very very late... :(

well actually in the states i'm not that late hahah. but here in hk it's already thursday night, so i'm two nights late :(

anyway, today hasn't been very good :( i didn't do my quiet time today even though i definitely had enough time. i fasted from my laptop today so that i would spend more time with my family, and ended up spending time with my sister playing guitar with her, so that was nice :) but i ended up napping and then just wasting time instead of doing my quiet time. i really need to fight for that singular passion for God. i've been realizing lately, especially now that i'm home and a lot of my weaknesses and faults are becoming more obvious, that i live under a lot of idols. i don't have a singular passion for God; instead i make life about a lot of other different things and i worry and chase after worldly things. i don't trust in God, i don't rest in him the way i should.


anyway, i wanted to share with you my quiet time from yesterday because God really spoke to me through jeremiah 2-3.

jeremiah 2 talked a lot about how life without God is completely miserable:
v. 5: They followed worthless idols
and became worthless themselves.

i was talking to a pre-Christian friend the other day, and she asked me, "what makes you so sure that obeying God/living for him is the best way for you to live?" and as i was trying to answer her, i realized that what really makes me so sure is that God has convinced me utterly that life with him, a life of obedience, living within the lines he's drawn out for me through his laws, is truly life in abundance. he's convinced me utterly of his existence and his love for me, and this is my response to him. jeremiah 2 was a really good reminder for that.

in jeremiah 3, i really liked verse 22:

22 "Return, faithless people;
I will cure you of backsliding."
"Yes, we will come to you,
for you are the LORD our God."

i feel like this is such a beautiful dialogue between God and the Israelites. God says to them, i know you've been faithless, but all you have to do is come back to me, and i'll take your weaknesses and show my strength through them; i'll cure you of your backsliding. and then the Israelites answer: "Yes, we'll come back. we know you and you alone love us this much, and you are the best thing for us in this entire world."

in matthew, i've also been learning a lot about the importance of faith. Jesus tells almost every person he heals, "your faith heals you." or something along those lines. it's not like Jesus could possibly be limited by the amount of faith someone has, but i think Jesus' saying this every time demonstrates how much importance God places on faith in a person's life. i know the Bible defines faith as being confident of what we cannot see, and i think that once you acknowledge God's existence and his right over you as lord of your life and creator of everything in this world, you give him the permission to do his work in your life.

i've also been praying through the psalms (rather inconsistently... :( ) and yesterday, i prayed through psalm 4.

6 Many are asking, "Who can show us any good?"
Let the light of your face shine upon us, O LORD.

7 You have filled my heart with greater joy
than when their grain and new wine abound.

8 I will lie down and sleep in peace,
for you alone, O LORD,
make me dwell in safety.

Lord, i ask that you would take my life, and take the lives of all my sisters as well, and truly let the light of your face shine upon us. thoroughly convince us of how utterly you deserve to be first in our lives, how utterly obedience unto you is truly the way to live, how your joy and your providence is all we need in this life. God, as we live this out, as we offer ourselves to you as living sacrifices, i pray that you will utterly convince us that your will is good, perfect and pleasing. and then may those around us who are seeking for something more to this life, may those of us who ask "who can show us any good?" see the extraordinariness of our lives, and be captured by that glimpse of you they see in us, and be drawn into a life of abundance with you as well.

ok. must sleep. ><
loveee you girls!!! one more month until i'm back. so much and so little time, all at the same instant hahah