sorry if i seem kind of incoherent, i am dead tired right now >< but i promised you all i would post, so i'm going to try to be coherent.
so i read revelations 1 from the brp (i am i think about a day behind, hopefully i can fix that tomorrow >< )
i feel like this passage i just read declares a lot of truths about Jesus:
- the book of Revelation is Jesus' message to his servants about what is to come.
- he is the faithful witness, firstborn from the dead, ruler of the kings of the earth
- he made us priests through his death to serve his father
- he loves us and freed us from our sins through his blood
- every eye will see him when he returns, and all the peoples of the earth will mourn because of him"
- he is "like a son of man" and the description offered in v. 13-16 depict someone "glowing" and really powerful and even frightening (John was certainly frightened haah)
- we need not be afraid of him.
another thing that really spoke to me was verse 3: blessed is the one who reads the words of this prophecy, and blessed are those who hear ti and take to heart what is written in it, because the time is near.
that's what obedience is right: hearing it, and then taking it to heart and living it out. i hope i have the strength to do that.
ok good night! i have morning prayer tomorrow ><
Monday, May 31, 2010
Mellow Monday
Hey guys,
So, the BRP is still slow-going, but I am starting to catch up. Today, though, we're going to talk about the devotional-y thing I wrote about last week. :) I read through Psalm 63 today and listened to the song "American Dream" by Switchfoot. Psalm 63 discusses how we need to truly hunger after God, and how He will truly satisfy if we do so. Verses 1-5 really spoke to me:
Going off that, my inconsistent heart has resulted in me not checking out any churches yet this summer. Throughout each week, I feel disappointed in myself and truly desire to go to a church to try and get plugged into a community, but then Sunday morning comes, and I just flat out don't do it. Part of this stems from my shameful, selfish desire to sleep in. The other part of the problem comes from the fact that I tend to be painfully shy and insecure in new/unfamiliar situations, and so the idea of going to a new church (alone) really intimidates me. I know that I just need to suck it up, though, and remember that I'm not actually alone.
Anyway, on to more uplifting updates: I spent most of Saturday and Sunday working at the fudge shop I've worked at the past few summers. It was a nice change (I originally wasn't going to work there at all this summer), and I had a great time catching up with my coworkers who I've worked with in the past. I have to say though, I'm really glad I won't be there all summer because the job itself was really just not that enjoyable. My family had a garage sale last Friday and Saturday, and while it was a bit hard parting with some of the items from my childhood, the extra money will be nice. I spent a fair amount of time with my family this weekend, too, and had a nice dinner with my parents and grandparents last night.
Okay, that's all for now. I miss you guys!!!!!
Love, Shelby
P.S. I'm also currently reading "Fast Food Nation" by Eric Schlosser, and it's soooo amazing! You all should check it out. Really. Go. Do it now. hahah ok bye!! <3
So, the BRP is still slow-going, but I am starting to catch up. Today, though, we're going to talk about the devotional-y thing I wrote about last week. :) I read through Psalm 63 today and listened to the song "American Dream" by Switchfoot. Psalm 63 discusses how we need to truly hunger after God, and how He will truly satisfy if we do so. Verses 1-5 really spoke to me:
1 God, you are my God; I eagerly seek You. I thirst for You; my body faints for You in a land that is dry, desolate, and without water. 2 So I gaze on You in the sanctuary to see Your strength and Your glory. 3 My lips will glorify You because Your faithful love is better than life. 4 So I will praise You as long as I live; at Your name, I will lift up my hands. 5 You satisfy me as with rich food; my mouth will praise You with joyful lips.Between this passage and the song, I think I just realized how completely inept I am, how inconsistent I am, even in desiring to live for God. The song I mentioned talks about how shallow the traditional American Dream really is. Honestly, I usually pride myself on how I don't live for mainstream things, how I don't believe in or give in to corporate America, and my general disregard for people who do buy into these meaningless, shallow things. Really though, just because I'm thinking like a hippie and trying to go somewhat against the grain of society doesn't necessarily mean I'm living for the right things, does it? I mean, the world isn't strictly split into sellouts and Christians, is it? I don't know, I think there are some bigger heart issues there, because I tell myself I'm going against the mainstream because I'm living for God, but am I really still just living selfishly, for my own desires? Ugh, I'm not sure. I do know, though, that I don't currently have the passion and devotion David wrote about in Psalm 63, and I really wish I did. I suppose that's something to pray about - a consistent heart.
Going off that, my inconsistent heart has resulted in me not checking out any churches yet this summer. Throughout each week, I feel disappointed in myself and truly desire to go to a church to try and get plugged into a community, but then Sunday morning comes, and I just flat out don't do it. Part of this stems from my shameful, selfish desire to sleep in. The other part of the problem comes from the fact that I tend to be painfully shy and insecure in new/unfamiliar situations, and so the idea of going to a new church (alone) really intimidates me. I know that I just need to suck it up, though, and remember that I'm not actually alone.
Anyway, on to more uplifting updates: I spent most of Saturday and Sunday working at the fudge shop I've worked at the past few summers. It was a nice change (I originally wasn't going to work there at all this summer), and I had a great time catching up with my coworkers who I've worked with in the past. I have to say though, I'm really glad I won't be there all summer because the job itself was really just not that enjoyable. My family had a garage sale last Friday and Saturday, and while it was a bit hard parting with some of the items from my childhood, the extra money will be nice. I spent a fair amount of time with my family this weekend, too, and had a nice dinner with my parents and grandparents last night.
Okay, that's all for now. I miss you guys!!!!!
Love, Shelby
P.S. I'm also currently reading "Fast Food Nation" by Eric Schlosser, and it's soooo amazing! You all should check it out. Really. Go. Do it now. hahah ok bye!! <3
FAILLL - i missed punishment day #2 AND 3
i didn't get home till... 4 in the morning last night, because i was with my life group, and i only had like 2 hours really to catch my breath at all, and even though i tried to do my quiet time in that 2 hours, i think i'm just really bad at time management. >< class="versenum" id="en-NIV-30677">20But you, dear friends, build yourselves up in your most holy faith and pray in the Holy Spirit. 21Keep yourselves in God's love as you wait for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ to bring you to eternal life.
build yourselves up: that to me implies that there needs to be conscious effort on my part to build my faith up. i need to be trying to grow. (it reminds me of philippians 2:12-13 - Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.) the chinese translation of the verse tells us to build ourselves up with our faith as our foundation, on top of our faith, and to also be praying all the while in the spirit.
again - keep yourselves in God's love. i have literally been seeing this theme repeated and repeated and repeated in all my devotions, and all in relation to building yourself up or guarding your faith or being sure of your salvation, things like that. and so now the question is, how do you keep yourself in God's love?
and the last part of that verse, wait for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ to bring you to eternal life.it's a really good reminder to me that it is only by the grace brought about by Jesus' sacrifice that i can at all enter into heaven.
another verse that stuck out to me was:
22Be merciful to those who doubt; 23snatch others from the fire and save them; to others show mercy, mixed with fear—hating even the clothing stained by corrupted flesh.
i had some trouble understanding what on earth jude was talking about: what does it mean to "show others mercy, mixed with fear", and how is it that i am supposed to love sinners but hate "even the clothing stained by corrupted flesh"? i ended up looking up the passage on matthew henry's commentary (as far as online commentaries go i'm always wary of them because i don't know which one can be trusted, but matthew henry is a very very respected and famous theologian from ages ago (not sure how old, but if you read his stuff you can tell by his style it was a while ago hahahah) and you can easily just google any of his commentaries.), and his commentary gave an explanation that "mercy, mixed with fear" is talking about how with some you would show mercy, others you would try to instill in them a fear of the Lord, and that you are to abhor evil things, and all things that lead to and are associated with sin.
all right, i think this post is now officially long enough, hahah. and i also have to run. i will just conclude by saying that this passage also, to me, seemed to have 2 major themes: contending for the faith, and the characteristics of a "godless man".
ok, will try to blog again later although my schedule today is really tight ><
build yourselves up: that to me implies that there needs to be conscious effort on my part to build my faith up. i need to be trying to grow. (it reminds me of philippians 2:12-13 - Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.) the chinese translation of the verse tells us to build ourselves up with our faith as our foundation, on top of our faith, and to also be praying all the while in the spirit.
again - keep yourselves in God's love. i have literally been seeing this theme repeated and repeated and repeated in all my devotions, and all in relation to building yourself up or guarding your faith or being sure of your salvation, things like that. and so now the question is, how do you keep yourself in God's love?
God can hold us because God’s love has substance. We are told to "keep yourselves in the love of God" (Jude 1:21). The Bible isn’t saying here that you should make sure God keeps loving you. With people that might be true, but not with God. Not at all! Instead, we are to keep ourselves inside the substance of His love. Jesus said it this way: "Abide in My love" (John 15:9). That means we should live inside it. The love of God is a substance that we can stay inside because the love of God is God Himself: "The one who abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him" (1 John 4:16). Direct your heart to refuge yourself in the love that shines from God...to summarize in my own words - abiding/keeping myself in God's love is a conscious act of the will that says: i believe God is good, God can be trusted, and i will open myself to him. and what does Jesus say about loving him? "If you love me, you will obey what I command." (John 14:15) so abiding/keeping myself in God's love also means consciously choosing to obey God every second. temptations and trials will still come, but when they come, i can respond by turning to God and saying "help me obey you, honor you."
Though you can’t see it, the caress of God is something that is real, something you can experience. Draw near to God by trusting you are entering the throne room. Think about being in the throne room and close to God as a reality that is greater than the material world around you. When you draw near to Him this way He will draw near to you because He is a fountain (Heb. 10:19,22; Ps. 36:7-9). Let Him be God to you; let Him hold you. And, don’t be afraid if you become aware that He is pursuing you. Unlike many people you have known, God is good. Reassure your heart that God is not a predator with secrete intentions to hurt people: "O taste and see that the Lord is good; how blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him!" (Ps. 34:8). Stop fighting and submit to the truth. It is best for you if you trust Him. (http://www.tasteheavennow.net/understanding_yourself/intimacy_with_god.htm)
and the last part of that verse, wait for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ to bring you to eternal life.it's a really good reminder to me that it is only by the grace brought about by Jesus' sacrifice that i can at all enter into heaven.
another verse that stuck out to me was:
22Be merciful to those who doubt; 23snatch others from the fire and save them; to others show mercy, mixed with fear—hating even the clothing stained by corrupted flesh.
i had some trouble understanding what on earth jude was talking about: what does it mean to "show others mercy, mixed with fear", and how is it that i am supposed to love sinners but hate "even the clothing stained by corrupted flesh"? i ended up looking up the passage on matthew henry's commentary (as far as online commentaries go i'm always wary of them because i don't know which one can be trusted, but matthew henry is a very very respected and famous theologian from ages ago (not sure how old, but if you read his stuff you can tell by his style it was a while ago hahahah) and you can easily just google any of his commentaries.), and his commentary gave an explanation that "mercy, mixed with fear" is talking about how with some you would show mercy, others you would try to instill in them a fear of the Lord, and that you are to abhor evil things, and all things that lead to and are associated with sin.
all right, i think this post is now officially long enough, hahah. and i also have to run. i will just conclude by saying that this passage also, to me, seemed to have 2 major themes: contending for the faith, and the characteristics of a "godless man".
ok, will try to blog again later although my schedule today is really tight ><
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Sav on Saturday
I read three great books this week. I'll try to not go on and on and on like I usually do! I make no promises, however. :)
“The Me I Want To Be” by John Ortberg:
Surrender is key to the life in Christ: “I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds” (John 12:24). Likewise, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me” (Matthew 16:24). Ortberg uses the example of the Twelve Steps program for alcoholics to demonstrate surrender. No where in the program does it say, “Now, try really hard not to drink.” Instead, it encourages people to surrender their will: “When I surrender, I don't just let go of my will. I also give up the idea that I am in charge of outcomes.” Surrender is continual. There is never a moment when we have fully surrendered to God once and for all. “Offer your bodies as a living sacrifice.” A living sacrifice does not stay on the altar, it jumps off again and again but willingly returns. Instead of trying harder to obey God, try softer. Let go. Give your will to God and He will give you the will to obey. It's not easy, but is anything worthwhile easy or comfortable?
I have been trying to apply this idea to my own life when it comes to temptation. I can try really hard to not hurt myself or be stressed out, but I will fail every time. When I pray to God to take my will from me and to let this cup pass, but “not my will but yours be done,” something happens. My struggle does not disappear, but I have a new strength to overcome.
Do you ever feel guilty for not praying enough or for not praying for the “right” things? Remember that Scripture says, “God's Spirit is right alongside us helping us along. If we don't know how or what to pray, it doesn't matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves...and keeps us present before God” (Romans 8:26-27).
“The Cost of Discipleship” by Dietrich Bonhoeffer:
“Only those who believe obey” and “Only those who obey believe.” Isn't this another way of saying that faith without works is dead? Good works are a sign, a fruit, of a spirit that has complete faith in God. If one has no fruit, no good works, no obedience to God's words, then what sort of faith is that? Faith alone saves, by God's grace, but dead faith saves no one. If you believe in God and that His word is true, you will obey. If you obey, you truly believe. I used to puzzle over that when I was younger, but it makes sense now to me. Faith alone saves, but when I have true faith, I am ready and willing to take up my cross and follow Jesus. Faith is not cheap, it is costly. It demands everything and yet requires nothing.
Bonhoeffer mentions two sins when it comes to God's law. The first is putting the law in God's place, which is what the Jews did. They made the law their God. The second error is what Christians are in danger of committing: denying the law its divinity and separating it from God. Jesus came to free us from the law, which I talked about before. But freedom from the law means the law is fulfilled, it no longer binds us as our god. God is God and the law is God's inspired way of life for us. Keep both in their place, but know that Jesus gave us a way to fulfill the law perfectly. “There is no fulfillment of the law apart from communion with God, and no communion with God apart from fulfillment of the law.”
Remember to love your enemies, those who harbor enmity towards you. We ourselves were once the enemies of God, and only by God's grace are we called children. Thus we should have grace and mercy towards our enemies, for we understand that none of us deserves any love.
“Why Pro-Life?” by Randy Alcorn:
I confess that I have always been pro-choice. I have quite the feminist streak in me, and I always equated women's rights with reproductive rights. However, my opinions are changing as I read the Bible and read more about this abortion issue. If you are unsure of where you stand or believe it is an individual choice, I encourage you to read this tiny book. Some arguments are flawed, but many make sense and have validity. I'm not going to go into detail about the book's arguments here because I have already gone on long enough, but I just wanted to confess my change of heart!
