Erica's entry

hey everybody! :)

i enjoyed reading everybody's entry hahah :) thank you so much for sharing!

anyway, for today (yes - i know it's past 12 hahah. but it can still be tuesday!) i read james 3, and the verses that really stuck out to me was the whole section about wisdom:

¹³Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show it by his good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom. ¹⁴But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. ¹⁵Such "wisdom" does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, of the devil. ¹⁶For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.

¹⁷But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. ¹⁸Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness.

lately i've been reflecting a lot on the wisdom, and how "the fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge" (proverbs 1:7). what does it mean to fear the Lord? i think, for me, fear of the Lord really means realizing my position relative to God: how i 100% need him, every second of the day; how i need to be humble and try not to stray away from him; how i need him to teach me and give me wisdom because i have not the ability to be able to respond to situations or help people with their issues. this may seem like something really basic and simple, but i've praying lately asking for it.

i want to update you guys on how i'm doing, but i'm so tired right now i'm not typing sense so i'm going to come back and edit this post later ><>

ok. praying for you!!

love,

erica

--

ok so, short update as promised... :)

i've been taking one class - stats 350. so far it's not been that bad, hahah. i'm waiting for it to get worse lol. having my first quiz this coming monday. i think lately i've just been watching myself fail a lot: i lied to some really close friends of mine (like, not even "not telling the whole truth" type lying or anything like that; i straight up stared them in the eyes and told them a complete lie) and afterwards felt so bad about it. hahah. i ended up telling them the truth, even though it took a lot of courage for me to do so. a lot of past things i've been struggling with have also been resurfacing with a vengeance - past habits, other things that i thought i had gotten rid of. i also have been really, really, REALLY bad with time management ><>

so all in all it's been a rather humbling spring so far hahah. and i know i prayed for this - i know i always sound stupid when i say this, but i struggle a lot with spiritual pride. what have i got to be prideful for!? i really don't know, hahah. i know it's ironic, because what on earth have i to be prideful for? and yet i strut around with my rags as though they were something really extraordinary, and the sad thing is at that at times i actually trick myself into believing that they actually are. therefore, even though it's been rather painful and humbling, i thank God for every sin and weakness that has been revealed in me this past week. it has been a forceful reminder that i desperately need God, and that even the very things i am proud of are just filthy rags being blown around in the wind.

ok. that was actually rather long. i'm sorry, i really need to learn how to type concisely >< hope you all are having an awesome summer!

for some reason i feel kind of compelled to share this with you all. it's from james 4:

⁸Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. ⁹Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. ¹⁰Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.

love,

erica