I'm working through both Proverbs and Matthew right now. I just finished the Psalms, so I haven't read very much of Proverbs yet.
One of my favorite Psalms is 139.
"Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out,
you formed me in my mother's womb.
I thank you, High God - you're breathtaking!
Body and soul, I am marvelously made!
I worship in adoration - what a creation!
You know me inside and out,
you know every bone in my body;
You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit,
how I was sculpted from nothing into something.
Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth;
all the stages of my life were spread out before you,
The days of my life all prepared
before I'd even lived one day." (Psalm 139:13-16)
Isn't that just beautiful? I was reading it, and I realized just how much God loves and adores me. I have not been treating myself like a precious child of God. I have been treating myself with hatred and cruelty. Carol helped me realize that treating myself like that is putting a barrier between me and God. It is very hard to fully love God when I cannot love His creation. Thus I made a vow on Monday to not hurt myself anymore, and to forgive myself if I fail and let God pick me up again. It's going to be hard, I'm not naive, but I trust in God to help me and give me the strength that I need.
This week has been far better than the past few weeks. I finally got a job at Borders!!! I'm starting July 15th after my family gets back from a vacation in Tennessee. It should last during the school year as well. My friend and I went out for ice cream to celebrate, so that definitely made me happy. :) Please keep both my sister and I in prayer. We're both adjusting to new medication and experiencing withdrawl from the old ones, so our house is pretty tense lately. Other than that, it has been rather well!
I hope ya'll are having wonderful weeks too!
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thanks for sharing! i love that passage too. glad to hear this week was overall better. i continue to keep you in my prayers! :)
ReplyDeletei'm glad you're having a better week too! :) and yes - i think you are never fully able to receive someone else's love until you are able to love yourself first. i pray that God will continue to show you just how beautiful and precious you are in his eyes.
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