Here's one argument:
Size: does how big you are determine how human you are?
Level of development: are twenty-year olds more human than ten-year olds since they are smarter and stronger?
Environment: does being inside another's body make you less human?
Degree of dependency: does dependence on another determine who you are?
Update time! I finished my first week of working as a market researcher. It is much, much more stressful than I imagined. I have come to despise quotas. I have come to learn that having compassion on those who figuratively spit on you is hard. I have come to discover that I prefer routine to a fast-paced, ever-changing environment. I had some good days and definitely had some rough days that threw me back in a depressive state. But most importantly, I survived! Am I dreading next week? Yes. Am I learning to depend on God completely because I am weak? Yes. Do I miss my family and friends? Definitely! I hope all ya'll are doing well and enjoying life!
“The Me I Want To Be” by John Ortberg:
Surrender is key to the life in Christ: “I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds” (John 12:24). Likewise, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me” (Matthew 16:24). Ortberg uses the example of the Twelve Steps program for alcoholics to demonstrate surrender. No where in the program does it say, “Now, try really hard not to drink.” Instead, it encourages people to surrender their will: “When I surrender, I don't just let go of my will. I also give up the idea that I am in charge of outcomes.” Surrender is continual. There is never a moment when we have fully surrendered to God once and for all. “Offer your bodies as a living sacrifice.” A living sacrifice does not stay on the altar, it jumps off again and again but willingly returns. Instead of trying harder to obey God, try softer. Let go. Give your will to God and He will give you the will to obey. It's not easy, but is anything worthwhile easy or comfortable?
I have been trying to apply this idea to my own life when it comes to temptation. I can try really hard to not hurt myself or be stressed out, but I will fail every time. When I pray to God to take my will from me and to let this cup pass, but “not my will but yours be done,” something happens. My struggle does not disappear, but I have a new strength to overcome.
Do you ever feel guilty for not praying enough or for not praying for the “right” things? Remember that Scripture says, “God's Spirit is right alongside us helping us along. If we don't know how or what to pray, it doesn't matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves...and keeps us present before God” (Romans 8:26-27).
“The Cost of Discipleship” by Dietrich Bonhoeffer:
“Only those who believe obey” and “Only those who obey believe.” Isn't this another way of saying that faith without works is dead? Good works are a sign, a fruit, of a spirit that has complete faith in God. If one has no fruit, no good works, no obedience to God's words, then what sort of faith is that? Faith alone saves, by God's grace, but dead faith saves no one. If you believe in God and that His word is true, you will obey. If you obey, you truly believe. I used to puzzle over that when I was younger, but it makes sense now to me. Faith alone saves, but when I have true faith, I am ready and willing to take up my cross and follow Jesus. Faith is not cheap, it is costly. It demands everything and yet requires nothing.
Bonhoeffer mentions two sins when it comes to God's law. The first is putting the law in God's place, which is what the Jews did. They made the law their God. The second error is what Christians are in danger of committing: denying the law its divinity and separating it from God. Jesus came to free us from the law, which I talked about before. But freedom from the law means the law is fulfilled, it no longer binds us as our god. God is God and the law is God's inspired way of life for us. Keep both in their place, but know that Jesus gave us a way to fulfill the law perfectly. “There is no fulfillment of the law apart from communion with God, and no communion with God apart from fulfillment of the law.”
Remember to love your enemies, those who harbor enmity towards you. We ourselves were once the enemies of God, and only by God's grace are we called children. Thus we should have grace and mercy towards our enemies, for we understand that none of us deserves any love.
“Why Pro-Life?” by Randy Alcorn:
I confess that I have always been pro-choice. I have quite the feminist streak in me, and I always equated women's rights with reproductive rights. However, my opinions are changing as I read the Bible and read more about this abortion issue. If you are unsure of where you stand or believe it is an individual choice, I encourage you to read this tiny book. Some arguments are flawed, but many make sense and have validity. I'm not going to go into detail about the book's arguments here because I have already gone on long enough, but I just wanted to confess my change of heart!
Here's one argument:
Size: does how big you are determine how human you are?
Level of development: are twenty-year olds more human than ten-year olds since they are smarter and stronger?
Environment: does being inside another's body make you less human?
Degree of dependency: does dependence on another determine who you are?
Update time! I finished my first week of working as a market researcher. It is much, much more stressful than I imagined. I have come to despise quotas. I have come to learn that having compassion on those who figuratively spit on you is hard. I have come to discover that I prefer routine to a fast-paced, ever-changing environment. I had some good days and definitely had some rough days that threw me back in a depressive state. But most importantly, I survived! Am I dreading next week? Yes. Am I learning to depend on God completely because I am weak? Yes. Do I miss my family and friends? Definitely! I hope all ya'll are doing well and enjoying life!
Friday, May 28, 2010
rawr
hola hola
hope u guys are doing well...im currently at home (my real one) because i wanted to go when for a weekend where we didn't have missions on monday (memorial day!) woot woot. i also decided to take up the guitar too becuase i felt like i wanted to learn how to play worship songs and i also had one layign around from 9th grade (i got as a present for christimas, during my michelle branch obsession). so thats been fun...maybe i can perform a concert for u guys when we reunite in the fall lol
anyways, so ive been enjoying book peter and romans in the bible this past week. peter from the BRP which i am behind and romans we are studyign together for CSMP.
i liked these verses a lot from 1 peter:
22Now that you have purified yourselves by obeying the truth so that you have sincere love for your brothers, love one another deeply, from the heart.[b] 23For you have been born again, not of perishable seed, but of imperishable, through the living and enduring word of God. 24For,
"All men are like grass,
and all their glory is like the flowers of the field;
the grass withers and the flowers fall,
25but the word of the Lord stands forever
So... I have been having some trouble with living a pure and holy life recently...it has been a rough week for me esp in the beginning. on sunday i had some scary dreams that caused me to re-hash my past bondages with sin (in regards to attachment). I kind of realized how sinful i am-it seems that i am just weaker in some areas and the above verse were a good reminder for me that I can purify myself through obeying the bible. the concept of being born again is very interestgn as well. I dont think I am conscious enough of my "rebirth". But, like it says, we are reborn as imperishable, people will wither and their glory may last temporarily, but the word of God lasts forever.
It is mentioned that we can enjoy eternity and lives that are pure THROUGH the word of God. THe bible is highly recommended as the way that we can learn Gods truths in order to obey, in order to become pure and imperishable. I think this shows how important daily intake of the word is for all believers to grow and continue to refine our characters to become more like jesus.
This is such an obvious spiritual discipline, yet so many of us struggle with taking the time to read the word daily or even to take it seriously when they are reading it. For example, the past week or two at MP i think i was just skimming Gods word and then napping after (tacky i know).
but this summer i really want to CULTIVATE! PART 1:MEDIDTATE! ( sermon from acccess last friday about how to grow more intimate with God through meditation) I want to dig into the word and try to seriously obey it and see if stuff actually happens. i dont think i've fully committed to this idea before! i wonder what will happen...
PS: link for meditation sermon...highly recommend! :)
http://annarbor.hmcc.net/sermons/?type=Access%20Series
as for how im doing....i guess its been up and down for me. the nightmares were definitely the down, im sure its all spiritual attack, especially doing csmp and all this summer. the plus side is that they helped expose certain heart issues that I still have to experince the gospel in that area of my life, and I am excited to see transformation occur as I try hard to actively seek God the next coming weeks. ill let u guys know if anything cool happens haha
punishment day #1
today's brp reading: 2 John, 3 John (i did two days in a row because i missed a day a while back)
2 John 6 And this is love: that we walk in obedience to his commands. As you have heard from the beginning, his command is that you walk in love.
i think i downplay obedience a lot, and i downplay the implications of sin a lot as well. for instance, i'll tell my lcg, "yeah, this week i didn't really read my Bible or do my quiet time." and then i laugh, and move on with my life with barely more than a moment's feeling of guilt. and i don't do anything to change this. it's as though it's perfectly acceptable that i haven't done my quiet time. this verse really convicted me not to do that.
and walk in love - what does that look like? hahaha, it brings to my mind this image of someone walking down the street, giving food to the homeless, helping people, dispensing love.
the ESV version says : And this is love, that we walk according to his commandments; this is the commandment, just as you have heard from the beginning, so that you should walk in it. (for those of you who don't know, the difference between ESV and NIV is that the ESV is a literal, word-for-word translation for the Bible, and a lot of people like to use it because it gives a very accurate, literal translation. the NIV translation is based on literal word-for-word translation as well as cultural meaning. a rather crude example of this would be, instead of translating "hello", NIV would translate it to "what's up?" or something like that).
and Jesus' command that i think this verse is referring to says: "A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." (john 13:34-35)
i think the ESV version made more sense to me because it says "we walk according to his commandments". to me that is talking more about living according to his commandments - obedience, in short.
i noticed as i was going through 1, 2 and 3 John that John really likes to expound on two topics: love and discernment.
for instance, in the passage i blogged about yesterday, he talked a lot about how when we remain in God, God's love and his Holy Spirit will remain in us (1 John 4:13 - We know that we live in him and he in us, because he has given us of his Spirit.), and how the world, who has not seen God, sees God through the way we love each other, through the way we abide in his love. and in our certainty of his love and the salvation he has given us, we need not fear punishment. he also says "No one who continues to sin has either seen him or known him" and "No one who is born of God will continue to sin, because God's seed remains in him; he cannot go on sinning, because he has been born of God. This is how we know who the children of God are and who the children of the devil are: Anyone who does not do what is right is not a child of God; nor is anyone who does not love his brother" (both are from 1 John 3). i don't know about you, but i definitely am still sinning a sadly regular basis >< hahah. what do you think John means by this?
and he also keeps on talking about the different ways we need to discern whose teaching is from God, and whose is of the world. after flipping through and reading several of the sections, i think John basically says that whoever does not preach Jesus Christ as Lord is therefore not of God, and not someone we should listen to. he says pretty harsh things: "If anyone comes to you and does not bring this teaching, do not take him into your house or welcome him. Anyone who welcomes him shares in his wicked work." (2 John 10-11)
my commitment this summer has been to rip apart God's word :) i think i usually tiptoe through my Bible reading; i'm too scared to dig deep and to ask hard questions because i personally often don't know the answer, and also because i think deep down i just don' really believe that God's word wouldn't shatter the moment i look more closely at it. but hey, if it's really the word of God, if i'm really going to bank my entire life on it, it'd better be able to hold up against scrutiny! so that's what i'm trying to do this summer, hahah :D
ok, until tomorrow!
love, erica
2 John 6 And this is love: that we walk in obedience to his commands. As you have heard from the beginning, his command is that you walk in love.
i think i downplay obedience a lot, and i downplay the implications of sin a lot as well. for instance, i'll tell my lcg, "yeah, this week i didn't really read my Bible or do my quiet time." and then i laugh, and move on with my life with barely more than a moment's feeling of guilt. and i don't do anything to change this. it's as though it's perfectly acceptable that i haven't done my quiet time. this verse really convicted me not to do that.
and walk in love - what does that look like? hahaha, it brings to my mind this image of someone walking down the street, giving food to the homeless, helping people, dispensing love.
the ESV version says : And this is love, that we walk according to his commandments; this is the commandment, just as you have heard from the beginning, so that you should walk in it. (for those of you who don't know, the difference between ESV and NIV is that the ESV is a literal, word-for-word translation for the Bible, and a lot of people like to use it because it gives a very accurate, literal translation. the NIV translation is based on literal word-for-word translation as well as cultural meaning. a rather crude example of this would be, instead of translating "hello", NIV would translate it to "what's up?" or something like that).
and Jesus' command that i think this verse is referring to says: "A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." (john 13:34-35)
i think the ESV version made more sense to me because it says "we walk according to his commandments". to me that is talking more about living according to his commandments - obedience, in short.
i noticed as i was going through 1, 2 and 3 John that John really likes to expound on two topics: love and discernment.
for instance, in the passage i blogged about yesterday, he talked a lot about how when we remain in God, God's love and his Holy Spirit will remain in us (1 John 4:13 - We know that we live in him and he in us, because he has given us of his Spirit.), and how the world, who has not seen God, sees God through the way we love each other, through the way we abide in his love. and in our certainty of his love and the salvation he has given us, we need not fear punishment. he also says "No one who continues to sin has either seen him or known him" and "No one who is born of God will continue to sin, because God's seed remains in him; he cannot go on sinning, because he has been born of God. This is how we know who the children of God are and who the children of the devil are: Anyone who does not do what is right is not a child of God; nor is anyone who does not love his brother" (both are from 1 John 3). i don't know about you, but i definitely am still sinning a sadly regular basis >< hahah. what do you think John means by this?
and he also keeps on talking about the different ways we need to discern whose teaching is from God, and whose is of the world. after flipping through and reading several of the sections, i think John basically says that whoever does not preach Jesus Christ as Lord is therefore not of God, and not someone we should listen to. he says pretty harsh things: "If anyone comes to you and does not bring this teaching, do not take him into your house or welcome him. Anyone who welcomes him shares in his wicked work." (2 John 10-11)
my commitment this summer has been to rip apart God's word :) i think i usually tiptoe through my Bible reading; i'm too scared to dig deep and to ask hard questions because i personally often don't know the answer, and also because i think deep down i just don' really believe that God's word wouldn't shatter the moment i look more closely at it. but hey, if it's really the word of God, if i'm really going to bank my entire life on it, it'd better be able to hold up against scrutiny! so that's what i'm trying to do this summer, hahah :D
ok, until tomorrow!
love, erica
Thursday, May 27, 2010
fail on erica's part
she was given a day of grace and apparently that still wasn't enough to motivate her to post. :( sorry guys, i have no excuse. and yes. i will be doing the punishment, it'll be good for me to be forced to do quiet time every day hahah.
the passage i want to share from is 1 John 4 - i know it was from a couple days ago (for those of us who are following the brp), but it really spoke to me when i was reading it and so i thought i would share it here. some verses that really stuck out to me:
11Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. 12No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.
