erica's post :)

today, i read through Mark 1 and Jeremiah 14 and 15 (because i missed a couple days' worth of devotions >< )

since we've been reading through the book of mark in life group, it wasn't that long ago that i read through this book but it was still nice for me to revisit it and remember what i learned from it when we read it together at the beginning of summer, and also trying to learn new things from it.
- one thing i noticed was that the gospel of Mark specifically states that the story of Jesus begins with a prophesy about John the Baptist. it really shows that John the Baptist "prepared the way" for Jesus, and that the story of Jesus starts with prophesies made about him in the old testament; his story can't be understood entirely without them. part of Jesus' legitimacy as the Son of God comes from the fact that he fulfilled all those prophesies, after all.
- another thing i noticed was that, right after John the Baptist says "after me will come one more powerful than i, the thongs of whose sandals i am not worthy to stoop down and untie." Jesus shows up and asks him to baptize him, hahah. it reminds me that although Jesus doesn't need to, he regularly chooses to use those who have the humility and wisdom to understand their positions relative to God. i pray that we will both be able to have that kind of an understanding, to know how unworthy we are to worship or commune with God, to remember always that we are merely jars of clay (2 corinthians 4:7).
- i remember one of the huddle groups sharing that they had observed how mission-minded Jesus is. he's singularly focused on what he was sent to do. if i were him, i probably would have just stayed in Capernaum - his ministry was so successful, hahah. everybody loved him and wanted to hear him preach (it says in verse 33 that the whole town gathered outside Simon's mother-in-law's house to hear him preach and heal people). but Jesus says, "let us go somewhere else - to the nearby villages- so i can preach there also. that is why i have come" (v. 38)
- i love how Mark records down the fact that Jesus slipped out really early in the morning and prayed, and it took his disciples so long to find him and tell him that everybody was looking for him. it reminds me of something i'm really fighting to remember all the time. my life is about my relationship with God. ministry and spending time with people is great and everything, but my relationship with God needs to come first. i think i shared this with you already, but nayoung really challenged me to deepen and treasure and cultivate my relationship with God this coming year. she said to me, "yeah, next year's not going to be easy, it sounds like you're going to be really busy. but so long as your relationship with God is ok, everything will work out." this past week, i hit a lot of snags and arguments with people, and i often feel so unmotivated and lazy, hahah. i barely spent time with God, and as a result everything i did felt really... empty. nothing felt right. i need to fight my heart to spend time with God. a friend said to me the other day that she feels like she really has to fight herself to spend time with God. she knows it's good, but she just can't make herself do it. and she told me that one time as she was about to board the plane, she said to herself, ok i HAVE TO READ THE BIBLE. so she packed nothing but her bible for the plane ride so that she would read it hahahahahahha. that's how i need to be fighting to spend time with God.

i think last week i felt really discouraged because i wanted to do all these other things instead of spending time with God, and because the desire to do other things was so strong, i felt discouraged by the fact that i wanted to read God's word so little, so i just decided not to do it altogether. but when i finally sat down one day and made myself do my devotions, i felt God saying to me, the problem isn't that you are tempted. of course there will be days when you don't want to read my word. you're still living in your sinful flesh so obviously you're going to want to do other things all the time. the problem is that you didn't turn away from these temptations, and realize that obedience to me is so much better. you just gave up.

God, i pray for the strength to be like Jesus, and do whatever it takes to guard my quiet time with you every single day. and i pray the same for my sisters as well :)