the sins of Adam and Eve, who are mythological figures anyways. What really was so bad about the tree in the center of the garden? Why would God create an arbitrary rule about not eating its fruit and then command us to obey Him blindly, trusting that He has a good reason? Sounds more like ancient people trying to make sense of why evil exists.
And why would God demand blood in exchange for the supposed "sins" of mankind? Isn't that a bit primitive and heartlessly demanding? It hearkens back to the way biblical people saw sacrifices as necessary to atone for their conscious and unconscious offenses against the tribal God who provided for them. If the death of Christ truly is a physical and spiritual atonement for the evils of mankind, why would God create a world in which death was a punishment for falling short of perfection?
If the death of Christ is more of a symbol of God's infinite love for people, it makes more sense. Then the acts of Christ culminate logically in this ultimate show of how we should love and live for others. His resurrection, then, is less of a divine miracle and more of a symbol for the idea that life does not end after death - God is the God of the living, not the dead. That should ease our minds about eternity.
I know this is going to sound heretical, but I'm not even sure I believe in hell. When Jesus spoke about Hell, he spoke about it with reference to self-righteous pharisees and leaders who mislead others. It seems more of a lesson that actions have consequences and that such behavior is not tolerable, than a lesson on the literal existence of a hell. No loving God wants His people to be eternally punished just because they did not believe a certain doctrine in their short life. Yes, people have free will, but everyone is making the best decisions they can with the information they have in that moment. No one deserves eternal death. If you believe in original sin, you believe that everyone deserves death, but if you believe that man is made in God's image, then you see man as striving nobly to live as best as he can, deserving of mercy and grace.
I guess my "problem", if you call it that, is that I don't necessarily believe in the inerrancy of the Bible. I think the Bible tells us about how ancient peoples understood and related to their God. We can learn from such stories and lessons, as the Bible says all scripture is useful for teaching. That doesn't mean it is all completely true. It is how fallible humans perceive the world. A God that we can understand and box within a certain doctrine is not God.
Please don't misunderstand me, I believe Jesus is divine and brought to humans a revolutionary understanding of how to live in love, a concept that transcended the tribal boundaries of the world existing then. We should follow His model of how to act and think, but we are in danger of becoming like the doctrinally-focused pharisees and saduccees of that age. They believed that humans had to act in a certain way and believe a certain thing about God to be saved. Modern Christians walk that line in requiring people to be "born again" and accept unconditionally the fundamentals of the faith. Jesus never preached a doctrine, he preached a way of life, a way of bringing the kingdom of heaven, of God, to earth. He encouraged thinking through the use of parables, he encouraged questions by asking them.
Anywho, so much for a short post! I know I've been sort of thinking out loud and that I've certainly disturbed a few of you with the directions of my thoughts, but this is where I am. I don't want to lie about what I am thinking or project the image of a blindly following Christian. That's not who I am. I will continue to think and question because God gave me a brain and expects me to use it. I'll probably come back next Saturday with completely different ideas, but that is the beauty of the evolution of thought! We can change and move forward, a natural process!
So, about me...I start my job at Borders soon. I'm thinking about trying to find a room to rent on campus or trying to join a co-op just so I don't have to commute all year. My parents aren't happy about the idea though, so I'm not sure if it will go anywhere. We got back from Tennessee on Wednesday, so I've mostly been reading since then. I'm currently reading "A New Christianity for a New World" by Bishop John Shelby Spong. It has some faulty thought processes and questionable "facts" but the foundational ideas of the book are intriguing nonetheless. Anywho, I also got accepted into UROP for next year, so I've been rearranging my schedule. Fun stuff. lol I hope you all are doing well! I miss you all and hope to visit Ann Arbor soon!
Anywho, I've been thinking a lot about Christ's death and resurrection. Just trying to comprehend it, I guess. Like, I'm not sure I believe in Original Sin. It does not make sense to me that God would punish all mankind for the sins of Adam and Eve, who are mythological figures anyways. What really was so bad about the tree in the center of the garden? Why would God create an arbitrary rule about not eating its fruit and then command us to obey Him blindly, trusting that He has a good reason? Sounds more like ancient people trying to make sense of why evil exists.