God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. 17In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like him. 18There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
the entire passage really spoke to me, and i feel these two verses basically summarize what i got out of it. when we truly believe in Jesus, God, who is love, will come live in us. thus we will have "perfect love": through the Holy Spirit we can stand firm in our knowledge that God loves us so much, and therefore we do not need to be afraid of judgment day (which is what i took "fear" and "punishment" to mean in v. 18. i don't know if i'm right or not though hahah). through having this perfect love within us, we can now love each other, and this is the way she show the world who God is.
i've been really convicted to love people genuinely, to abide in God, to actively fight to say "yes Lord, i believe that you love me, and that i can trust you completely." (incidentally, carol sent me this website that so far has been pretty awesome, and i really like what the author had to say about intimacy with God: http://www.tasteheavennow.net/understanding_yourself/intimacy_with_god.htm.
as to how i've been, i just finished my stats 350 exam today! i finished early, so hopefully that is a good sign hahaha. God has really been speaking to me through his word, and challenging me to not be afraid to dig deeper, because God's word better be able to intense scrutiny.
ok, that's all for now! i'll see you tomorrow while i do my post hahah. :)
the passage i want to share from is 1 John 4 - i know it was from a couple days ago (for those of us who are following the brp), but it really spoke to me when i was reading it and so i thought i would share it here. some verses that really stuck out to me:
11Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. 12No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.
God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. 17In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like him. 18There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
the entire passage really spoke to me, and i feel these two verses basically summarize what i got out of it. when we truly believe in Jesus, God, who is love, will come live in us. thus we will have "perfect love": through the Holy Spirit we can stand firm in our knowledge that God loves us so much, and therefore we do not need to be afraid of judgment day (which is what i took "fear" and "punishment" to mean in v. 18. i don't know if i'm right or not though hahah). through having this perfect love within us, we can now love each other, and this is the way she show the world who God is.
i've been really convicted to love people genuinely, to abide in God, to actively fight to say "yes Lord, i believe that you love me, and that i can trust you completely." (incidentally, carol sent me this website that so far has been pretty awesome, and i really like what the author had to say about intimacy with God: http://www.tasteheavennow.net/understanding_yourself/intimacy_with_god.htm.
as to how i've been, i just finished my stats 350 exam today! i finished early, so hopefully that is a good sign hahaha. God has really been speaking to me through his word, and challenging me to not be afraid to dig deeper, because God's word better be able to intense scrutiny.
ok, that's all for now! i'll see you tomorrow while i do my post hahah. :)
HI thur (sday)
Ok so im just continuing with Romans 11 and i came upon this metaphor i guess you could call it and it goes a little something like this...HIT IT! 16: If the part of the dough offered as firstfruits is holy, then the whole batch is holy, then the whole batch is holy; if the root is holy, so are the branches. 17 : If some of the branches have been broken off and you, though a wild olive shoot, have been grafted in among the others and now share in the nourishing sap from the olive root, 18 do not boast over those branches. If you do, consider this: You do not support the root, but the root supports you. 19: You will say then, "Branches, were broken off so that I could be grafted in." 20: Granted. But they were broken off because of unbelief, and you stand by faith. Do not be arrogant, but be afraid. 21: For if God did not spare the natural branches, he will not spare you either.
Ok, so normally, when i read things like this i just get frustrated and bored, skim, and forget it. So i really tried on this one guys :)
This passage really reminds me of a similar thought process that I typically take, I always think to myself that I am the one who makes, initiates, maintains i guess my relationship with God. But when i think about it further, I realize that if God were a person we would never hang out, probs only talk on fb once in a while, but I would say we were friends just because we all know he's a pretty cool dude.
When I think about it more, I guess I get more of a big picture type thing, yes it is him who retains it due to his grace. Like, ok, he still blesses me, gets me through things, and all this other stuff while i continue to ignore him. So really just like the metaphor states, it is him who supports the relationship and im stupid the think otherwise. He chose me specifically and let's get real i can EASILY be replaced. There are 6 billion others out there, plus he just make more if he wants.
Ok so speedway is getting better. I trained someone today. DONT QUESTION MY AUTHORITY. bahahah. anyway, well i went to the beach , i LOVE lake michigan :D but now im lobster legs. ummmm me and my friends started doing this thing where we cook foods from a different country every week and yesterday we did france. we had strawberry soup, and this salad with lava chocolate cake. NOM NOM. so yeah nothing new i've just been eating and working. bye lovers
Ok, so normally, when i read things like this i just get frustrated and bored, skim, and forget it. So i really tried on this one guys :)
This passage really reminds me of a similar thought process that I typically take, I always think to myself that I am the one who makes, initiates, maintains i guess my relationship with God. But when i think about it further, I realize that if God were a person we would never hang out, probs only talk on fb once in a while, but I would say we were friends just because we all know he's a pretty cool dude.
When I think about it more, I guess I get more of a big picture type thing, yes it is him who retains it due to his grace. Like, ok, he still blesses me, gets me through things, and all this other stuff while i continue to ignore him. So really just like the metaphor states, it is him who supports the relationship and im stupid the think otherwise. He chose me specifically and let's get real i can EASILY be replaced. There are 6 billion others out there, plus he just make more if he wants.
Ok so speedway is getting better. I trained someone today. DONT QUESTION MY AUTHORITY. bahahah. anyway, well i went to the beach , i LOVE lake michigan :D but now im lobster legs. ummmm me and my friends started doing this thing where we cook foods from a different country every week and yesterday we did france. we had strawberry soup, and this salad with lava chocolate cake. NOM NOM. so yeah nothing new i've just been eating and working. bye lovers
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Gee Willikers, It's Walloping Wednesday...
yeah...it's been a long day. lol
So, in my Intro to Islam class, we just started getting into studying their belief system more and looking into their holy texts. The reading for tomorrow is from the Hadith, which I guess is sort of similar to Proverbs in the Bible? Of course, The Qur'an is the primary holy book of Islam and the literal Word of Allah, but the Hadith is a collection of sayings and stories from/about the Prophet or early Muslim leaders that is also widely recited and used in sermons, law, etc.
Anyway, there were two hadith in particular that really spoke to me and one also kind of relates to what I wanted to share anyway.
None of you [truly] believes until he wishes for his brother what he wishes for himself.
So, in my Intro to Islam class, we just started getting into studying their belief system more and looking into their holy texts. The reading for tomorrow is from the Hadith, which I guess is sort of similar to Proverbs in the Bible? Of course, The Qur'an is the primary holy book of Islam and the literal Word of Allah, but the Hadith is a collection of sayings and stories from/about the Prophet or early Muslim leaders that is also widely recited and used in sermons, law, etc.
Anyway, there were two hadith in particular that really spoke to me and one also kind of relates to what I wanted to share anyway.
None of you [truly] believes until he wishes for his brother what he wishes for himself.
Everyone starts his day and is a vendor of his soul, either freeing it or bringing about its ruin.
The second one especially made me think further into the verse from Ecclesiastes I was going to post about today: "In the morning sow your seed, and at evening do not let your hands be idle; for you do not know which will prosper, this or that, or whether both alike will be good."
-Ecclesiastes 11:6
Initially, I was reflecting on how we don't know which things we do will be fruitful and which won't but what God asks is that we are faithful in everything in don't cease in doing his work regardless of the fruit/prosperity we see. I know personally I take so many detours or just meander in my doubt of whether God will work and sometimes I have to confess that I outright disobey because I don't see fruit in what I'm doing and lose focus. Ultimately, I guess even though my head knows it, my heart's not fully convinced that God is always working and may use the things I do in awesome ways if 1. I'm faithful; 2. I pay attention to what God is doing around me!
The second hadith above made me reflect on this more because it brought to light that we're not just following God aimlessly day-to-day waiting for him to reveal to us the grand plan. Every day we are vendors of our soul and we can either free it--give our everything to God and let him guide us--or bring about it's ruin through our carelessness.
In that vein, I know I am extremely careless and rarely a good steward of what God's given me. But I hope that I really can use the extra time this summer to be more intentional in how I use my time especially to work through some hard truths with God and to invest in people around me. Way easier said than done but hold me accountable please!! :)
There's not too much to update on here. I went home this last weekend and it was a really awesome chance to catch up with family. I mostly just ate and talked non-stop with some nice sleep tucked in there! Saturday I spent most of the afternoon at my cousin's house jumping on the trampoline with my little cousins and then eating dinner with my cousin and her husband, my mom and the kids. It's such a treat to go home and to be enveloped in the community there. In some ways I regret not being home, though I enjoy Ann Arbor and know God will use (and is using?) me here too.
Also, quick prayer request: If he follows through, my Dad is coming to visit me in Ann Arbor in about a week. For those of you who don't know, we have a really distant relationship and really have only recently started talking more. This is going to be the first time seeing him in about 10 years...and possibly meeting my youngest half-sister too. To say the least, I'm really nervous and in general not even sure how I feel about it since I think I've really conditioned myself to not having a father figure and it's difficult for me to see he would actually fit into my life...so, if you could just pray for strength and wisdom for this that would be really good. And pray too that I will be able to turn to God more because mostly I just sort of freak out independently about it and forget to really turn it over in prayer.
Love you guys and hope you're all doing well!! <3
Lizz
Monday, May 24, 2010
Marvelous Monday
Hey guys,
Okay, so I'm switching things up a bit this week. To be perfectly honest, I'm even more behind on the BRP. :( I hope to catch up soon. On a more positive note, I was cleaning out my closet this weekend (still! ahh!), and I came across this packet I received when I graduated high school from the Baccalaureate ceremony. Basically, it's this devotional-esque type thing for going to college. I pretty much just ignored it when it was given to me, but I did keep it, and as I was looking at it, I thought I'd go through it. So basically, there's a CD and then a bible passage that you're supposed to read along with listening to a specific song. So here goes:
Today's subject was intimacy, about how we might be "connected" to many people through cell phones, internet, etc., but that we need to have close personal relationships too, especially with God. The song I listened to is "I'm for you" by TobyMac, and I read 1 Corinthians 13. I know this passage fairly well, but it's always good to have a reminder and think about things in new ways. The part of this passage I always paid the most attention to was the most "famous" part, v. 4-7: Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
What really struck me today, though were verses 8-10: Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears.
This passage really spoke to me because no matter what gifts we have, or what good works we perform, there is no way they can be complete or perfect without love. Without love, those gifts and works really mean nothing. We would be nothing without God's love, and we should show that kind of love to others. This kind of reminds me of what you were saying in your post yesterday, Mar - sometimes it seems so difficult to love other people like this, and the more we rationalize our way out of it, the easier it becomes to ignore the situation and distance ourselves from those in need.
Also, the song I mentioned earlier is really good. I would suggest everyone check it out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Iu6PQMOIzU :) The lyrics are really thought-provoking, especially:
I hope you guys are doing well. I miss you all like crazy!!!!
<3 <3 <3,
Shelby
Okay, so I'm switching things up a bit this week. To be perfectly honest, I'm even more behind on the BRP. :( I hope to catch up soon. On a more positive note, I was cleaning out my closet this weekend (still! ahh!), and I came across this packet I received when I graduated high school from the Baccalaureate ceremony. Basically, it's this devotional-esque type thing for going to college. I pretty much just ignored it when it was given to me, but I did keep it, and as I was looking at it, I thought I'd go through it. So basically, there's a CD and then a bible passage that you're supposed to read along with listening to a specific song. So here goes:
Today's subject was intimacy, about how we might be "connected" to many people through cell phones, internet, etc., but that we need to have close personal relationships too, especially with God. The song I listened to is "I'm for you" by TobyMac, and I read 1 Corinthians 13. I know this passage fairly well, but it's always good to have a reminder and think about things in new ways. The part of this passage I always paid the most attention to was the most "famous" part, v. 4-7: Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
What really struck me today, though were verses 8-10: Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears.
This passage really spoke to me because no matter what gifts we have, or what good works we perform, there is no way they can be complete or perfect without love. Without love, those gifts and works really mean nothing. We would be nothing without God's love, and we should show that kind of love to others. This kind of reminds me of what you were saying in your post yesterday, Mar - sometimes it seems so difficult to love other people like this, and the more we rationalize our way out of it, the easier it becomes to ignore the situation and distance ourselves from those in need.
Also, the song I mentioned earlier is really good. I would suggest everyone check it out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Iu6PQMOIzU :) The lyrics are really thought-provoking, especially:
Everyone of us has stumbledSo, I hope you guys enjoy that. As for an update, things are actually pretty boring around here. I've basically just been sleeping, reading, watching movies, hanging out with my friends, and enjoying the fantastic weather we've been having lately. I'm really trying to enjoy every day that I have up here before I start classes in June because it's a really rare opportunity for me to have an extended amount of time at home without working. I was really bored and kind of unhappy at first, but now I'm thinking this is kind of fantastic. haha. Anyway, that's all I've really been up to.
Everybody's humbled
We hit the ground and our lives crumble
Whatever I gotta be
I'll be for you
...
You've always been for me
So I will be for you
That's just what it means to love
I hope you guys are doing well. I miss you all like crazy!!!!
<3 <3 <3,
Shelby
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Still Sunday!
This post is sort of going to be all over the place I think. I'm sorry haha. Okay, I'm just gonna do it chronologically, so Proverbs will actually come last.
I have been reading this book called "Mountains Beyond Mountains" by Tracy Kidder. It's about this doctor, Paul Farmer, who is the kind of guy who thinks about what he should do and then bam, he just does it. A lot of self control (of which I am lacking)! His life's constant mission is to help out the people who are in most desperate need of his help, so he picked Haiti as the most destitute country in the western hemisphere, picked the region with the most destitute Haitians, and set up a clinic there to provide them with medical services for free.
Well I was reading today, and there was a point at which Dr. Farmer went to visit a prison in Russia where prisoners were dying of tuberculosis and the author of this book, Tracy Kidder, went with him. To be witty, Kidder attempted to quote from the bible Jesus' teaching - that one like "whatever you did unto the least of them, you did unto me". And Dr. Farmer isn't even really religious but he quoted it exactly back to him, like "Oh yeah, Matthew 25 - yada yada".
And so then I realized that this guy who isn't even religious has mustered the strength and will to live out exactly according to Jesus' teaching - loving his neighbor, doing everything within his power to feed the hungry, clothe the naked, tend to the ill, visit those in prison. WOW. It just made me realize the tangible things that we can do with our lives to serve God through serving others.
OK, so then compare that other ways of using your life. Dr. Farmer specifically says that he is just fine with people living out their middle class, or upper class lives, purchasing "luxuries" for themselves, just as long as they do not try to ignore the massive amount of human suffering happening elsewhere, just as long as they do something to try to help. Not everyone should or could play the same part as him.
