Wednesday

Hellooooooo!!


I'm not sure I'm actually writing this to anyone since our blog has been pretty sparse lately (I know my posts have been sporadic too) but I decided to post anyway!

I'm reading through Isaiah and Revelation right now. I'm still pretty behind on the BRP, but I guess what really matters is not where I am but whether or not I'm able to dig in deep and understand God more through what I read.


I really like Isaiah 31. In my Bible the passage is titled "Alliance with Egypt is Futile."


Here's a small part:


"Alas for those who go down to Egypt for help
and who rely on horses,
who trust in chariots because there are many
and in horseman because they are very strong,
but do not look to the Holy One of Israel
or consult the LORD!


The Egyptians are human, and not God;
their horses are flesh, and not spirit.
When the LORD stretches out his hand,
the helper will stumble, and the one helped will fall,
and they will all perish together."
-Isaiah 31:1, 3


Here, Isaiah addresses the Israelites, who in battle turn to the Egyptians, their former oppressors, rather than to God who has repeatedly delivered them. How many times have I similarly chosen support based on wrong impressions? How many times have I chosen my own plans or the people I thought best able to provide advice rather than following God and also allowing Him to place people in my life able to speak wisdom into a situation I was going through, regardless of external "qualifications"? I see God's provision again and again, yet I turn back to my self-sufficiency. I know God is eternal and all other support temporary and yet I fail again and again to make decisions in light of that truth.


After reading this passage, I kept reflecting on the idea of being a vessel--broken, cracked, yet God slowly heals me and mends the cracks. Then, as His grace and love flow freely, they fill the vessel to the brim, then overflowing. At this, I take the vessel back into my control--treating God more as a repairman than a father and master, as my creator. I tend to think that though He created me and "fixed" the cracks made by my own and others' sin, I can do the maintenance alone. But I can't. Every time I turn back to my own self-sufficiency, the cracks reform and I can no longer hold God's grace. He continues to pour it in, but it leaks out. He continues to reach out to mend me, but its hard to fix something always on the move...and so, eventually, I return again to God, entirely crumbled again, often unable to move...and He patiently mends me again.

Instead of repeating this cycle of self-sufficiency and resultant brokenness, I hope to really learn an attitude of constant dependence, and an ability to wait quietly in God's presence. Of course, God is constantly redeeming me, but to ever go further, deeper, I need to remain in His presence and rely on Him consistently!


"I know your works, your toil and your patient endurance. I know that you cannot tolerate evildoers; you have tested those who claim to be apostles, but are not, and have found them to be false. I also know that you are enduring patiently and bearing up for the sake of my name, and that you have not grown weary. But I have this against you, that you have abandoned the love you had at first. Remember then from what you have fallen; repent, and do the works you did at first." --Revelation 2:2-5a


Things have been getting a little bit busier around here. Excel (the kids ESL classes that HMCC does) started up last week and I'm working in Rainbow class two mornings a week--kids going into the 3rd grade. It's a lot of fun and I really like the praise songs like the hippo one and undignified. If you don't know them, I'll teach them to you when you're back in Ann Arbor. They're hilarious!! Also, my ESL class just started our field work teaching migrant farm workers down in Manchester. Our first day was utterly chaotic but a lot of fun, and I'm looking forward to going back tomorrow night. Other than those two things, working, and meeting up with people, summer has still been pretty chill. I've recently been really addicted to The Office and I made it through the first two seasons in the last week. haha

Hope you are all doing well too!! :)