And why would God demand blood in exchange for the supposed "sins" of mankind? Isn't that a bit primitive and heartlessly demanding? It hearkens back to the way biblical people saw sacrifices as necessary to atone for their conscious and unconscious offenses against the tribal God who provided for them. If the death of Christ truly is a physical and spiritual atonement for the evils of mankind, why would God create a world in which death was a punishment for falling short of perfection?
If the death of Christ is more of a symbol of God's infinite love for people, it makes more sense. Then the acts of Christ culminate logically in this ultimate show of how we should love and live for others. His resurrection, then, is less of a divine miracle and more of a symbol for the idea that life does not end after death - God is the God of the living, not the dead. That should ease our minds about eternity.
I know this is going to sound heretical, but I'm not even sure I believe in hell. When Jesus spoke about Hell, he spoke about it with reference to self-righteous pharisees and leaders who mislead others. It seems more of a lesson that actions have consequences and that such behavior is not tolerable, than a lesson on the literal existence of a hell. No loving God wants His people to be eternally punished just because they did not believe a certain doctrine in their short life. Yes, people have free will, but everyone is making the best decisions they can with the information they have in that moment. No one deserves eternal death. If you believe in original sin, you believe that everyone deserves death, but if you believe that man is made in God's image, then you see man as striving nobly to live as best as he can, deserving of mercy and grace.
I guess my "problem", if you call it that, is that I don't necessarily believe in the inerrancy of the Bible. I think the Bible tells us about how ancient peoples understood and related to their God. We can learn from such stories and lessons, as the Bible says all scripture is useful for teaching. That doesn't mean it is all completely true. It is how fallible humans perceive the world. A God that we can understand and box within a certain doctrine is not God.
Please don't misunderstand me, I believe Jesus is divine and brought to humans a revolutionary understanding of how to live in love, a concept that transcended the tribal boundaries of the world existing then. We should follow His model of how to act and think, but we are in danger of becoming like the doctrinally-focused pharisees and saduccees of that age. They believed that humans had to act in a certain way and believe a certain thing about God to be saved. Modern Christians walk that line in requiring people to be "born again" and accept unconditionally the fundamentals of the faith. Jesus never preached a doctrine, he preached a way of life, a way of bringing the kingdom of heaven, of God, to earth. He encouraged thinking through the use of parables, he encouraged questions by asking them.
Anywho, so much for a short post! I know I've been sort of thinking out loud and that I've certainly disturbed a few of you with the directions of my thoughts, but this is where I am. I don't want to lie about what I am thinking or project the image of a blindly following Christian. That's not who I am. I will continue to think and question because God gave me a brain and expects me to use it. I'll probably come back next Saturday with completely different ideas, but that is the beauty of the evolution of thought! We can change and move forward, a natural process!
So, about me...I start my job at Borders soon. I'm thinking about trying to find a room to rent on campus or trying to join a co-op just so I don't have to commute all year. My parents aren't happy about the idea though, so I'm not sure if it will go anywhere. We got back from Tennessee on Wednesday, so I've mostly been reading since then. I'm currently reading "A New Christianity for a New World" by Bishop John Shelby Spong. It has some faulty thought processes and questionable "facts" but the foundational ideas of the book are intriguing nonetheless. Anywho, I also got accepted into UROP for next year, so I've been rearranging my schedule. Fun stuff. lol I hope you all are doing well! I miss you all and hope to visit Ann Arbor soon!
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Wednesday
Hellooooooo!!
I'm not sure I'm actually writing this to anyone since our blog has been pretty sparse lately (I know my posts have been sporadic too) but I decided to post anyway!
I'm reading through Isaiah and Revelation right now. I'm still pretty behind on the BRP, but I guess what really matters is not where I am but whether or not I'm able to dig in deep and understand God more through what I read.