But then I think about Matthew 25 and think back to the other day, when I walked out of the GR main library and refused to help out or talk to a homeless man. In that specific instance, am I really serving God more to smile and walk away? Where is the line here, because the more frequently I justify NOT serving my neighbor, the farther away I get from doing it, right?
That reminds me of reading my virtue book, and the chapter on prudence. The author suggested that although the Pope during the Holocaust has been harshly criticized for his perceived lack of action, he was really just exercising the virtue of prudence. If he tried to take more risky, dramatic action, it would have paralyzed the ability of the Catholic church to do many other different good works. Hmm.
So now to the Bible. One passage from Proverbs 3 sort of directly relates to how literally we should follow Matthew 25:
28 Say not to your neighbor, 'Go, and come again, tomorrow I will give,' when you can give at once.
So I take that to mean, whenever an opportunity to serve comes up in the moment, just go ahead and do it, don't say to yourself that you will make it up by doing something different later.
Another passage that I like and that relates to Sav's whole thing about seeking wisdom even knowing that you can never completely understand life, is this from chapter 4:
5 Get wisdom, get understanding! ... 7 The beginning of wisdom is: get wisdom; at the cost of all you have, get understanding.
That's pretty extreme, isn't it "at the cost of all you have". Sometimes it seems like the authors of the Bible tell us to do so many different extremes that they don't even really expect us to do. So it's like, should I feel terrible about myself for being unable to follow these "commandments" or should I feel peaceful knowing that I am just a human and could never really do it? Probably somewhere in between, as usual. haha
Oh yeah, the other thing I wanted to mention was that I randomly came upon a copy of the Jefferson Bible on one of Bethany's (the girl I live with) end tables today. Thomas Jefferson made his own version of the Gospels, cutting and pasting what he "liked" from the different gospels/ translations. He basically took out all the miracles and called it "the life and teachings of Jesus". In the introduction, it says that Jefferson, along with a bunch of other Unitarian Universalists at the time, disbelieved several parts of the Gospels, such as Jesus' virgin birth. And they viewed the apostle Paul as the guy who screwed up Christianity and made it into a doctrinal, exclusive religion by making it a religion centered on Jesus' resurrection instead of a religion made up of Jesus' moral teachings. Obviously, Paul was an amazing dude who dedicated his life, just like Dr. Farmer, to doing exactly what he felt was the right thing. But I really like reading about such different perspectives.
Today, Bethany and her friend Michelle and I went to Lake Michigan! It was wonderful and like 80 degrees, but my back is totally sun burnt. I'm feelin the pain right now. Also, tonight was the LOST finale! I watched the two hour pre-program special with Bethany and our two neighbors, but left as the actual finale was starting because I have to watch it with (stupid) Miriam this weekend. Also, we ate deliciously gigantic calzones for dinner.
I have been reading this book called "Mountains Beyond Mountains" by Tracy Kidder. It's about this doctor, Paul Farmer, who is the kind of guy who thinks about what he should do and then bam, he just does it. A lot of self control (of which I am lacking)! His life's constant mission is to help out the people who are in most desperate need of his help, so he picked Haiti as the most destitute country in the western hemisphere, picked the region with the most destitute Haitians, and set up a clinic there to provide them with medical services for free.Well I was reading today, and there was a point at which Dr. Farmer went to visit a prison in Russia where prisoners were dying of tuberculosis and the author of this book, Tracy Kidder, went with him. To be witty, Kidder attempted to quote from the bible Jesus' teaching - that one like "whatever you did unto the least of them, you did unto me". And Dr. Farmer isn't even really religious but he quoted it exactly back to him, like "Oh yeah, Matthew 25 - yada yada".
And so then I realized that this guy who isn't even religious has mustered the strength and will to live out exactly according to Jesus' teaching - loving his neighbor, doing everything within his power to feed the hungry, clothe the naked, tend to the ill, visit those in prison. WOW. It just made me realize the tangible things that we can do with our lives to serve God through serving others.
OK, so then compare that other ways of using your life. Dr. Farmer specifically says that he is just fine with people living out their middle class, or upper class lives, purchasing "luxuries" for themselves, just as long as they do not try to ignore the massive amount of human suffering happening elsewhere, just as long as they do something to try to help. Not everyone should or could play the same part as him.
But then I think about Matthew 25 and think back to the other day, when I walked out of the GR main library and refused to help out or talk to a homeless man. In that specific instance, am I really serving God more to smile and walk away? Where is the line here, because the more frequently I justify NOT serving my neighbor, the farther away I get from doing it, right?
That reminds me of reading my virtue book, and the chapter on prudence. The author suggested that although the Pope during the Holocaust has been harshly criticized for his perceived lack of action, he was really just exercising the virtue of prudence. If he tried to take more risky, dramatic action, it would have paralyzed the ability of the Catholic church to do many other different good works. Hmm.
So now to the Bible. One passage from Proverbs 3 sort of directly relates to how literally we should follow Matthew 25:
28 Say not to your neighbor, 'Go, and come again, tomorrow I will give,' when you can give at once.
So I take that to mean, whenever an opportunity to serve comes up in the moment, just go ahead and do it, don't say to yourself that you will make it up by doing something different later.
Another passage that I like and that relates to Sav's whole thing about seeking wisdom even knowing that you can never completely understand life, is this from chapter 4:
5 Get wisdom, get understanding! ... 7 The beginning of wisdom is: get wisdom; at the cost of all you have, get understanding.
That's pretty extreme, isn't it "at the cost of all you have". Sometimes it seems like the authors of the Bible tell us to do so many different extremes that they don't even really expect us to do. So it's like, should I feel terrible about myself for being unable to follow these "commandments" or should I feel peaceful knowing that I am just a human and could never really do it? Probably somewhere in between, as usual. haha
Oh yeah, the other thing I wanted to mention was that I randomly came upon a copy of the Jefferson Bible on one of Bethany's (the girl I live with) end tables today. Thomas Jefferson made his own version of the Gospels, cutting and pasting what he "liked" from the different gospels/ translations. He basically took out all the miracles and called it "the life and teachings of Jesus". In the introduction, it says that Jefferson, along with a bunch of other Unitarian Universalists at the time, disbelieved several parts of the Gospels, such as Jesus' virgin birth. And they viewed the apostle Paul as the guy who screwed up Christianity and made it into a doctrinal, exclusive religion by making it a religion centered on Jesus' resurrection instead of a religion made up of Jesus' moral teachings. Obviously, Paul was an amazing dude who dedicated his life, just like Dr. Farmer, to doing exactly what he felt was the right thing. But I really like reading about such different perspectives.Today, Bethany and her friend Michelle and I went to Lake Michigan! It was wonderful and like 80 degrees, but my back is totally sun burnt. I'm feelin the pain right now. Also, tonight was the LOST finale! I watched the two hour pre-program special with Bethany and our two neighbors, but left as the actual finale was starting because I have to watch it with (stupid) Miriam this weekend. Also, we ate deliciously gigantic calzones for dinner.
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Sav on Saturday
I just finished reading through Ecclesiastes with the help of a little book called "Against the Grain" by Ray Waddle. It's a heavy book of the Bible, perfect for slow afternoons when life seems so short but also eternal. Philosophical but meant for all people. It must be chewed in small pieces and dissected slowly. There are so many gems in this short book, but so many more questions! It's one of those books I'll never quite finish with more answers than wonderings.
Here are a few of the verses that I chewed a little more thoughtfully than others:
"So I hated life, because what is done under the sun was grievous to me; for all is vanity and a chasing after wind" (2:17).
What a confession to find in the Bible! We often do not see such honesty; we often do not even seek after such honesty. Many of us live in a bubble of optimism. Here is one man, however, daring enough to say exactly how he feels. I can relate to the author so much. How often I used to find myself in a pit of despair, hating life and thinking all of it was pointless and meaningless! However, as Waddle points out, there's an upside. In the midst of his pain and depression, the author still lived. He wrote a book. He is not a pessimistic woe-sayer, he is a man in awe of God who questions life and yet finds meaning.
"There is nothing better for mortals than to eat and drink, and find enjoyment in their toil. This also, i saw, is from the hand of God" (2:24).
Is this the voice of a defeatist, declaring that we might as well eat, drink, and be merry since life is pointless? I don't think so. I think he is giving us an order: to seize life and enjoy it since we were put here to fear God and obey His commands. It is almost a duty to be happy. In other chapters, the author reminds us to not forget death and to face mourning, but once we realize the gravity of life's shortness, we should want to live to the fullest and be grateful to God for what we have. Waddle put it this way: "Our limited mental, emotional, and physical equipment is the gear God gave us for God's own reasons. It's not designed to know the mind of God, but to observe the world, learn from experience, live wisely, and praise its Creator."
"In the day of prosperity be joyful, and in the day of adversity consider; God has made the one as well as the other, so that mortals may not find out anything that will come after them" (7:14).
When life goes well, we praise God. But when life becomes painful and traumatic, we feel this need to come up with answers. The devil is testing us, God is punishing us, we haven't been faithful enough, other people are sinning and we are victims, God is dead, etc. But, as Waddle says, if God has made the day of prosperity and the day of adversity, everything is tossed on its head. We don't have the last word on how God works or why God works, God does. Our minds cannot fathom God and His reasons, but we can thoughtfully remember that God is over all the world. I like this. I really like answers, but I like it even more when people confess that we cannot know the answers. It comforts me more than spiritual hogwash. God is in control; I am not.
"When I applied my mind to know wisdom, and to see the business that is done on earth, how one's eyes see sleep neither day nor night, then I saw all the work of God, that no one can find out what is happening under the sun. However much they may toil in seeking, they will not find it out; even though those who are wise claim to know, they cannot find it out" (8:16-17).
Oh, how I sometimes wish this verse was not true! As I said before, I love knowing things. I love when everything makes sense, and I can see cause and effect and reason. What a neat and orderly universe mine would be! But what a lack of power it would have. What a lack of mystery. God's work is hidden from us but not absent. We can "toil in seeking" all we want, but we will never find all the answers. This is not the church giving boggus advice about "just having faith," it is God saying, "My ways are higher than your ways, my thoughts than your thoughts." Yet this Ecclesiastes author never says not to seek after the work of God. Perhaps half of the sacred romance is seeking after God and then finding that He is enough for all our questions.
"Of making many books there is no end, and much study is a weariness of the flesh" (12:12)
Again, the author is not saying one should not do these things, but he is warning about the end result. In other places, he says that the culmination of wisdom leads to sorrow. The more we follow after God and learn how to live a righteous life, the more sadness we have at the world's faults and cracks. That doesn't mean we shouldn't have wisdom, but the life of the righteous is not always as easy as we would like it to be. I can really relate to the last part of this verse: "much study is a weariness of the flesh." How tired I already a of school! Of searching for knowledge and trying to learn. The more I know, the less I know. What "weariness"! It never ends. In the end though, we are to fear God and keep His commandments. Through Jesus, God is faithful to renew us when we do His work.
As for my own life, I'm starting work next week at Quick Test, a market research company. I will interview people three days a week and then work as night supervisor for two days a week. I'm excited but really nervous.
The last few days have been really rough for me. I've been haunted a lot by the past - my mistakes, the pain I have caused others, etc. It has been extremely challenging to get through certain thoughts and desires without acting upon them. It's only by the grace of God that I haven't done anything I regret. I wish God would free me from these trials, but I've been encouraged by this verse: "So be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you have to endure many trials for a little while. These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold—though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world." Thank you so much for your prayers and know that God is hearing.
Also, I'm really struggling with despairing at the idea of going back to school in September. It fills me with dread and fear whenever I think about it. Please pray for me to give these fears to God. Anyways, hope you all are doing well! I miss everyone!
Here are a few of the verses that I chewed a little more thoughtfully than others:
"So I hated life, because what is done under the sun was grievous to me; for all is vanity and a chasing after wind" (2:17).
What a confession to find in the Bible! We often do not see such honesty; we often do not even seek after such honesty. Many of us live in a bubble of optimism. Here is one man, however, daring enough to say exactly how he feels. I can relate to the author so much. How often I used to find myself in a pit of despair, hating life and thinking all of it was pointless and meaningless! However, as Waddle points out, there's an upside. In the midst of his pain and depression, the author still lived. He wrote a book. He is not a pessimistic woe-sayer, he is a man in awe of God who questions life and yet finds meaning.
"There is nothing better for mortals than to eat and drink, and find enjoyment in their toil. This also, i saw, is from the hand of God" (2:24).
Is this the voice of a defeatist, declaring that we might as well eat, drink, and be merry since life is pointless? I don't think so. I think he is giving us an order: to seize life and enjoy it since we were put here to fear God and obey His commands. It is almost a duty to be happy. In other chapters, the author reminds us to not forget death and to face mourning, but once we realize the gravity of life's shortness, we should want to live to the fullest and be grateful to God for what we have. Waddle put it this way: "Our limited mental, emotional, and physical equipment is the gear God gave us for God's own reasons. It's not designed to know the mind of God, but to observe the world, learn from experience, live wisely, and praise its Creator."
"In the day of prosperity be joyful, and in the day of adversity consider; God has made the one as well as the other, so that mortals may not find out anything that will come after them" (7:14).
When life goes well, we praise God. But when life becomes painful and traumatic, we feel this need to come up with answers. The devil is testing us, God is punishing us, we haven't been faithful enough, other people are sinning and we are victims, God is dead, etc. But, as Waddle says, if God has made the day of prosperity and the day of adversity, everything is tossed on its head. We don't have the last word on how God works or why God works, God does. Our minds cannot fathom God and His reasons, but we can thoughtfully remember that God is over all the world. I like this. I really like answers, but I like it even more when people confess that we cannot know the answers. It comforts me more than spiritual hogwash. God is in control; I am not.
"When I applied my mind to know wisdom, and to see the business that is done on earth, how one's eyes see sleep neither day nor night, then I saw all the work of God, that no one can find out what is happening under the sun. However much they may toil in seeking, they will not find it out; even though those who are wise claim to know, they cannot find it out" (8:16-17).