I really like Isaiah 31. In my Bible the passage is titled "Alliance with Egypt is Futile."
Here's a small part:
"Alas for those who go down to Egypt for help
and who rely on horses,
who trust in chariots because there are many
and in horseman because they are very strong,
but do not look to the Holy One of Israel
or consult the LORD!
The Egyptians are human, and not God;
their horses are flesh, and not spirit.
When the LORD stretches out his hand,
the helper will stumble, and the one helped will fall,
and they will all perish together."
-Isaiah 31:1, 3
Here, Isaiah addresses the Israelites, who in battle turn to the Egyptians, their former oppressors, rather than to God who has repeatedly delivered them. How many times have I similarly chosen support based on wrong impressions? How many times have I chosen my own plans or the people I thought best able to provide advice rather than following God and also allowing Him to place people in my life able to speak wisdom into a situation I was going through, regardless of external "qualifications"? I see God's provision again and again, yet I turn back to my self-sufficiency. I know God is eternal and all other support temporary and yet I fail again and again to make decisions in light of that truth.
After reading this passage, I kept reflecting on the idea of being a vessel--broken, cracked, yet God slowly heals me and mends the cracks. Then, as His grace and love flow freely, they fill the vessel to the brim, then overflowing. At this, I take the vessel back into my control--treating God more as a repairman than a father and master, as my creator. I tend to think that though He created me and "fixed" the cracks made by my own and others' sin, I can do the maintenance alone. But I can't. Every time I turn back to my own self-sufficiency, the cracks reform and I can no longer hold God's grace. He continues to pour it in, but it leaks out. He continues to reach out to mend me, but its hard to fix something always on the move...and so, eventually, I return again to God, entirely crumbled again, often unable to move...and He patiently mends me again.
Instead of repeating this cycle of self-sufficiency and resultant brokenness, I hope to really learn an attitude of constant dependence, and an ability to wait quietly in God's presence. Of course, God is constantly redeeming me, but to ever go further, deeper, I need to remain in His presence and rely on Him consistently!
"I know your works, your toil and your patient endurance. I know that you cannot tolerate evildoers; you have tested those who claim to be apostles, but are not, and have found them to be false. I also know that you are enduring patiently and bearing up for the sake of my name, and that you have not grown weary. But I have this against you, that you have abandoned the love you had at first. Remember then from what you have fallen; repent, and do the works you did at first." --Revelation 2:2-5a
Things have been getting a little bit busier around here. Excel (the kids ESL classes that HMCC does) started up last week and I'm working in Rainbow class two mornings a week--kids going into the 3rd grade. It's a lot of fun and I really like the praise songs like the hippo one and undignified. If you don't know them, I'll teach them to you when you're back in Ann Arbor. They're hilarious!! Also, my ESL class just started our field work teaching migrant farm workers down in Manchester. Our first day was utterly chaotic but a lot of fun, and I'm looking forward to going back tomorrow night. Other than those two things, working, and meeting up with people, summer has still been pretty chill. I've recently been really addicted to The Office and I made it through the first two seasons in the last week. haha
Hope you are all doing well too!! :)
I'm not sure I'm actually writing this to anyone since our blog has been pretty sparse lately (I know my posts have been sporadic too) but I decided to post anyway!
I'm reading through Isaiah and Revelation right now. I'm still pretty behind on the BRP, but I guess what really matters is not where I am but whether or not I'm able to dig in deep and understand God more through what I read.
I really like Isaiah 31. In my Bible the passage is titled "Alliance with Egypt is Futile."
Here's a small part:
"Alas for those who go down to Egypt for help
and who rely on horses,
who trust in chariots because there are many
and in horseman because they are very strong,
but do not look to the Holy One of Israel
or consult the LORD!
The Egyptians are human, and not God;
their horses are flesh, and not spirit.
When the LORD stretches out his hand,
the helper will stumble, and the one helped will fall,
and they will all perish together."
-Isaiah 31:1, 3
Here, Isaiah addresses the Israelites, who in battle turn to the Egyptians, their former oppressors, rather than to God who has repeatedly delivered them. How many times have I similarly chosen support based on wrong impressions? How many times have I chosen my own plans or the people I thought best able to provide advice rather than following God and also allowing Him to place people in my life able to speak wisdom into a situation I was going through, regardless of external "qualifications"? I see God's provision again and again, yet I turn back to my self-sufficiency. I know God is eternal and all other support temporary and yet I fail again and again to make decisions in light of that truth.
After reading this passage, I kept reflecting on the idea of being a vessel--broken, cracked, yet God slowly heals me and mends the cracks. Then, as His grace and love flow freely, they fill the vessel to the brim, then overflowing. At this, I take the vessel back into my control--treating God more as a repairman than a father and master, as my creator. I tend to think that though He created me and "fixed" the cracks made by my own and others' sin, I can do the maintenance alone. But I can't. Every time I turn back to my own self-sufficiency, the cracks reform and I can no longer hold God's grace. He continues to pour it in, but it leaks out. He continues to reach out to mend me, but its hard to fix something always on the move...and so, eventually, I return again to God, entirely crumbled again, often unable to move...and He patiently mends me again.
Instead of repeating this cycle of self-sufficiency and resultant brokenness, I hope to really learn an attitude of constant dependence, and an ability to wait quietly in God's presence. Of course, God is constantly redeeming me, but to ever go further, deeper, I need to remain in His presence and rely on Him consistently!
"I know your works, your toil and your patient endurance. I know that you cannot tolerate evildoers; you have tested those who claim to be apostles, but are not, and have found them to be false. I also know that you are enduring patiently and bearing up for the sake of my name, and that you have not grown weary. But I have this against you, that you have abandoned the love you had at first. Remember then from what you have fallen; repent, and do the works you did at first." --Revelation 2:2-5a
Things have been getting a little bit busier around here. Excel (the kids ESL classes that HMCC does) started up last week and I'm working in Rainbow class two mornings a week--kids going into the 3rd grade. It's a lot of fun and I really like the praise songs like the hippo one and undignified. If you don't know them, I'll teach them to you when you're back in Ann Arbor. They're hilarious!! Also, my ESL class just started our field work teaching migrant farm workers down in Manchester. Our first day was utterly chaotic but a lot of fun, and I'm looking forward to going back tomorrow night. Other than those two things, working, and meeting up with people, summer has still been pretty chill. I've recently been really addicted to The Office and I made it through the first two seasons in the last week. haha
Hope you are all doing well too!! :)
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Sav on Saturday
I am currently reading a very thought-provoking book called “Stealing Jesus: How Fundamentalism Betrays Christianity” by Bruce Bawer. It challenges a lot of our tightly held convictions by pointing to scripture, experience, and historical context. I highly recommend reading it, especially if you like to think and question.
One thing that really hit me was a passage from 1 Corinthians 13. We've all read and heard this chapter a million times. It is probably one of the most famous New Testament passages. But look at that last verse one more time: “There are three things that last forever: faith, hope, and love; and the greatest of the three is love”. Did you catch that? Love is greater than faith. Love transcends doubt. Love is the most everlasting “thing”.
Think about it, when asked what is the greatest commandment, Jesus says that it is to love God, and the second is to love your neighbor. Jesus did not preach a doctrine or a theology, he preached parables and did miracles. He walked in love and taught in love. His death on the cross and his resurrection are powerful symbols of God's love for his people – everyone.
Jesus ministered to and walked with outcasts while he was on this earth. He declared taxpayers and prostitutes to be closer to the kingdom of God than the righteous pharisees. And the kingdom of God was not just something in the afterlife, it was a powerful experience of living in God's love on earth.