Oh, how I sometimes wish this verse was not true! As I said before, I love knowing things. I love when everything makes sense, and I can see cause and effect and reason. What a neat and orderly universe mine would be! But what a lack of power it would have. What a lack of mystery. God's work is hidden from us but not absent. We can "toil in seeking" all we want, but we will never find all the answers. This is not the church giving boggus advice about "just having faith," it is God saying, "My ways are higher than your ways, my thoughts than your thoughts." Yet this Ecclesiastes author never says not to seek after the work of God. Perhaps half of the sacred romance is seeking after God and then finding that He is enough for all our questions.
"Of making many books there is no end, and much study is a weariness of the flesh" (12:12)
Again, the author is not saying one should not do these things, but he is warning about the end result. In other places, he says that the culmination of wisdom leads to sorrow. The more we follow after God and learn how to live a righteous life, the more sadness we have at the world's faults and cracks. That doesn't mean we shouldn't have wisdom, but the life of the righteous is not always as easy as we would like it to be. I can really relate to the last part of this verse: "much study is a weariness of the flesh." How tired I already a of school! Of searching for knowledge and trying to learn. The more I know, the less I know. What "weariness"! It never ends. In the end though, we are to fear God and keep His commandments. Through Jesus, God is faithful to renew us when we do His work.
As for my own life, I'm starting work next week at Quick Test, a market research company. I will interview people three days a week and then work as night supervisor for two days a week. I'm excited but really nervous.
The last few days have been really rough for me. I've been haunted a lot by the past - my mistakes, the pain I have caused others, etc. It has been extremely challenging to get through certain thoughts and desires without acting upon them. It's only by the grace of God that I haven't done anything I regret. I wish God would free me from these trials, but I've been encouraged by this verse: "So be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you have to endure many trials for a little while. These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold—though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world." Thank you so much for your prayers and know that God is hearing.
Also, I'm really struggling with despairing at the idea of going back to school in September. It fills me with dread and fear whenever I think about it. Please pray for me to give these fears to God. Anyways, hope you all are doing well! I miss everyone!
Friday, May 21, 2010
heaven!
Okay in my defense, I did not actually forget about posting yesterday...but when i got home and was ready to, my internet wasn't working! I tried for a while but then gave up and went to bed......so heres what I was going to share from yesterday:
I realized that in my spirituality, that I do not think about heaven enough. The majority of my christian walk has been about how I can depend on God during my struggles on earth, and experiencing the joy that comes from living for Him on earth. if I had a better understanding of both heaven and hell, I think I would be able to understand God even more. So, I was pretty enlightened when I came upon this passage:
, "Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. 4He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away."
5He who was seated on the throne said, "I am making everything new!" Then he said, "Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true."
6He said to me: "It is done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. To him who is thirsty I will give to drink without cost from the spring of the water of life. 7He who overcomes will inherit all this, and I will be his God and he will be my son.
Its really nice to imagine going to a place where there won't be crying or pain or anything bad....I guess this won't happen until we arrive in Heaven. Dreaming about heaven can help understanding that the trials and circumstances of earth are only so temporary compared to a life in eternity! :)
-----
I have been doing okay this week. Honestly speaking, it has been a struggle balancing everything and giving 100% to missions, working, people and serving the church. I feel really tired a lot of the time. I think these struggles are what will help me to build perserverence and the 6 am wake up call every day will help me build discipline...all areas I could be growing in. I was getting worried that I haven't been taking enough advantage of my times at morning prayer, so I am hoping that next week can be a week of change for me....please keep me in your prayers! i need them. lol
I realized that in my spirituality, that I do not think about heaven enough. The majority of my christian walk has been about how I can depend on God during my struggles on earth, and experiencing the joy that comes from living for Him on earth. if I had a better understanding of both heaven and hell, I think I would be able to understand God even more. So, I was pretty enlightened when I came upon this passage:
, "Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. 4He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away."
5He who was seated on the throne said, "I am making everything new!" Then he said, "Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true."
6He said to me: "It is done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. To him who is thirsty I will give to drink without cost from the spring of the water of life. 7He who overcomes will inherit all this, and I will be his God and he will be my son.
Its really nice to imagine going to a place where there won't be crying or pain or anything bad....I guess this won't happen until we arrive in Heaven. Dreaming about heaven can help understanding that the trials and circumstances of earth are only so temporary compared to a life in eternity! :)
-----
I have been doing okay this week. Honestly speaking, it has been a struggle balancing everything and giving 100% to missions, working, people and serving the church. I feel really tired a lot of the time. I think these struggles are what will help me to build perserverence and the 6 am wake up call every day will help me build discipline...all areas I could be growing in. I was getting worried that I haven't been taking enough advantage of my times at morning prayer, so I am hoping that next week can be a week of change for me....please keep me in your prayers! i need them. lol
Thursday, May 20, 2010
THURSDAY :D
Ok so im really sorry i forgot last week, i didn't remember it was thursday until friday night bahaha oh summer. but anyway the past week or so has been kind of rough, i sort of really hate speedway. we are really understaffed and everybody acts like speedway is more than just a gas station. WHICH IT ISNT HELLO???? haha anyway, its really hard for me to focus on the blessing in all of this--which is how nice it is to actually have a job. i did not have one last summer and i felt useless. at least now i have something to do and i am making money. i would at least rather have the complaint that i have a job rather than not having a job. but its suriously cutting into my social life, i mean like FOR REALLL! ummm anyway so... i am reading in my bible some more just where i left off. Romans 11. There is one verse that i really really like in this 5 and 6. it states "So too, at the present time there is a remnant chosen by grace and if by grace, then it is no longer works, if it were, grace would no longer be grace" I feel like this really sums up what i believe about God sometimes, that i have to work to blessed as if i have to work for and if i don't do A B or C then i won't get what i've been praying for, but that's really not what it is about. again, this may just seem redundant like my other post like blah blah i've heard this before, but if it is so simple then why don't i just listen. i need to do things for God out of a thankful not a heart of negotiation because grace is grace, its given to you not earned. which i think is kind of comforting God just does it because he loves us. ahhh :)
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Wonderful Wednesday :-P
I feel like this past week I've been reflecting a lot on my goals for this coming spring/summer, and ultimately the rest of my life I guess. What Pastor Andrew said in Sunday's sermons about "making investments" really spoke to me.
Specifically, there are two passages from Ecclesiastes that have been sort of guiding these commitments:
"The lover of money will not be satisfied with money; nor the lover of wealth, with gain. This also is vanity." --Ecclesiastes 5:10
I deceive myself that so many other things will make me happy but in the end, no person or situation will produce everlasting happiness; only the lover of God will be fully satisfied. This guides my decisions because I know that no matter what commitments I make, my motivation should be to seek God; not to be focused on thinking accomplishing one thing will make me satisfied. This is a little rambly but hope it sort of makes sense!
"When you make a vow to God, do not delay in fulfilling it; for he has no pleasure in fools. Fulfill what you vow. It is better that you should not vow than that you should vow and not fulfill it." -Ecclesiastes 5:4-5
Seriously, how many times have I made a new commitment only to fail and come back with it again as if it's a totally new commitment. It really struck me when it said in this verse that it's better not to make the vow at all. I really need to work on following through on commitments!
So...here are my 5 goals (not all are specifically "church-y"):
1) consistent devotions--a) catch up on BRP; b) learn to really intercede for people
2) be more consistent/engaged in classes--which means being prepared with readings, reviewing notes, etc.
3) kill my ever-building to-do list/work on following through on commitments more quickly--there are things that have been on there for months and really need to just be done!
4) try to get outside of myself with meeting up with people more regularly and investing deeper in relationships--especially in my LG and with my new roommates
5) actively invest in my relationship with my father
This is already really long, but the basic update here is that work and class are going well, I'm getting to know two of my housemates a little more (although I've still only seen the third twice), and lg is going really well so far--we're ACE! Also, I'm going home this weekend!!! I'm really excited to see my family. I've seen my mom a few times but no one else in my family since February.
Specifically, there are two passages from Ecclesiastes that have been sort of guiding these commitments:
"The lover of money will not be satisfied with money; nor the lover of wealth, with gain. This also is vanity." --Ecclesiastes 5:10
I deceive myself that so many other things will make me happy but in the end, no person or situation will produce everlasting happiness; only the lover of God will be fully satisfied. This guides my decisions because I know that no matter what commitments I make, my motivation should be to seek God; not to be focused on thinking accomplishing one thing will make me satisfied. This is a little rambly but hope it sort of makes sense!
"When you make a vow to God, do not delay in fulfilling it; for he has no pleasure in fools. Fulfill what you vow. It is better that you should not vow than that you should vow and not fulfill it." -Ecclesiastes 5:4-5
Seriously, how many times have I made a new commitment only to fail and come back with it again as if it's a totally new commitment. It really struck me when it said in this verse that it's better not to make the vow at all. I really need to work on following through on commitments!
So...here are my 5 goals (not all are specifically "church-y"):
1) consistent devotions--a) catch up on BRP; b) learn to really intercede for people
2) be more consistent/engaged in classes--which means being prepared with readings, reviewing notes, etc.
3) kill my ever-building to-do list/work on following through on commitments more quickly--there are things that have been on there for months and really need to just be done!
4) try to get outside of myself with meeting up with people more regularly and investing deeper in relationships--especially in my LG and with my new roommates
5) actively invest in my relationship with my father
This is already really long, but the basic update here is that work and class are going well, I'm getting to know two of my housemates a little more (although I've still only seen the third twice), and lg is going really well so far--we're ACE! Also, I'm going home this weekend!!! I'm really excited to see my family. I've seen my mom a few times but no one else in my family since February.
carol punishment day 3
Hi again lol
1 Peter 1: 13Therefore, prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled; set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed. 14As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance. 15But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; 16for it is written: "Be holy, because I am holy."[a]
This spoke to me a lot. I have had major issues with self control my whole life. Whenever I want something I usually cannot restrain myself...this relates to overeating, opening my mouth when it should be shut, knowingly doing things that IM not supposed to just because I cannot control myself, etc. Some of these sound silly but I think they sometimes lead to more serious sins. I would really like to learn self-control and become more of a Godly woman...I do not think that I can change by myself, but it will have to be the holy spirit working in me! w00t w00t
1 Peter 1: 13Therefore, prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled; set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed. 14As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance. 15But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; 16for it is written: "Be holy, because I am holy."[a]
This spoke to me a lot. I have had major issues with self control my whole life. Whenever I want something I usually cannot restrain myself...this relates to overeating, opening my mouth when it should be shut, knowingly doing things that IM not supposed to just because I cannot control myself, etc. Some of these sound silly but I think they sometimes lead to more serious sins. I would really like to learn self-control and become more of a Godly woman...I do not think that I can change by myself, but it will have to be the holy spirit working in me! w00t w00t
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
erica's day
NOOOO i swear i wrote this last night after lizz/carol reminded me but i didn't push the publish button!! NOOO can i please not be punished?? :(
hello everybody! :)
i just caught up on the BRP today! awesomeness hahaha. and since today's also my day to post, i'm glad i caught up because now i have something to share with you all.
1 Peter 4:7-11 really spoke to me:
7The end of all things is near. Therefore be clear minded and self-controlled so that you can pray. 8Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. 9Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. 10Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms. 11If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen.
this entire past year, i feel like God's been asking me to do three simple things:
-read the Bible daily (which i have been doing on and off)
-pray daily (which i have been doing way more off than on)
-memorize scripture (which sadly ceased to happen after missions ended)
i really want to make this verse my prayer/motto for the coming year. i want to be praying, above all else. and i want to be giving, i want to serve, i want to love, and do all of this only for God.
oh, something else i want to share with you guys hahah. this passage was from a while ago, but it popped back into my mind as i was praying the other day. it's from hebrews 12
in line with my previous entry, i think God's been revealing a lot of weaknesses within me lately, and i think i really took heart from this passage. if God doesn't reveal all these weaknesses in me, how am i supposed to be made better? instead of sitting here disheartened, i should be joyful at the chance God is allowing me to refine myself. so this week i've been less disheartened (yay!) i'm still failing all the time, and still struggling with my idol of spiritual pride (so ironic, what the heck i can't even do quiet time consistently so what on earth would i have to be proud of!? and yet i am -___- ). been also spending quality time with sisters, which is always good :)
ok, that's all for me for now! i have no internet at home now :( because i didn't want to fork out $20+ for internet for just a month and a half. and i need to walk home after this, and i don't want to walk home too late.
love,
erica
hello everybody! :)
i just caught up on the BRP today! awesomeness hahaha. and since today's also my day to post, i'm glad i caught up because now i have something to share with you all.
1 Peter 4:7-11 really spoke to me:
7The end of all things is near. Therefore be clear minded and self-controlled so that you can pray. 8Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. 9Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. 10Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms. 11If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen.
this entire past year, i feel like God's been asking me to do three simple things:
-read the Bible daily (which i have been doing on and off)
-pray daily (which i have been doing way more off than on)
-memorize scripture (which sadly ceased to happen after missions ended)
i really want to make this verse my prayer/motto for the coming year. i want to be praying, above all else. and i want to be giving, i want to serve, i want to love, and do all of this only for God.
oh, something else i want to share with you guys hahah. this passage was from a while ago, but it popped back into my mind as i was praying the other day. it's from hebrews 12
4In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. 5And you have forgotten that word of encouragement that addresses you as sons:
"My son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline,
and do not lose heart when he rebukes you,
6because the Lord disciplines those he loves,
and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son."a]">[a]
7Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? 8If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. 9Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live! 10Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. 11No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.
12Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. 13"Make level paths for your feet,"b]">[b] so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed.
in line with my previous entry, i think God's been revealing a lot of weaknesses within me lately, and i think i really took heart from this passage. if God doesn't reveal all these weaknesses in me, how am i supposed to be made better? instead of sitting here disheartened, i should be joyful at the chance God is allowing me to refine myself. so this week i've been less disheartened (yay!) i'm still failing all the time, and still struggling with my idol of spiritual pride (so ironic, what the heck i can't even do quiet time consistently so what on earth would i have to be proud of!? and yet i am -___- ). been also spending quality time with sisters, which is always good :)
ok, that's all for me for now! i have no internet at home now :( because i didn't want to fork out $20+ for internet for just a month and a half. and i need to walk home after this, and i don't want to walk home too late.
love,
erica
carol punishment: day 2
Hello.
Isaiah Chap 2:
8 Their land is full of idols;
they bow down to the work of their hands,
to what their fingers have made.
22 Stop trusting in man,
who has but a breath in his nostrils.
Of what account is he?
Sometimes it is funny to me how I can get rebuked directly from the word of God lol...the past few weeks, like I have mentioned in previous posts, I have been struggling a lot with idolizing people. When something bad happens to me, I often seek advice or counsel or comfort from people FIRST before going to God... and sometimes it feels like theres a void in my heart that I try to fill with people, but in my head I know that It can only be filled completely by God. This is a major heart issue that I want to work through this summer...
God has also been showing me lately about the fickleness of my own heart. It seems like one day I will declare that I am want to be 100% for God but then just a few hours later, I will find myself being selfish in terms of my actions and thoughts throughout the day. But i am thankful because as my spiritual mentor always reminds me, his grace and mercies are new every day!
PS- I will post a nice long blog about the focus impact retreat soon...it was really good / lifechanging in ways! :)
Isaiah Chap 2:
8 Their land is full of idols;
they bow down to the work of their hands,
to what their fingers have made.
22 Stop trusting in man,
who has but a breath in his nostrils.
Of what account is he?
Sometimes it is funny to me how I can get rebuked directly from the word of God lol...the past few weeks, like I have mentioned in previous posts, I have been struggling a lot with idolizing people. When something bad happens to me, I often seek advice or counsel or comfort from people FIRST before going to God... and sometimes it feels like theres a void in my heart that I try to fill with people, but in my head I know that It can only be filled completely by God. This is a major heart issue that I want to work through this summer...
God has also been showing me lately about the fickleness of my own heart. It seems like one day I will declare that I am want to be 100% for God but then just a few hours later, I will find myself being selfish in terms of my actions and thoughts throughout the day. But i am thankful because as my spiritual mentor always reminds me, his grace and mercies are new every day!
PS- I will post a nice long blog about the focus impact retreat soon...it was really good / lifechanging in ways! :)
Monday, May 17, 2010
Magnificent Monday
Hey guys,
So, I was in Ann Arbor this weekend and got to attend Sunday Celebration yesterday, so I've decided to reflect on Pastor Andrew's sermon. :) Also, honestly, I'm a couple of days behind on the BRP, but more on that below.
I got to the service yesterday morning and realized I had forgotten a notebook. I figured it wasn't really a big deal, though and figured I'd be fine just listening. Then Pastor Andrew started talking. He opened by talking about this guy, Randy Pausch, a professor at Carnegie Mellon who was asked to participate in a lecture series called "The Last Lecture", the premise of which is that professors are given the chance to lecture on whatever subject they would if it were the last lecture of their life. For Randy Pausch, though, it really was his last lecture because he had been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and only had a couple of months to live. He chose to talk about achieving one's childhood dreams and how to live without regret. He then went on to write a book based on this lecture. Now, I know that a lot of people have found this lecture incredibly inspiring, but it really means a lot to my family and me personally. About three years ago (a year before this book was published), my uncle died of pancreatic cancer. Though his death wasn't unexpected, it hit us all really hard. It was this book that really helped us (especially my mom) deal with my uncle's death and start to move on. In fact, she even gave me the book as a gift when I graduated high school. So knowing all of this, hopefully it makes more sense when I say that I nearly started crying yesterday when Pastor Andrew showed a clip of the lecture in church. And I rarely cry. Anyway, needless to say, I knew that this sermon would probably really speak to me and that I had to write it down...so I'm now writing this reflection from notes I scribbled on the back of a receipt I found in my purse haha.
Pastor Andrew took the idea of living without regrets and talked about how we as Christians should strive to live without regrets, based from the lessons Paul teaches about in Acts 20:13-35. All of the lessons held a powerful message, but what spoke to me the most was the idea that we should strive to be completed. As Pastor Andrew put it, the Word is the main channel to God's grace. I know this is true, and I've heard it many times, but somehow I always manage to forget just how amazing and important God's word truly is. And then, sometimes even when I think I understand the magnitude of the gospel, I don't think I really do because I tend to have this mindset that it's really important for me and others who already believe, but that it doesn't necessarily need to be spread to those who don't already believe it. Sav, I completely understand where you're coming from on the issue of missions and evangelism in general. But I think for me, part of my hesitancy in spreading the gospel definitely comes from not wanting to offend others, but a large part also comes from the fear that I am inept and unqualified to do so. Luckily for me, Pastor Andrew then shared a quote from Charles Spurgeon, who was a contemporary of Whitfield and Wesley: "Whitfield and Wesley may preach the gospel better than I do, but they could not preach a better gospel." How true is that?!? This really reinforced the idea that my self-confidence (or self-consciousness) should not be a factor in sharing God with someone. After all, it's not like I'm going at it alone, God is with me.
I'll keep the update short since I've already written a lot. I spent the weekend in Ann Arbor, and between trying to catch up with everyone I know who's still there while also making it the most epic Harry Potter-filled time ever, it was ridiculously chaotic, and I'm pretty sure I only slept 9 hours total the entire time I was there. It was definitely worth it though. :D I was also able to realize that it wasn't a coincidence that The Last Lecture was mentioned in church the same day I was going to spend 4 hours straight in alone in a car with my mom, and so I was able to share a little bit with her. The conversation still didn't get that deep, since I think we were both a little uncomfortable, but I'm starting to be able to have full-length conversations about Harvest more regularly, which is definitely a good thing.
I love and miss you all,
Shelby
Btw, the life application from the sermon yesterday was to make an investment this summer that you will not regret. I really hope that all of you will continue to make an investment in your relationships with God through your participation in this blog. :)
So, I was in Ann Arbor this weekend and got to attend Sunday Celebration yesterday, so I've decided to reflect on Pastor Andrew's sermon. :) Also, honestly, I'm a couple of days behind on the BRP, but more on that below.
I got to the service yesterday morning and realized I had forgotten a notebook. I figured it wasn't really a big deal, though and figured I'd be fine just listening. Then Pastor Andrew started talking. He opened by talking about this guy, Randy Pausch, a professor at Carnegie Mellon who was asked to participate in a lecture series called "The Last Lecture", the premise of which is that professors are given the chance to lecture on whatever subject they would if it were the last lecture of their life. For Randy Pausch, though, it really was his last lecture because he had been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and only had a couple of months to live. He chose to talk about achieving one's childhood dreams and how to live without regret. He then went on to write a book based on this lecture. Now, I know that a lot of people have found this lecture incredibly inspiring, but it really means a lot to my family and me personally. About three years ago (a year before this book was published), my uncle died of pancreatic cancer. Though his death wasn't unexpected, it hit us all really hard. It was this book that really helped us (especially my mom) deal with my uncle's death and start to move on. In fact, she even gave me the book as a gift when I graduated high school. So knowing all of this, hopefully it makes more sense when I say that I nearly started crying yesterday when Pastor Andrew showed a clip of the lecture in church. And I rarely cry. Anyway, needless to say, I knew that this sermon would probably really speak to me and that I had to write it down...so I'm now writing this reflection from notes I scribbled on the back of a receipt I found in my purse haha.
Pastor Andrew took the idea of living without regrets and talked about how we as Christians should strive to live without regrets, based from the lessons Paul teaches about in Acts 20:13-35. All of the lessons held a powerful message, but what spoke to me the most was the idea that we should strive to be completed. As Pastor Andrew put it, the Word is the main channel to God's grace. I know this is true, and I've heard it many times, but somehow I always manage to forget just how amazing and important God's word truly is. And then, sometimes even when I think I understand the magnitude of the gospel, I don't think I really do because I tend to have this mindset that it's really important for me and others who already believe, but that it doesn't necessarily need to be spread to those who don't already believe it. Sav, I completely understand where you're coming from on the issue of missions and evangelism in general. But I think for me, part of my hesitancy in spreading the gospel definitely comes from not wanting to offend others, but a large part also comes from the fear that I am inept and unqualified to do so. Luckily for me, Pastor Andrew then shared a quote from Charles Spurgeon, who was a contemporary of Whitfield and Wesley: "Whitfield and Wesley may preach the gospel better than I do, but they could not preach a better gospel." How true is that?!? This really reinforced the idea that my self-confidence (or self-consciousness) should not be a factor in sharing God with someone. After all, it's not like I'm going at it alone, God is with me.
I'll keep the update short since I've already written a lot. I spent the weekend in Ann Arbor, and between trying to catch up with everyone I know who's still there while also making it the most epic Harry Potter-filled time ever, it was ridiculously chaotic, and I'm pretty sure I only slept 9 hours total the entire time I was there. It was definitely worth it though. :D I was also able to realize that it wasn't a coincidence that The Last Lecture was mentioned in church the same day I was going to spend 4 hours straight in alone in a car with my mom, and so I was able to share a little bit with her. The conversation still didn't get that deep, since I think we were both a little uncomfortable, but I'm starting to be able to have full-length conversations about Harvest more regularly, which is definitely a good thing.
I love and miss you all,
Shelby
Btw, the life application from the sermon yesterday was to make an investment this summer that you will not regret. I really hope that all of you will continue to make an investment in your relationships with God through your participation in this blog. :)
Dang it, missed my day too.
So Deuteronomy is out the window and now I am reading Proverbs instead. haha. The first section is called I. Introduction: The Value of Wisdom.
Chapter one explains that the wise person fears God and is always seeking greater wisdom and knowledge, while the fool is arrogant and therefore ignorant as well, disdainful of being taught greater wisdom.
Here are a few verses that I like:
7 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; wisdom and instruction fools despise.
19 This is the fate of everyone greedy of loot; unlawful gain takes away the life of him who acquires it.
24 ...I called and you refused, I extended my hand and no one took notice.. you disdained all my counsel, and my reproof you ignored.
31 Now they must eat the fruit of their own way, and with their own devices be glutted. 32 For the self-will of the simple kill them, the smugness of fools destroys them. 33 But he who obeys me dwells in security, in peace, without fear of harm.
So lets, see - the first idea this made me think about was in verse 7 up there: fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge. As it says in the awesome footnote-y things, fear of the Lord is, in other words, "reverential fear and respect for God on account of his sovereignty, goodness and justice toward men". There are a lot of people out there that would say that all sorts of wisdom and knowledge and virtue are possible without a belief in God, per se. But the way I see it is that "fear of the Lord" is just the exact opposite of pride. In order to go about seeking wisdom and knowledge you have to acknowledge that there is an absolute truth and order to things that exists apart from your own little brain. So for all those people that say that wisdom and virtue are possible without belief in God, I would say to just substitute "fear and respect for Natural Law" instead of "fear and respect for God".
Okay, secondly, I like the idea in verse 24-ish that Wisdom, who is the narrator here, is always there waiting for us to just take her hand. The only reason why we wouldn't is our arrogance, our disdain for counsel. Although sometimes it is tricky to know exactly what the wise thing to do is, I think usually my conscience is telling me what to do if I would just make an effort to listen.
And finally, the idea that sinners are punished by the bad fruits which their sins produce. That reminds me of Paster Pete's sermon on idols - worshiping idols always leads to death, while worshiping God leads to life. Also, it reminds me of this one part in the best commencement speech ever:
During the sermon, the pastor (Pastor Jeff, pictured at left) brought up something that sort of relates to that proverbs chapter. He said that even though he knows that he should follow Apostle Paul's example and go out and do risky things with the Gospel at the center of his life, he just plain doesn't want to risk his health, wealth, and everything that he's gotten settled for himself here. He said that his prayer is something like "God, help me want to want to do the harder things". What do you guys think about this? Do you think that we should do what we know is most righteous, even when we REALLY don't want to make the necessary sacrifices? Isn't just sort of cowardly to pray, "Help me want to do that, because I sure don't want to right now" ??
Chapter one explains that the wise person fears God and is always seeking greater wisdom and knowledge, while the fool is arrogant and therefore ignorant as well, disdainful of being taught greater wisdom.
Here are a few verses that I like:
7 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; wisdom and instruction fools despise.
19 This is the fate of everyone greedy of loot; unlawful gain takes away the life of him who acquires it.
24 ...I called and you refused, I extended my hand and no one took notice.. you disdained all my counsel, and my reproof you ignored.
31 Now they must eat the fruit of their own way, and with their own devices be glutted. 32 For the self-will of the simple kill them, the smugness of fools destroys them. 33 But he who obeys me dwells in security, in peace, without fear of harm.
So lets, see - the first idea this made me think about was in verse 7 up there: fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge. As it says in the awesome footnote-y things, fear of the Lord is, in other words, "reverential fear and respect for God on account of his sovereignty, goodness and justice toward men". There are a lot of people out there that would say that all sorts of wisdom and knowledge and virtue are possible without a belief in God, per se. But the way I see it is that "fear of the Lord" is just the exact opposite of pride. In order to go about seeking wisdom and knowledge you have to acknowledge that there is an absolute truth and order to things that exists apart from your own little brain. So for all those people that say that wisdom and virtue are possible without belief in God, I would say to just substitute "fear and respect for Natural Law" instead of "fear and respect for God".
Okay, secondly, I like the idea in verse 24-ish that Wisdom, who is the narrator here, is always there waiting for us to just take her hand. The only reason why we wouldn't is our arrogance, our disdain for counsel. Although sometimes it is tricky to know exactly what the wise thing to do is, I think usually my conscience is telling me what to do if I would just make an effort to listen.
And finally, the idea that sinners are punished by the bad fruits which their sins produce. That reminds me of Paster Pete's sermon on idols - worshiping idols always leads to death, while worshiping God leads to life. Also, it reminds me of this one part in the best commencement speech ever:
There is no such thing as not worshipping. Everybody worships. The only choice we get is what to worship. And the compelling reason for maybe choosing some sort of god or spiritual-type thing to worship -- be it JC or Allah, bet it YHWH or the Wiccan Mother Goddess, or the Four Noble Truths, or some inviolable set of ethical principles -- is that pretty much anything else you worship will eat you alive. If you worship money and things, if they are where you tap real meaning in life, then you will never have enough, never feel you have enough. It's the truth. Worship your body and beauty and sexual allure and you will always feel ugly. And when time and age start showing, you will die a million deaths before they finally grieve you... Worship power, you will end up feeling weak and afraid, and you will need ever more power over others to numb you to your own fear. Worship your intellect, being seen as smart, you will end up feeling stupid, a fraud, always on the verge of being found out. But the insidious thing about these forms of worship is not that they're evil or sinful, it's that they're unconscious.Okay. Yesterday, I actually decided to go to this church i google-mapped that's near where I live called "Servant's Community Church". It was pretty nice - as soon as I sat down, the woman next to me (she was prob. like 30) introduced herself and was very welcoming. The actual service was sort of a mix between Harvest and all the protestant services I've been to and a Catholic mass. Yeah. Because there were some definite ritual-y aspects. There was a recitation of a confession. After the reading from the Acts of the Apostles (chapter 16!), the pastor said "The word of the Lord" and we all responded "Thanks be to God". But there was no communion and no organ haha.