I'm not even halfway through with this book, but it is simply amazing. Not because it preaches something new and different, but because it tells me what I already know in my heart to be true. Too often, we dismiss the power of the Holy Spirit and declare that we cannot trust our emotions or our logic. Nothing could be further from the truth. How else does the Holy Spirit live and work in us today? The Bible says that all men will be held accountable for their beliefs and actions because they know in their heart there is a God – God is present in nature and in our lives. What does specific doctrine and theology matter if a man or woman has the love of God in their hearts? Is not that person, that “social outcast” (outcast for not perhaps being a Christian in name) closer to the kingdom of God than those of us who are self-righteous?
Anywho, I've gone on long enough. Just wanted to give you some things to think about.
I'm still in Tennessee visiting family until Wednesday. Nothing too exciting has happened. I've mostly been doing a lot of reading, phone talking, and thinking about my fall plans. I'll try to give a more detailed update in the future.... Hope you all are well and enjoying the freedom of thought!
One thing that really hit me was a passage from 1 Corinthians 13. We've all read and heard this chapter a million times. It is probably one of the most famous New Testament passages. But look at that last verse one more time: “There are three things that last forever: faith, hope, and love; and the greatest of the three is love”. Did you catch that? Love is greater than faith. Love transcends doubt. Love is the most everlasting “thing”.
Think about it, when asked what is the greatest commandment, Jesus says that it is to love God, and the second is to love your neighbor. Jesus did not preach a doctrine or a theology, he preached parables and did miracles. He walked in love and taught in love. His death on the cross and his resurrection are powerful symbols of God's love for his people – everyone.
Jesus ministered to and walked with outcasts while he was on this earth. He declared taxpayers and prostitutes to be closer to the kingdom of God than the righteous pharisees. And the kingdom of God was not just something in the afterlife, it was a powerful experience of living in God's love on earth.
I'm not even halfway through with this book, but it is simply amazing. Not because it preaches something new and different, but because it tells me what I already know in my heart to be true. Too often, we dismiss the power of the Holy Spirit and declare that we cannot trust our emotions or our logic. Nothing could be further from the truth. How else does the Holy Spirit live and work in us today? The Bible says that all men will be held accountable for their beliefs and actions because they know in their heart there is a God – God is present in nature and in our lives. What does specific doctrine and theology matter if a man or woman has the love of God in their hearts? Is not that person, that “social outcast” (outcast for not perhaps being a Christian in name) closer to the kingdom of God than those of us who are self-righteous?
Anywho, I've gone on long enough. Just wanted to give you some things to think about.
I'm still in Tennessee visiting family until Wednesday. Nothing too exciting has happened. I've mostly been doing a lot of reading, phone talking, and thinking about my fall plans. I'll try to give a more detailed update in the future.... Hope you all are well and enjoying the freedom of thought!
Thursday, July 8, 2010
very very late... :(
well actually in the states i'm not that late hahah. but here in hk it's already thursday night, so i'm two nights late :(
anyway, today hasn't been very good :( i didn't do my quiet time today even though i definitely had enough time. i fasted from my laptop today so that i would spend more time with my family, and ended up spending time with my sister playing guitar with her, so that was nice :) but i ended up napping and then just wasting time instead of doing my quiet time. i really need to fight for that singular passion for God. i've been realizing lately, especially now that i'm home and a lot of my weaknesses and faults are becoming more obvious, that i live under a lot of idols. i don't have a singular passion for God; instead i make life about a lot of other different things and i worry and chase after worldly things. i don't trust in God, i don't rest in him the way i should.
anyway, i wanted to share with you my quiet time from yesterday because God really spoke to me through jeremiah 2-3.
jeremiah 2 talked a lot about how life without God is completely miserable:
v. 5: They followed worthless idols
and became worthless themselves.
i was talking to a pre-Christian friend the other day, and she asked me, "what makes you so sure that obeying God/living for him is the best way for you to live?" and as i was trying to answer her, i realized that what really makes me so sure is that God has convinced me utterly that life with him, a life of obedience, living within the lines he's drawn out for me through his laws, is truly life in abundance. he's convinced me utterly of his existence and his love for me, and this is my response to him. jeremiah 2 was a really good reminder for that.
in jeremiah 3, i really liked verse 22:
22 "Return, faithless people;
I will cure you of backsliding."
"Yes, we will come to you,
for you are the LORD our God."
i feel like this is such a beautiful dialogue between God and the Israelites. God says to them, i know you've been faithless, but all you have to do is come back to me, and i'll take your weaknesses and show my strength through them; i'll cure you of your backsliding. and then the Israelites answer: "Yes, we'll come back. we know you and you alone love us this much, and you are the best thing for us in this entire world."
in matthew, i've also been learning a lot about the importance of faith. Jesus tells almost every person he heals, "your faith heals you." or something along those lines. it's not like Jesus could possibly be limited by the amount of faith someone has, but i think Jesus' saying this every time demonstrates how much importance God places on faith in a person's life. i know the Bible defines faith as being confident of what we cannot see, and i think that once you acknowledge God's existence and his right over you as lord of your life and creator of everything in this world, you give him the permission to do his work in your life.
i've also been praying through the psalms (rather inconsistently... :( ) and yesterday, i prayed through psalm 4.
6 Many are asking, "Who can show us any good?"
Let the light of your face shine upon us, O LORD.
7 You have filled my heart with greater joy
than when their grain and new wine abound.
8 I will lie down and sleep in peace,
for you alone, O LORD,
make me dwell in safety.
Lord, i ask that you would take my life, and take the lives of all my sisters as well, and truly let the light of your face shine upon us. thoroughly convince us of how utterly you deserve to be first in our lives, how utterly obedience unto you is truly the way to live, how your joy and your providence is all we need in this life. God, as we live this out, as we offer ourselves to you as living sacrifices, i pray that you will utterly convince us that your will is good, perfect and pleasing. and then may those around us who are seeking for something more to this life, may those of us who ask "who can show us any good?" see the extraordinariness of our lives, and be captured by that glimpse of you they see in us, and be drawn into a life of abundance with you as well.
ok. must sleep. ><
loveee you girls!!! one more month until i'm back. so much and so little time, all at the same instant hahah
anyway, today hasn't been very good :( i didn't do my quiet time today even though i definitely had enough time. i fasted from my laptop today so that i would spend more time with my family, and ended up spending time with my sister playing guitar with her, so that was nice :) but i ended up napping and then just wasting time instead of doing my quiet time. i really need to fight for that singular passion for God. i've been realizing lately, especially now that i'm home and a lot of my weaknesses and faults are becoming more obvious, that i live under a lot of idols. i don't have a singular passion for God; instead i make life about a lot of other different things and i worry and chase after worldly things. i don't trust in God, i don't rest in him the way i should.
anyway, i wanted to share with you my quiet time from yesterday because God really spoke to me through jeremiah 2-3.
jeremiah 2 talked a lot about how life without God is completely miserable:
v. 5: They followed worthless idols
and became worthless themselves.
i was talking to a pre-Christian friend the other day, and she asked me, "what makes you so sure that obeying God/living for him is the best way for you to live?" and as i was trying to answer her, i realized that what really makes me so sure is that God has convinced me utterly that life with him, a life of obedience, living within the lines he's drawn out for me through his laws, is truly life in abundance. he's convinced me utterly of his existence and his love for me, and this is my response to him. jeremiah 2 was a really good reminder for that.
in jeremiah 3, i really liked verse 22:
22 "Return, faithless people;
I will cure you of backsliding."
"Yes, we will come to you,
for you are the LORD our God."
i feel like this is such a beautiful dialogue between God and the Israelites. God says to them, i know you've been faithless, but all you have to do is come back to me, and i'll take your weaknesses and show my strength through them; i'll cure you of your backsliding. and then the Israelites answer: "Yes, we'll come back. we know you and you alone love us this much, and you are the best thing for us in this entire world."
in matthew, i've also been learning a lot about the importance of faith. Jesus tells almost every person he heals, "your faith heals you." or something along those lines. it's not like Jesus could possibly be limited by the amount of faith someone has, but i think Jesus' saying this every time demonstrates how much importance God places on faith in a person's life. i know the Bible defines faith as being confident of what we cannot see, and i think that once you acknowledge God's existence and his right over you as lord of your life and creator of everything in this world, you give him the permission to do his work in your life.
i've also been praying through the psalms (rather inconsistently... :( ) and yesterday, i prayed through psalm 4.