During the sermon, the pastor (Pastor Jeff, pictured at left) brought up something that sort of relates to that proverbs chapter. He said that even though he knows that he should follow Apostle Paul's example and go out and do risky things with the Gospel at the center of his life, he just plain doesn't want to risk his health, wealth, and everything that he's gotten settled for himself here. He said that his prayer is something like "God, help me want to want to do the harder things". What do you guys think about this? Do you think that we should do what we know is most righteous, even when we REALLY don't want to make the necessary sacrifices? Isn't just sort of cowardly to pray, "Help me want to do that, because I sure don't want to right now" ??
carol punishment: day 1
Hello!
I have been reading Isaiah and it has been really hard for me to take stuff away and so I decided to restart over and read the book even though I don't like it too much. So for chapter 1,
13 Stop bringing me your meaningless gifts;
the incense of your offerings disgusts me!
As for your celebrations of the new moon and the Sabbath
and your special days for fasting—
they are all sinful and false.
I was reminded that God doesn't care about what we do externally... like serving or praying or meeting with people or going to church events if our hearts are not devoted to him completely. I think its easy for me to fool myself into thinking that I am okay with God even though I might still be holding onto different idols as I am worshipping/serving Him. I had to repent a few days ago (friday night) at the retreat when I realized there was junk in my heart that prevented me from fully worshipping God joyfully. I was just reminded the importance of daily repentence and the importance of staying connected with God on a regular basis.
“Though your sins are like scarlet,
I will make them as white as snow.
Though they are red like crimson,
I will make them as white as wool.
This verses were comforting for me because I have been seeing more of my sinful nature lately and its nice to know that God can cleanse my heart in its depravity if I come to Him!
I have been reading Isaiah and it has been really hard for me to take stuff away and so I decided to restart over and read the book even though I don't like it too much. So for chapter 1,
13 Stop bringing me your meaningless gifts;
the incense of your offerings disgusts me!
As for your celebrations of the new moon and the Sabbath
and your special days for fasting—
they are all sinful and false.
I was reminded that God doesn't care about what we do externally... like serving or praying or meeting with people or going to church events if our hearts are not devoted to him completely. I think its easy for me to fool myself into thinking that I am okay with God even though I might still be holding onto different idols as I am worshipping/serving Him. I had to repent a few days ago (friday night) at the retreat when I realized there was junk in my heart that prevented me from fully worshipping God joyfully. I was just reminded the importance of daily repentence and the importance of staying connected with God on a regular basis.
“Though your sins are like scarlet,
I will make them as white as snow.
Though they are red like crimson,
I will make them as white as wool.
This verses were comforting for me because I have been seeing more of my sinful nature lately and its nice to know that God can cleanse my heart in its depravity if I come to Him!
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Sav on Saturday
I'm reading this book by Steve Brown entitled "A Scandalous Freedom." I recommend it to anyone who wants to be free from sin and religious law or who is simply curious about what God means when He says, "You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free" (John 8:32).
The word freedom used means liberation from bondage. Bondage from what? From sin? From other people? From ourselves? From expectations? From perfection? Freedom from what? Freedom to do what? So many issues brought up by that one little word "freedom." Brown presents the idea that we, as Christians, are free to do whatever we want. That does not mean there will not be consequences. The Bible says that we are free to make any choice - but we will have to pay the price. It does mean that God will love us whatever we do - whether right or wrong - because He sees Jesus in our place.
Furthermore, "nothing is unclean in itself, but it is unclean for anyone who thinks it unclean" (Romans 14:14). Is God saying, then, that everything was created holy and is only made sinful by our own thoughts or uses? How, then, do we define what is sin and what is wrong? I guess I don't think Paul is talking about what God has called sinful, but controversial issues, like what to drink or eat or how to dress. I guess the main point that Brown is trying to make is that we have freedom as to how we act and what choices we make. We are not God's puppets.
However, Paul warns us: "For you were called to freedom, brothers and sisters; only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for self-indulgence" (Galations 5:13). God will still love us if we do, but that does not mean we will be better people for it. See Romans 6: 15-18 for a discussion on what freedom means. These verses say that some acts of freedom actually destroy our freedom. It says that God is now our master, and we are free from sin. How does this new "bondage" fit in with the idea of freedom? Freedom from sin that does not let us do anything is another kind of bondage.
Then again, God is not saying that we have to do this or that. He is merely saying that our freedom comes with a steep price. The price of blood. The price of consequences - even the price of slavery. Paul answers this question in 1 Corinthians 9:19: "Even though I am free from the demands and expectations of everyone, I have voluntarily become a servant to any and all in order to reach a wide range of people." That's huge. Freedom is frightening, but it is also powerful. It takes from the religious their control over people's actions and souls and places that right in God's hands.
God has a just side, but when we become Christians, He is merciful and compassionate. We should be in awe of God, but not be fearful of His disappointment or condemnation. We are free! We are not bound by the old Law. We are not bound by certain rules and expectations in order to approach God. We don't have to be good or perfect or always thinking about our sins. In fact, constant guilt over our sins is a form of bondage. A bondage that Jesus has already paid the price for! That's freedom.
I'm also reading this book called "Revolution in World Missions" by K. P. Yohannan. It is completely changing my views on missions and evangelism. I highly recommend it. The book presents this idea that sadly enough, I've never really heard preached before with such boldness: the spiritual needs of the lost are more important than their physical needs. I'm struggling with this one, but it makes sense. Jesus fed the thousands after he preached. He told us to clothe the poor and offer drink to the thirsty, but He also told us, "Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behond, I am with you always, to the end of the age" (Matthew 28:19-20).
We are not send out to be social activists or political agents of change - we are sent out to bring the Gospel and to change people's spiritual eternity. The Bible says, what use is it to gain the world and lose your soul? Well, what use is it if we feed the poor and clothe the naked but abandon their spiritual hunger? I'll be honest, I don't want that to be true. It makes me squirm and feel uncomfortable. I would rather just minister to people's physical needs. Less controversial. But I am free in Christ! Free from the opinions and statements of others. Thus I have the boldness and concern to share what I know of God with others. If I truly believe in Hell, and Jesus speaks more often of Hell than Heaven, then I must believe in God's judgment. If I believe in God's judgment, why am I not more active for Christ?!
Anyways, this post is long enough. I just have so much I'm learning! I'm in Tennessee right now - I drove with my grandparents from Florida yesterday. The trip was uneventful, although I was able to spend most of the 11 hours in prayer and reading the Bible. I didn't even get car sick, which I normally do. I pray that you all find this post speaks to you as much as it has spoken to me. God bless!
The word freedom used means liberation from bondage. Bondage from what? From sin? From other people? From ourselves? From expectations? From perfection? Freedom from what? Freedom to do what? So many issues brought up by that one little word "freedom." Brown presents the idea that we, as Christians, are free to do whatever we want. That does not mean there will not be consequences. The Bible says that we are free to make any choice - but we will have to pay the price. It does mean that God will love us whatever we do - whether right or wrong - because He sees Jesus in our place.
Furthermore, "nothing is unclean in itself, but it is unclean for anyone who thinks it unclean" (Romans 14:14). Is God saying, then, that everything was created holy and is only made sinful by our own thoughts or uses? How, then, do we define what is sin and what is wrong? I guess I don't think Paul is talking about what God has called sinful, but controversial issues, like what to drink or eat or how to dress. I guess the main point that Brown is trying to make is that we have freedom as to how we act and what choices we make. We are not God's puppets.
However, Paul warns us: "For you were called to freedom, brothers and sisters; only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for self-indulgence" (Galations 5:13). God will still love us if we do, but that does not mean we will be better people for it. See Romans 6: 15-18 for a discussion on what freedom means. These verses say that some acts of freedom actually destroy our freedom. It says that God is now our master, and we are free from sin. How does this new "bondage" fit in with the idea of freedom? Freedom from sin that does not let us do anything is another kind of bondage.
Then again, God is not saying that we have to do this or that. He is merely saying that our freedom comes with a steep price. The price of blood. The price of consequences - even the price of slavery. Paul answers this question in 1 Corinthians 9:19: "Even though I am free from the demands and expectations of everyone, I have voluntarily become a servant to any and all in order to reach a wide range of people." That's huge. Freedom is frightening, but it is also powerful. It takes from the religious their control over people's actions and souls and places that right in God's hands.
God has a just side, but when we become Christians, He is merciful and compassionate. We should be in awe of God, but not be fearful of His disappointment or condemnation. We are free! We are not bound by the old Law. We are not bound by certain rules and expectations in order to approach God. We don't have to be good or perfect or always thinking about our sins. In fact, constant guilt over our sins is a form of bondage. A bondage that Jesus has already paid the price for! That's freedom.
I'm also reading this book called "Revolution in World Missions" by K. P. Yohannan. It is completely changing my views on missions and evangelism. I highly recommend it. The book presents this idea that sadly enough, I've never really heard preached before with such boldness: the spiritual needs of the lost are more important than their physical needs. I'm struggling with this one, but it makes sense. Jesus fed the thousands after he preached. He told us to clothe the poor and offer drink to the thirsty, but He also told us, "Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behond, I am with you always, to the end of the age" (Matthew 28:19-20).
We are not send out to be social activists or political agents of change - we are sent out to bring the Gospel and to change people's spiritual eternity. The Bible says, what use is it to gain the world and lose your soul? Well, what use is it if we feed the poor and clothe the naked but abandon their spiritual hunger? I'll be honest, I don't want that to be true. It makes me squirm and feel uncomfortable. I would rather just minister to people's physical needs. Less controversial. But I am free in Christ! Free from the opinions and statements of others. Thus I have the boldness and concern to share what I know of God with others. If I truly believe in Hell, and Jesus speaks more often of Hell than Heaven, then I must believe in God's judgment. If I believe in God's judgment, why am I not more active for Christ?!
Anyways, this post is long enough. I just have so much I'm learning! I'm in Tennessee right now - I drove with my grandparents from Florida yesterday. The trip was uneventful, although I was able to spend most of the 11 hours in prayer and reading the Bible. I didn't even get car sick, which I normally do. I pray that you all find this post speaks to you as much as it has spoken to me. God bless!
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Wednesdayyyy
Hey!
It's really been a blessing to read each of your posts every day! I learn a lot from each of you and it's cool to see the updates of what's going on with all of you. :)
Reflecting on Proverbs 30:7-9:
"Two things I ask of you; do not deny them to me before i die: Remove far from me falsehood and lying; give me neither poverty nor riches; feed me with the food I need, or I shall be full, and deny you, and say, 'Who is the Lord?'"
I think sometimes the idea of depending on God for provision is a hard concept for Americans to really grasp in a consumerist culture of abundance and always having not only enough but choices in everything. For me too, I feel stretched when I have "just enough," even stuck in the mentality of lack or bitterness at God for not providing.
Like for example this past year. For a lot of the year, even working 35-40 hours a week, every time I paid a bill I would go to the double digits in my bank account. So, around December I cut out spending as much as I could all together--no eating out, no coffee or drinks that didn't come from a meal plan, no anything, really--and still, around January and the start of the semester because a family member needed to borrow some money that they said they could pay back quickly but were unable to, I had this week where I was literally desperate to find a way to pay for school and a rent check due that month and the winter retreat, etc. I kept adding up the numbers but the money I had even combined with my credit card just didn't add up. To add to it, with a glitch in my financial aid, it looked as if my work-study award would be cut and I'd have to volunteer for the semester for America Reads since as a team leader it's a full-year commitment. I remember one day on my mom's suggestion I walked up to Main Street to the Chase bank to see if I could get a credit advance to pay for my rent and after they rejected it, I just walked back sobbing the whole way. I called my mom about half way back and I remember I kept trying to say that we were blessed to have "just enough" but it was so hard to get out those words and I don't know that I really believed it at the time.
But the thing is, even when I had such little faith, God did provide what I needed. The next week, he provided $500 from the University that came out of absolutely no where. My family member was able to pay back the money. Through getting an advance on her retirement fund, my mom was able to give me some money toward school. I was able to get loans to make the semester a little more comfortable. He fixed the glitch with work-study. And all of it really happened in about a week from that walk back from Main Street.
I think for me, I really like to plan ahead and know what to expect. So it really takes mental training to get in the mindset of God providing the daily bread and being able to thank him for providing everything I need--even when I think I need more or something different--but it's true what this verse says at the end, that if we have everything ("if we're full"), then we deny God in our lives. So, albeit slowly, I'm really trying to learn the lesson of greater dependence on God.
So, short update on this week...in one word: BUSY!! Elizabeth has been in town since Sunday and it's been fun getting a chance to hang out at least a little bit, but simultaneously the work for my classes has really been poured out. This week, I have at least 100 pages to read for both classes and a group project and paper due tomorrow for one class. (The paper actually isn't started yet at this point...) I'll keep this brief so I can get started on that paper, but this week has definitely been a blessing too--spending time with Elizabeth, meeting up with conversation partners and a Korean family for whom I'm tutoring their kids, first day volunteering with Northwood ESL, first day of work, first day of LG...it's been full, but really good. PTL!
<3
Lizz
It's really been a blessing to read each of your posts every day! I learn a lot from each of you and it's cool to see the updates of what's going on with all of you. :)
Reflecting on Proverbs 30:7-9:
"Two things I ask of you; do not deny them to me before i die: Remove far from me falsehood and lying; give me neither poverty nor riches; feed me with the food I need, or I shall be full, and deny you, and say, 'Who is the Lord?'"
I think sometimes the idea of depending on God for provision is a hard concept for Americans to really grasp in a consumerist culture of abundance and always having not only enough but choices in everything. For me too, I feel stretched when I have "just enough," even stuck in the mentality of lack or bitterness at God for not providing.