6 Many are asking, "Who can show us any good?"
Let the light of your face shine upon us, O LORD.
7 You have filled my heart with greater joy
than when their grain and new wine abound.
8 I will lie down and sleep in peace,
for you alone, O LORD,
make me dwell in safety.
Lord, i ask that you would take my life, and take the lives of all my sisters as well, and truly let the light of your face shine upon us. thoroughly convince us of how utterly you deserve to be first in our lives, how utterly obedience unto you is truly the way to live, how your joy and your providence is all we need in this life. God, as we live this out, as we offer ourselves to you as living sacrifices, i pray that you will utterly convince us that your will is good, perfect and pleasing. and then may those around us who are seeking for something more to this life, may those of us who ask "who can show us any good?" see the extraordinariness of our lives, and be captured by that glimpse of you they see in us, and be drawn into a life of abundance with you as well.
ok. must sleep. ><
loveee you girls!!! one more month until i'm back. so much and so little time, all at the same instant hahah
Saturday, July 3, 2010
Sav on Saturday
This will unfortunately be short as I am very tired and have an important phone call to make before it gets too late.
I've been reading this book called "Becoming a Vessel God Can Use" by Donna Partow. I actually went with her on a mission trip to Peru several years ago, and I found her to be a very prophetic, spirit-filled woman. The first week of devotions in the book dealt with "understanding how and why God uses imperfect vessels."
I really liked the week's focus verse from Isaiah 55:8-9. At one point, I had that chapter memorized. "'For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,' declares the Lord. 'As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.'"
I tend to forget just how much higher God's plans and thoughts are than mine! I think that mine are the real deal, the final word. But they're not, thank goodness! God has a plan to use an imperfect vessel like me because that will bring Him glory. Rather than pointing at me and praising me, others will realize that in my weakness, only God could have used such faults to bring good to the world.
What a relief it is to realize that I do not have to be perfect! I do not even have to be confident. God used Gideon, an insecure, insignificant man/boy to save Israel from the Midianites. Gideon was criticized for his insistence on what God told him, but God does not depend on the support of others to accomplish His plan. Another relief!
So anyways, sorry I have nothing profound to share this week! I traveled with my family to Tennessee to visit relatives on Thursday. We'll be down here until the 14th, and after that, I start my job at Borders (yay!). It's been a bit of a crazy week for several reasons, the main one being a few friendships and relationships I am juggling and trying to figure out. I'll probably elaborate more at another point. Really, I haven't done much besides hang out with family!
I hope ya'll are doing well! Love and miss you.
I've been reading this book called "Becoming a Vessel God Can Use" by Donna Partow. I actually went with her on a mission trip to Peru several years ago, and I found her to be a very prophetic, spirit-filled woman. The first week of devotions in the book dealt with "understanding how and why God uses imperfect vessels."
I really liked the week's focus verse from Isaiah 55:8-9. At one point, I had that chapter memorized. "'For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,' declares the Lord. 'As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.'"
I tend to forget just how much higher God's plans and thoughts are than mine! I think that mine are the real deal, the final word. But they're not, thank goodness! God has a plan to use an imperfect vessel like me because that will bring Him glory. Rather than pointing at me and praising me, others will realize that in my weakness, only God could have used such faults to bring good to the world.
What a relief it is to realize that I do not have to be perfect! I do not even have to be confident. God used Gideon, an insecure, insignificant man/boy to save Israel from the Midianites. Gideon was criticized for his insistence on what God told him, but God does not depend on the support of others to accomplish His plan. Another relief!