Like for example this past year. For a lot of the year, even working 35-40 hours a week, every time I paid a bill I would go to the double digits in my bank account. So, around December I cut out spending as much as I could all together--no eating out, no coffee or drinks that didn't come from a meal plan, no anything, really--and still, around January and the start of the semester because a family member needed to borrow some money that they said they could pay back quickly but were unable to, I had this week where I was literally desperate to find a way to pay for school and a rent check due that month and the winter retreat, etc. I kept adding up the numbers but the money I had even combined with my credit card just didn't add up. To add to it, with a glitch in my financial aid, it looked as if my work-study award would be cut and I'd have to volunteer for the semester for America Reads since as a team leader it's a full-year commitment. I remember one day on my mom's suggestion I walked up to Main Street to the Chase bank to see if I could get a credit advance to pay for my rent and after they rejected it, I just walked back sobbing the whole way. I called my mom about half way back and I remember I kept trying to say that we were blessed to have "just enough" but it was so hard to get out those words and I don't know that I really believed it at the time.
But the thing is, even when I had such little faith, God did provide what I needed. The next week, he provided $500 from the University that came out of absolutely no where. My family member was able to pay back the money. Through getting an advance on her retirement fund, my mom was able to give me some money toward school. I was able to get loans to make the semester a little more comfortable. He fixed the glitch with work-study. And all of it really happened in about a week from that walk back from Main Street.
I think for me, I really like to plan ahead and know what to expect. So it really takes mental training to get in the mindset of God providing the daily bread and being able to thank him for providing everything I need--even when I think I need more or something different--but it's true what this verse says at the end, that if we have everything ("if we're full"), then we deny God in our lives. So, albeit slowly, I'm really trying to learn the lesson of greater dependence on God.
So, short update on this week...in one word: BUSY!! Elizabeth has been in town since Sunday and it's been fun getting a chance to hang out at least a little bit, but simultaneously the work for my classes has really been poured out. This week, I have at least 100 pages to read for both classes and a group project and paper due tomorrow for one class. (The paper actually isn't started yet at this point...) I'll keep this brief so I can get started on that paper, but this week has definitely been a blessing too--spending time with Elizabeth, meeting up with conversation partners and a Korean family for whom I'm tutoring their kids, first day volunteering with Northwood ESL, first day of work, first day of LG...it's been full, but really good. PTL!
<3
Lizz
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Erica's entry
hey everybody! :)
i enjoyed reading everybody's entry hahah :) thank you so much for sharing!
anyway, for today (yes - i know it's past 12 hahah. but it can still be tuesday!) i read james 3, and the verses that really stuck out to me was the whole section about wisdom:
13Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show it by his good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom. 14But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. 15Such "wisdom" does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, of the devil. 16For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.
i enjoyed reading everybody's entry hahah :) thank you so much for sharing!
anyway, for today (yes - i know it's past 12 hahah. but it can still be tuesday!) i read james 3, and the verses that really stuck out to me was the whole section about wisdom:
13Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show it by his good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom. 14But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. 15Such "wisdom" does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, of the devil. 16For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.
17But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. 18Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness.
lately i've been reflecting a lot on the wisdom, and how "the fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge" (proverbs 1:7). what does it mean to fear the Lord? i think, for me, fear of the Lord really means realizing my position relative to God: how i 100% need him, every second of the day; how i need to be humble and try not to stray away from him; how i need him to teach me and give me wisdom because i have not the ability to be able to respond to situations or help people with their issues. this may seem like something really basic and simple, but i've praying lately asking for it.
i want to update you guys on how i'm doing, but i'm so tired right now i'm not typing sense so i'm going to come back and edit this post later ><>
ok. praying for you!!
love,
erica
--
ok so, short update as promised... :)
i've been taking one class - stats 350. so far it's not been that bad, hahah. i'm waiting for it to get worse lol. having my first quiz this coming monday. i think lately i've just been watching myself fail a lot: i lied to some really close friends of mine (like, not even "not telling the whole truth" type lying or anything like that; i straight up stared them in the eyes and told them a complete lie) and afterwards felt so bad about it. hahah. i ended up telling them the truth, even though it took a lot of courage for me to do so. a lot of past things i've been struggling with have also been resurfacing with a vengeance - past habits, other things that i thought i had gotten rid of. i also have been really, really, REALLY bad with time management ><>
so all in all it's been a rather humbling spring so far hahah. and i know i prayed for this - i know i always sound stupid when i say this, but i struggle a lot with spiritual pride. what have i got to be prideful for!? i really don't know, hahah. i know it's ironic, because what on earth have i to be prideful for? and yet i strut around with my rags as though they were something really extraordinary, and the sad thing is at that at times i actually trick myself into believing that they actually are. therefore, even though it's been rather painful and humbling, i thank God for every sin and weakness that has been revealed in me this past week. it has been a forceful reminder that i desperately need God, and that even the very things i am proud of are just filthy rags being blown around in the wind.
ok. that was actually rather long. i'm sorry, i really need to learn how to type concisely >< hope you all are having an awesome summer!
for some reason i feel kind of compelled to share this with you all. it's from james 4:
8Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. 9Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. 10Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.
love,
erica
Monday, May 10, 2010
happy monday!
hello east quad crew!
In continuing on with the BRP today, I read Isaiah 8:1-9:7 and James 2. This part of James was about two things: 1) favoritism and 2) the importance of faith and works. The favoritism part discussed the fact that discriminating among people, particularly between rich and poor, is a sin because really, who are we to judge? God is the only one able to judge any of us. It then went on to say that in order to really love your neighbor as yourself, it isn't acceptable to show favoritism. This may seem like common sense, but I know that I personally have a tendency to judge others without even realizing what I'm doing. God's word says, though, that we should treat everyone equally, with mercy, "13 For judgement is without mercy to the one who hasn't shown mercy. Mercy triumphs over judgement." The faith and works part of this chapter talked about how having faith isn't enough. We need to act on it. Verse 10 really stuck out to me: "You believe that God is one; you do well. The demons also believe - and they shudder." This is basically saying that simply believing in God isn't enough because even demons, even the devil believe that God exists, but that doesn't mean that they're saved. Instead, we need to act on our faith, and these works show our faith to the rest of the world. In fact, verse 22 says "You see that faith was active together with his [referring to Abraham] works, and by works, faith was perfected." The two go hand in hand, and you can't legitimitely have one without the other.
Ok, update time! Let's see, I've now been home for a week, and while I think the down time has been really good for me, I'm also starting to go a little bit crazy because adjusting to both my parents' schedules and being back in this tiny town is really hard. I think some of my high school friends are finally coming home this week though, so that will be nice. Also, I'll be in Ann Arbor this coming weekend, and I'm so excited! haha Other than that, I really don't think there's much else new in my life....
hugs,
Shelby
In continuing on with the BRP today, I read Isaiah 8:1-9:7 and James 2. This part of James was about two things: 1) favoritism and 2) the importance of faith and works. The favoritism part discussed the fact that discriminating among people, particularly between rich and poor, is a sin because really, who are we to judge? God is the only one able to judge any of us. It then went on to say that in order to really love your neighbor as yourself, it isn't acceptable to show favoritism. This may seem like common sense, but I know that I personally have a tendency to judge others without even realizing what I'm doing. God's word says, though, that we should treat everyone equally, with mercy, "13 For judgement is without mercy to the one who hasn't shown mercy. Mercy triumphs over judgement." The faith and works part of this chapter talked about how having faith isn't enough. We need to act on it. Verse 10 really stuck out to me: "You believe that God is one; you do well. The demons also believe - and they shudder." This is basically saying that simply believing in God isn't enough because even demons, even the devil believe that God exists, but that doesn't mean that they're saved. Instead, we need to act on our faith, and these works show our faith to the rest of the world. In fact, verse 22 says "You see that faith was active together with his [referring to Abraham] works, and by works, faith was perfected." The two go hand in hand, and you can't legitimitely have one without the other.
Ok, update time! Let's see, I've now been home for a week, and while I think the down time has been really good for me, I'm also starting to go a little bit crazy because adjusting to both my parents' schedules and being back in this tiny town is really hard. I think some of my high school friends are finally coming home this week though, so that will be nice. Also, I'll be in Ann Arbor this coming weekend, and I'm so excited! haha Other than that, I really don't think there's much else new in my life....
hugs,
Shelby
Sunday, May 9, 2010
thurzzdaii
HI EREONE!!!!
ok so i still consider this thursday even thought it is past 12 ahaha. i have to get up in like 6 hours, uhhhhh.
anywho, i have recently "taken a break" from reading the Bible so I'm glad all of us are doing this :D
i guess i am picking up where i left off, i kind of just pick a spot in the Bible and start from there onward.
i am currently reading romans chapter 10, this is basically about how we can be saved by confessing our faith in jesus, there were a few verses that really stuck out to me while i was reading this... 11. As the Scripture says, "Anyone who trusts in him will never be put to shame." I feel like i have this type of message countless, you know like just trust in God and everything will be ok. But for some reason I just can't, it's like i am aware of the fact that you can't fail when you trust in God, but that is one of my biggest fears: failure. I'd say it controls me. haha i feel like im going off on a tangent here but you get the point, i really want to work on that, i really just want to let go, let God.
Also, 13. " for, ' Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved." I guess this verse poses some type of question. Now obviously it is very pleasing to God if you grow in your faith, serve the church, pray, read the Bible, etc. but i have always wondered if just believing was good enough, especially in the cases of people that i pray will find Christ.
As for my summer so far, my dad got me a job at Speedway, so yay i dont have to find one, the people are really nice, its just kind of boring. ahah. Also, the 10k im running is this saturday, and i almost got into a car accident today because im an idiot and didnt look both ways...w o w... But im fine, nothing happened, no one was hurt, i just felt really stupid. haha
ok so i still consider this thursday even thought it is past 12 ahaha. i have to get up in like 6 hours, uhhhhh.
anywho, i have recently "taken a break" from reading the Bible so I'm glad all of us are doing this :D
i guess i am picking up where i left off, i kind of just pick a spot in the Bible and start from there onward.
i am currently reading romans chapter 10, this is basically about how we can be saved by confessing our faith in jesus, there were a few verses that really stuck out to me while i was reading this... 11. As the Scripture says, "Anyone who trusts in him will never be put to shame." I feel like i have this type of message countless, you know like just trust in God and everything will be ok. But for some reason I just can't, it's like i am aware of the fact that you can't fail when you trust in God, but that is one of my biggest fears: failure. I'd say it controls me. haha i feel like im going off on a tangent here but you get the point, i really want to work on that, i really just want to let go, let God.
Also, 13. " for, ' Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved." I guess this verse poses some type of question. Now obviously it is very pleasing to God if you grow in your faith, serve the church, pray, read the Bible, etc. but i have always wondered if just believing was good enough, especially in the cases of people that i pray will find Christ.
As for my summer so far, my dad got me a job at Speedway, so yay i dont have to find one, the people are really nice, its just kind of boring. ahah. Also, the 10k im running is this saturday, and i almost got into a car accident today because im an idiot and didnt look both ways...w o w... But im fine, nothing happened, no one was hurt, i just felt really stupid. haha
Deuteronomy is fun to say!
And it means "second law" but apparently what that really means in context is that Deuteronomy is like a reiteration of THE law which is the ten commandments. Anyway, I read the first chapter of it just now. What's going on is the Israelites have left Egypt and are on their way to the Promised Land. Apparently it was a super long journey. Deuteronomy starts when they are in their fortieth year.
Here are some selections:
17 In rendering judgment, do not consider who a person is: give ear to the lowly and to the great alike, fearing no man, for judgment is God's.
21 The Lord, your God, has given this land over to you. Go up and occupy it, as the Lord, the God of your fathers, commands you. Do not fear or lose heart.
25 ... The land which the Lord, our God, gives us is good.
29 ... Have no dread or fear of them. 30 The Lord, your God, who goes before you, will himself fight for you, just as he took your part before your very eyes in Egypt, 31 as well as in the desert, where you saw how the Lord, your God, carried you, as a man carries his child, all along your journey until you arrived at this place.
35 Not one man of this evil generation shall look upon the good land I swore to give to your fathers, except Caleb... because he has followed the Lord unreservedly.
39 ...your children, who as yet do not know good from bad - they shall enter... 40 But as for yourselves, turn about and proceed into the desert on the Red Sea road.
I like the comparison in verse 31 of God to a man carrying his child. God gave his people everything good that they have and he has promised to protect them as long as they obey him. If they don't obey him, verses 35 through 39 happen.
It seems throughout the chapter like God directly told Moses what the Israelites should do next, and it was when they didn't do what he commanded that God "was angered" and called them "this evil generation". That is some pretty straight-forward justice. But verses 17 and 39 are more interesting.
In Verse 17 Moses advocates equality under the law. He actually says, "administer true justice to both parties even if one of them is an alien". Assuming alien means somebody outside of the "Chosen People", this makes me question how the Israelites are supposed to know what true justice considering how God's Angel of Death killed all those first-born Egyptian children before.
Then verse 39 states that the children cannot be charged with disobeying God's commandment because they don't yet understand right from wrong. But I'm thinking aren't children at least capable of following rules? Can't they still be held accountable for disobeying a commandment even if they don't really understand why the commanded action is what they should do morally anyway? If the children are not guilty, I feel like it should be because they pretty much have to do what their "evil" parents tell them to do. What I am hoping though, is that this verse is actually implying that God's commandments to his people were not actually as direct as a voice from the sky telling Moses what they should do.
Apart from the justice thing, I also noticed that it is reiterated several times in the chapter that God's people should not "fear or lose heart" because if they trust in God and obey him there is nothing to fear. It's nice how God slash the author of this book, Moses, recognizes that this is something we need to be reminded of a lot.
Also, it's crazy-insane that at the end of this chapter, when the Israelites are so close to the Promised Land after 40 years of journeying, God gets so angry at them that he commands them to turn around and head back into the desert toward the Red Sea. THAT WOULD SUCK. But I looked ahead to the next chapter and it turns out that God sort of did the same thing here that he did to Abraham when he commanded him to kill Isaac. After the Israelites have followed his commandment and turned back into the desert, he tells them "you have wandered round these highlands long enough; turn and go north." Now I just can't decide whether this nifty tactic is fatherly or mean. What do you guys think?
Anyway, right now I am packing to leave for Grand Rapids tomorrow. I am starting at my internship on Tuesday and I am excited slash scared to be independent. Also looking forward to going out to eat with Amanda there at some point!
I made martha stewart brownies a few days ago (I'm going to eat one right after this). And let's see, I am reading a book called Speaking of Faith by Krista Tippett. She hosts a program on NPR called the same thing, Speaking of Faith, which my sister Miriam is obsessed with. It's super good, and I think I will write an entry here about it when I am finished.
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