So anyways, sorry I have nothing profound to share this week! I traveled with my family to Tennessee to visit relatives on Thursday. We'll be down here until the 14th, and after that, I start my job at Borders (yay!). It's been a bit of a crazy week for several reasons, the main one being a few friendships and relationships I am juggling and trying to figure out. I'll probably elaborate more at another point. Really, I haven't done much besides hang out with family!
I hope ya'll are doing well! Love and miss you.
Thursday, July 1, 2010
oopsie...late again!
I've gotta say, though, it's really cool that we've been able to keep this blog up all the way into July!
I've been reflecting a lot on my pride lately, especially spiritual pride and how it impedes a proper attitude of service within the church. I really liked this passage in Isaiah--I'm still about a month behind in the BRP. The language is pretty strong and definitely rebuked me.
"O LORD, you will ordain peace for us,
for indeed, all that we have done,
you have done for us...
Like a woman with child,
who writhes and cries out in her pangs
when she is near her time,
so were we because of you, O LORD;
we were with child, we writhed,
but we gave birth only to wind.
We have no victories on earth,
and no one is born to inhabit the world."
-Isaiah 26: 12, 16-18
Similarly to what Shelby said, I too often follow God half-heartedly, keeping my plans as a back-up in case what He has for me "doesn't work out"...or more often, keeping God's plans as a back-up because I think I know what's best for me. I'm just realizing again lately how me-centered I am and my life is. Even self-consciousness or attempted modesty are really disguised pride because they're still very centered on myself and not on what God can do.
So I think a few things really struck me about this passage:
1. That everything "I" have done, has really been God, so I should stop trying to take credit for it.
2. That, like a woman in labor, I have struggled and tried to hard to do things on my own, but in the end it all results in nothing ("gave birth only to wind") if God didn't ordain those plans.
3. God will "ordain peace for us" if we follow His plans.
I know this stuff, but I think I still struggle to believe it and place my life on it. I feel like there have been a lot of those sorts of things this summer. I pray that as I have a lot of free time on my hands over these next months, I will really use it to discover more of God's character, and really dig beyond the surface level of what I know to find out what I really believe.
The update is pretty brief here. I spent the weekend at home which was really nice. I spent a lot of quality time with family and the family at my home church. Then Monday and Tuesday my mom and I took a trip up to Grayling and stayed at the cabin of one of the members of our church. It was very relaxing and we had a lot of good convos.
Today, I met with my LCG in the Arb and then decided to stay for a bit of a personal retreat...except I fell asleep for like 2 hours after reflecting for a bit. Oh well. It was relaxing and I got to enjoy the beautiful weather!
holllllllllllllla
ok this week has gone by SO SLOW oh my gosh i can't even wrap my mind around it hahahaa. anyway ummmm i leave tuesday for my trip and im getting excited and i basically am just working until then, both my parents are out of town so its kind of boring/lonely but oh well....my life is really boring since all i do is work so sorry there is nothing new except me complaining about work. Well actually yesterday arlene came and visited me..we went on a 13 mile bike ride downtown and it was really nice seeing her again :)
i have been really trying to trust God more lately and just keep in mind that his plans are greater than my own and that he wants me to suceed and as i continue reading my bible, there is one verse that reminded me of what i need to work on and that is 1 Corinthians 1:8 it says he will keep you strong to the end, so that you will be blameless on the day of our Lord Jesus Christ. Now i dont think that is what they are talking about but I felt a sense of relief when i read he will keep you strong until the end. So i'm guessing that means something :)
i have been really trying to trust God more lately and just keep in mind that his plans are greater than my own and that he wants me to suceed and as i continue reading my bible, there is one verse that reminded me of what i need to work on and that is 1 Corinthians 1:8 it says he will keep you strong to the end, so that you will be blameless on the day of our Lord Jesus Christ. Now i dont think that is what they are talking about but I felt a sense of relief when i read he will keep you strong until the end. So i'm guessing that means something :)
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